Please help with food menu's for the week, fed up of cooking 3 meals.

[Radley]

I am fed up of having to do 3 different meals a day. dd1 and dd2's meal, dh and then lastly mine. Many times I don't bother doing myself something and either have a take away or beans on toast etc, hence my eating patterns are erratic and I'm v overweight.

Also, I'm sure this is costing us more money in the long run.

What I would like is to make meals for us as a family. The children won't eat alot of things because they have heard daddy say he doesn't like it, but if I persevere and let them know there is nothing else they will try other food.

Can anyone give me any recipes etc, bearing in mind that dh will not eat the following foods (I kid you not):

Brown bread
ANYTHING to do with cheese
ANYTHING to do with tomato's (baked beans maybe)
ANYTHING with cream
Butter
Semi-skimmed milk
Carrots
Broccoli
Cabbage
Cauliflower
Courgettes
Fish
Pizza
Lasagne/canneloni etc
Pies (doesn't like the pastry)

I've had many years of this and now I'm fed up. All he lives off is fried food really and I think we ought to sit back, take stock and start eating healthier.

DH will quite happily cook his own food, but he makes a mess of everything and every work surface and has a phobia about filling the dishwasher.

PLEASE HELP

Leave your dp to cook his own food, and insist that he clears up his own mess. If he doesn't want to clear up his own mess, he eats what you cook without complaint, those are the rules!

saying "I don't like it" Means you leaave the table. Whether you are 3 or 33.

Your dp is behaving like a 4 year old. Don't bear in mind any of those foi9bles, I bet he would eat it if he was hungry. you cannot cook a hgealthy meal for your children and leave all those things out!

I can't believe you put up with this!
Isn't your time and energy worth more??

Make one pot meals (things liek stews and curries)Then even if someone is home at a diferent time,can be heated in microwave.

I agree completely with Colditz.

They will all eat if they are hungry enough, you've got to try it, for your own sanity, it sounds stressful for you.

My DD (5) highlighted this fact last night. I was telling her that we've got friends over for lunch on Sunday and I was going to do a big goulash in the slow cooker, she replied by saying "Yuuuuckk, I really hate goulash". I reminded her that last time I cooked it she was eating it out the slow cooker before it was even dished up and she said "Yes, but I was very hungry, I will only eat it if I'm very hungry".

yes, i agree with colditz too

Radley - you need to concern yourself about what you and your DDs eat and ensure that you cook good healthy food for you and them. Tell DH he can join in too if he wishes. If he is still stuck in his undeveloped taste (what did his mother cook for him?) he will have to sort himself out. You can give him an ultimatum about clearing up after himself - provided you clear all your stuff away - train your DDs when they are old enough to help!

I wouldn't put up with that kind of faddishness and fussiness in my 3 and 5 yo, never mind an adult. He's a silly arse imho.

Agree with the others, let him make his own and you concentrate on yourself and DDs.

2 meassages sorry as one isn't long enough.

Hmm I used to have a similar problem with my dp. IMO if he acted like a child he would get treated like one.

Tell him and don't ask him what you are going to do.

Point out that family mealtimes are important.
Getting kids onto healthy eating is important so no going 'erugh disgusting' in front of them.
Also tell him you are worried about his health.

Tellhim from tomorrow (or whenever) I shall be cooking a family meal and that will be what there is for dinner. Don't have other food in the house that he will eat instead.

Do try to cook meals where the majority of ingrediants he will eat, or if not puree all veg into sauce and add curry spices (needn't be hot) and meat. Serve with rice.

You could do roasted veg (like parsnips, potatoes, sweet potato), some meat and peas and gravy. Adding another veg every few weeks helps.

What about thai food or similar (can be adapted for kids so not too hot). Like get chicken stock, some pieces of cooked chicken breast, noodles, spring onions, ginger, garlic, mushrooms and put all together as a soup (takes very little cooking).

My dp still won't touch anything green cept peas, cauliflower (makes him sick apparently), mushrooms, anything cheesy or creamy, salad, but has improved a lot.

Honestly they're worse than the bloody kids.

dh needs to grow up imo
god you woulnt standhtis form a kid

also why both kids eat seperately?

Sorry, but I think you really need to sit down and talk to your husband about how hard it is for you, how you're worried about his diet and how you want to eat as a family and only cook one meal.

Any efforts to give the kids anything different will be undermined if they see dad behaving like that.

Draw up a meal plan for the next week. Try to include some of your husband's likes and those of your children, but don't be limited by those. Insist everyone eats a portion of each food - even if it's only 2-3 mouthfuls. Perhaps give another food type they like more at the same meal - or offer say 3 types of veg and everyone has to have at least 2. So one child might have a miniscule portion of cabbage but lots more of peas if that's what they like better. But they still try the cabbage.

It takes several goes for palates to adjust to foods, so you need to persevere, but it's worth it.

