4year old won't eat animals

[sammum9]

My 4yo DS has over the last few weeks been saying he doesn't want to eat animals. When asked why he said it's because they have to be deaded first. We are a household of 7 and up until recently have all eaten meat. DS asks me whenever I put food in front of him if it comes from an animal and I answer honestly. I think he understands (as much as any 4 yo can) and is making a conscious decision. He's not being fussy as he previously loved sausages, bacon, roast chicken etc.

My main problem is that my DP refuses to accept it and gives DS whatever he's cooked. Yesterday it was bolognaise and DS didn't even ask him whether it was animal and wolfed it down. I do the majority of the cooking and really don't know whether to encourage him to eat the same as everyone else or prepare something separate. I'm also concerned about his health as I don't know much about vegetarianism. DS seems to have eaten an awful lot of cheese and baked beans recently!

Any advice welcome!

Oh bless him!
I would respect his wishes, vegetarian food's not that tricky & it may be a passing thing anyway. Quorn is great for making bolognaise with, and if the rest of you are having the traditional meat/carb/veg combo, you could just replace the meat with some sort of veggie burger/cheese omelette... Doesn't have to be complicated. Would be good for the whole family to have a couple of meat-free dinners per week anyway. Good luck!

Thank you! We do eat some meat free meals anyway, eg macaroni cheese (tho 15yo ds loves it with bacon in!!). I've been looking at veggie burgers/sausages but don't know if they actually contain any protein. I do use quorn pieces or mince sometimes anyway but DP moans about it!

Quorn, soya & bean burgers have protein in. I think you always get someone moaning about what you've cooked, no matter what you do!

Does he like eggs? Because you can do a fried egg in just a minute or two and stick that alongside other food? Or maybe try him on something like falafels? They are a nice small size for little hands too.

Remember our ideas of tasty are not necessarily theirs, - my 3 year old adores plain chickpeas or beans (I cook up dried ones for the freezer and she just wolfs a bowlful as they cool down) so don't stress too much about culinary masterpieces!

Also it's reassuring to read the protein per 100g on packets - things like frozen peas/broad beans have a surprisingly large amount of protein in. There is protein in every plant cell so he will be getting more than you realise and if you can top him up with eggs/milk/yogurt/nuts/peanut butter/pulses at the majority of mealtimes I'm sure he'll be fine.

Ground almonds are a great way of bumping up both the calorie and protein content of food - I put a heaped tsp into DD's porridge as it cooks.

If I were you, I'd follow your DH's example and serve up the normal family diet. 'Respecting wishes' doesn't apply to 4yos, sorry.

Depends on how strongly he feels about it Ergo, if he sticks to his guns he could end up with a very unbalanced diet.

He sounds fab, I'm really impressed that he's 4 and thinking about that sort of thing :-)

It's too difficult for you to be making two meals every day, so how about making vegetarian meals for everyone for half the week and then making two meals/getting something out of the freezer the other half? You can find a balance.

Your DP (or you, or DS's siblings) might argue that you shouldn't have to change everything to suit a child. But really vegetarianism isn't complicated, it's the same as eating meat except it takes some reeducation. And really you'd be expecting DS to turn things around just to make everything easier from everyone else, which isn't fair either. It's not like he's picking and choosing what he likes, it's that he doesn't feel good eating meat.

Nut roasts freeze easily and with a bit of melted cheese & a chunky tomato sauce are great and really filling.

Otherwise you've got lentils which you can make all fancy with herbs, chopped onions, tomatoes etc, you've got halloumi, and loads of veg and well okay I admit, I'm a student & don't do an enormous amount of proper cooking so I can't be a fountain of wisdom here, but a delve or two in a vegetarian recipe book would give you loads of inspiration. It really is easier than you might think.

Thank you for your replies. Some great ideas Velour, Chuck, Spilt (are you all veggie?) You've all made me think about it much more, and I guess I've already made the decision that I would like to follow his lead; after all I went in to school on his first day last week and explained so that must mean I actually care about his opinion?!

I think my real problem is DP. If DS eats meat, I think it's because he has got to the point where he trusts me not to give it to him, and he's right, so he doesn't realise it's meat when his dad gives it to him. I'll always give him the option of the meat version, (which I also think means I have to give my meat-eating children the option of veggie food - this is so confusing!!!! ), but I think that means he also trusts his daddy which in this case he shouldn't!!

I've invested in some soya nuggets and veggie sausages for those bangers and mash or nuggets and chips meals which Ds is really excited about.

But what do I do about DP??

Let DP cook for himself :)

TBH he sometimes does, but what about when he cooks for the children?

My DD is 20. Recently she said to me that as a child, it's a shock to find out that you're eating animals, and you don't want to, do you? But most of us feel pressured to go along with the 'norm'. But if someone doesn't want to, best to respect that, even if they are only four. Good for him!

My ds went through this phase for about a day....

My little brother (aged 34!) has been a life long vegetarian ever since he discovered that meat was animals. He has never wavered.