Your husband mustn't undermine you. If he doesn't particularly like a meal, he has a small portion but doesn't criticise it. My husband doesn't like fish at all, but he will eat the occasional portion because we're trying to eat more oily fish. The children know dad doesn't really go for it, but they see him eat a modest amount 'because it's good for us' and I think it's good that they see we're following the same rules.

Make sure that fussy eaters don't get offered 'better' alternatives - keep lots of fruit in the house if you're really worried about anyone going to bed hungry, but don't offer anything else.

Hope you solve this, for your own sake and everyone's health.

Coderoo, what do you mean, why do both kids eat separately, if you mean, why do I eat separately from them, it's because I'm tidying up from cooking theirs and starting on dh's.

He would NEVER stand for the if you don't eat what I cook, you don't eat, he would make himself chips, etc.

LILYMAID, you asked what his mother cooked for him? Well, she cooked anything he wanted, the way he wanted it. She used to do corned beef hash, and because he didn't like onion, she used to put the onion in whole and then take it out at the end.

His foibles go on and on, if he has a sunday dinner, his mashed potatoes and mushy peas have to be on a separate plate so it doesn't mix with the gravy.

He had NEVER tried pasta or rice until he started living with me when he was 35.

I will say one thing though, myself and the kids love veg, so much so, that I have to prepare it when they out playing otherwise they keep coming in and pinching it whilst raw.

I would make youself, and the kids, something healthy & varied each night. Sit down and eat with them. That way you are eating decently too. You can sometimes make it something you know your DH will definitely like, sometimes not.

Tell your DH each day what it's going to be, and he can eitehr have it, or not.

If he won;t eat it, the alternative is he shops for, cooks, and cleans up his own choice of food.

Don;t make it for him.

Blimey Radley, what a nightmare!

Do you think your dh has a fear of food, or something like ASD or is he just a dreadfully fussy eater whose mother indulged his whims?

At the end of the day he is an adult and can eat what he likes - but he really should not make comments in front of the children and clear up his own mess. I would eat with the children and let him cook his own dinner. Or is it not a simple as that?

I think FrayedKnot has the answer. Tell what you intend to cook and give him the option of having something else. If you want to cook something else for him, that's up to you - but this way you can eat what you want (and what is good for the health of you and your children).
I have to admit doing things for my DSs such as putting whole mushrooms in - so they are visible and can be avoided - but my DSs do eat a wider range of food than your DH.
Good luck.

Radley, how about grilling food that he will eat. How about rubbing some chicken pieces with a little olive oil, salt and a black pepper and grilling until cooked. That would be a lot healthier than frying. You could serve that with potato wedges or chips cooked in the oven (parboil potato pieces for about 5 minutes,drain and put into container with a couple of teaspoon of olive oil and some salt, shake until potato is covered, and cook in oven. I notice peas were not on your list so you could serve that too.

Try grilling pork chops or pork loin steaks (rub with a little olive oil,salt and pepper first) or stir fry beef, pork or chicken strips. How about an Irish stew (cut up lamb, dip pieces in some flour to help thicken gravy, place in cooking pot with potatoes, onion, peas and cover with water. Leave to simmer for 2-3 hours.
Also pork hotpot - cut up pork loin and dip into flour and seal in olive oil, remove meat, add onion and cook until soft. Place meat and onion in cooking pot with some peas, add stock (thicken some of the stock with cornflour) and cover with sliced potatoes. Brush potatoes with olive oil and cook in oven until potatoes are cooked.

No doubt he likes burgers so how about making your own and grilling them. Similarly grill sausages and serve with jacket potato and peas.
Good luck!

Radley, no, please don't put up with this. Just don't do it. Cook a meal that is good for you and your children. If he doesn't want it he may leave the table and give himself a heart attack if he wishes. Just because his mother was idiotic enough to pander to him does not mean he should be pandered to.

He will either learn to cook and clean up ofr his tastes will change. It's not youyr responsibilty to find something he will eat, it is his. My Grandpa did this to my grandma all her life, but wyhenever my mother (his DIL) cooked for him, he would only complain once. He would be told that that was what dinner was today, and he was welcome to make suggestions for tomorrows dinner. He stopped moaning about it eventually!

If you went into a cafe and didn't like anything on the menu, would you expect them to completely change the menu? No, you'd leave!

Thanks alot guys!!!!!!!

Looks like I'm going to get tough. I know I put up with alot but bite my tongue for a quiet life.

Good luck Radley I think you are going to have to be strong on this one. I think the idea of setting a meal and telling DH in advance so he can opt in or out is probably the best. I think if you go too confrontational and all guns blazing it could all me a bit too stressful for you. And when you cook something like grilled chicken and potato wedges (as speedymama suggests) you could include two veg - one that DH will eat and one that he won't so that the rest of you are not limited by his preferences. Especially as your DDs love veg so much. That is a brilliant starting point which lots of mothers would be envious of. My two like veg as well which I am very thankful for. Their favourite is carrots which DH does not like (although will eat in stews, stirfrys etc) so I would perhaps serve carrots and brocolli.