I think you should respect his wishes ... I hate to think of him being misled by your dp and surprised that Cogito thinks this is ok .

You must persuade your dp that it is really important to your ds and so horribly underhand to trick him like this.

My daughter was like this at 9, and is still vegetarian now at 16.

Thank you both, but it's been 7 weeks Iggly...my sis was looking after the children while I went for a job interview (which I didn't get incidentally...). She took them to the country park having stopped at the supermarket to pick up a picnic lunch, and while they were eating commented on how many of them were eating pig - one bacon, another ham, another pork.. DS has only eaten meat since if he hasn't known about it. Yet we'd talked previously about where food comes from (his youngest sis is only 5!) and he'd not been bothered!

I think if your dp won't respect ds's wishes, you should intervene and either cook yourself, or when dp cooks, you cook a vegetarian alternative.

Great in theory, but I'm not always at home. And if I prepared an alternative I'm not sure he'd offer it. He really seems to think I should just ignore it and it'll go away!

Its so hard when your partner and yourself have fundamentally differing views.
If he won't listen, there's little you can do, really, when you're not there.
I think I would let him know it would affect what I thought of him though.

Not a veggie, no, but in the process of stopping meat and dairy (but keeping fish & eggs). I empathise with your DS. I suppose I feel similarly, I don't feel good about it when I eat meat or dairy and I've struggled with that for a number of years and tbh have had enough, I don't want it. But that is hard in a thoroughly omnivorous family. I also respect that my DH has absolutely no intention of becoming veggie, ever, but enjoys many a veggie meal, and my 3 year old is a yoghurt/cheese/butter-aholic.

So I think good for you for supporting him, given he's too young to facilitate it all himself, and sorting it with school for lunches. I think it's very off for your DP to be feeding him meat hoping he won't notice.

If I was you I would be tempted to try out and find a few veggie meals that the whole family enjoy so that you reduce the simultaneous meat & veggie cooking to every other day or something.

Also consider whether you/he are comfortable with him having food that the meat is picked out of prior to dishing up? eg a sausage & bean casserole or chicken & chickpea stew/curry could potentially be a solution. If there's two types of protein in the same meal then he can just have the bean casserole/chickpea curry and hassle for you is reduced. I know most adult veggies would be revolted by this, but it might be a compromise for now? Obv I would make sure he was aware.

Or build your own pizzas might be fun and allow meat/veggie options.

Bean & lentil chilli is popular here, you could try something like that for everyone?

I make and freeze bean burgers which I then cook and have and sometimes we all have them and sometimes DH and DD have meat ones, with wedges & salad or somesuch. Can post recipe if you want.

You're right of course, and I generally agree with you. But on the other hand DP has been through periods in his life when there's been little to eat - either eat what there is or go hungry. . . which makes me a little bit more sensitive to his views.

Thanks Spilt, recipe would be great thanks. And we do make pizzas which all the kids love. I think the only solution is not to leave DP in charge of cooking unless I've prepared the food first. (The bolognaise situation only arose because DD1 gave me the tummy bug which caused her to miss first day back at school last thursday and me to miss my weekend!!)

A couple of weeks ago we were at the "chicken isn't an animal it's a bird" stage and DS allowed me to pick out the bacon from his meal, so although he now won't eat chicken he might let me pick meat out of his food!

Courtesy of a friend of mine:

Makes 3 decent size burgers, so I usually triple the recipe and freeze a load.

80gm of mushrooms
1 small onion
1 garlic clove
1small egg
50gm brown bread crumbs
40gm of cheddar cheese grated
100gm Red Kidney beans
Roughly blitz mushrooms, onion and garlic in a food processor. Fry the mushrooms, garlic and onion in oil on a low heat until they are soft.
Wipe out the food processor and blitz the breadcrumbs until they are a
fine crumb.
Put the breadcrumbs in a mixing bowl. Put the egg and kidney beans in
the food processor, blitz a couple of times until the egg and beans
are well mixed (try to keep a bit of texture in the beans).
Add the egg and bean mix and the cooked mushrooms, onions and garlic
into the bowl with the breadcrumbs, add the grated cheese to this mix
as well.
Stir all the ingredients together by hand.
Form the mixture into patties.
Cook at gas 7 for 20 mins, or 30 if cooking from frozen. Turn them over part way through.

Lovely with gherkins and or a big slice of tomato on top!

Wow Ds is gonna love it as he's been a burgeraholic until recently. Thank you.

DD1 said exactly the same at the same age. I explained that it would be hard for me to feed her and the whole family well so would she please eat fish, which she did.
I don't know what to advise about DH, I can see his background would make him understandably intolerant of DS's decision, but don't lie to your son. I'm very proud of the fact that I've never given dd soup with stock or 'meaty bits'

^^ I don't mean she then ate fish every meal- it meant as a family we'd have at least 2x fish and 2x veg meals a week and dd would have the veg+ a meat substitute.