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Original poster

independent eating

33 replies

Evita · 16/03/2004 21:18

Dd, 17 months, is less and less willing to let me spoon feed her which is fine by me but she's really pretty useless at feeding herself. She's so-so with finger foods though very fussy, and getting any real protein / veg / fruit down her is almost impossible. She can just about manage to feed herself a small yoghurt with a spoon but anything else is just all over the place. Should I worry about this or just go with it and hope she doesn't fade away?!

OP posts:

Hulababy · 16/03/2004 21:21

Evita - my 23mo DD hasn't let me feed her anything since she was about 15 months, and was reluctant even before than for a few months too. With practise your DD will get better and better. DD is really good with a fork and spoon now.

Why not try the 2 spoon thing first - one for you and one for her until she gets the hang of it?

Oh, and we found the little metal cutlery is easier to use, rather than the plastic sets which are often more bulky.

Enjoy

charlieplus3 · 16/03/2004 21:23

That metal cutlery advice definatly works. Plus you could put some on the fork, but put it down on the bowl so she can actually pick it up herself. IYSWIM

HiddenSpirit · 16/03/2004 21:26

Evita, have you tried putting the food on the spoon for her and placing it back in the bowl/plate so she can pick the spoon up (with the food on) and put it in her mouth herself?

Thankfully DS2 is still letting me spoon feed him/put it on spoon for him to pick up as I remember the nightmare with DS1 when he refused to let me feed him but couldn't feed himself either.

Sorry if you've already tried that

HiddenSpirit · 16/03/2004 21:27

sorry charlieplus3, crossed posts

Hulababy · 16/03/2004 21:27

We used to do the putting the food on the spoon for her and placing it back in the bowl/plate so she can pick the spoon up (with the food on) and put it in her mouth herself thing too. Which worked for a while.

Original poster

Evita · 16/03/2004 21:36

Thanks guys.

Hulababy, I've been doing the 2 spoon thing since she was about 12 months but now it ends up getting to 10 spoons as each one I bring over she grabs until she's got a handful of spoons! She won't let anything I'm controlling past her pursed little mouth.

I've also been doing the putting food on the fork option but so far it's only working with pasta which she mostly finger feeds anyway. Tonight I made her some egg fried rice which she loves but whereas usually she sort of stuffs it in in fistfulls she insisted on trying to eat it with a fork. I think she actually got virtually nothing in. She turns the spoon / fork the wrong way all the time and gets frustrated there's nothing on it when it reaches her mouth but she won't let me help.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 16/03/2004 21:43

If she won't let you Evita - I guess it will just come down to lots of practise.

Can you give her a spoon and fork to play with as well - not just at lunch times? And you could play tea parties together and try and get her to watch you - like a copying game?

And try and give her more food she can use her fingers with. DD's first Christmas (she was 8 months) DD ate all her Christmas dinner with fingers - meat, veg, the lot. I have disciovered that most foods can be made into finger foods!

Original poster

Evita · 16/03/2004 21:54

Yes, she loves walking round with a spoon actually! Yesterday she managed to eat a whole yoghurt by sort of scooping it out between her 2 closed fists. It's kind of amusing but also kind of frustrating. And VERY messy. But the mess doesn't worry me so much as the worry about her not getting enough to eat.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 16/03/2004 21:57

So long as she maintains weight growth and is developing fine, she'll be okay I think.

Original poster

Evita · 16/03/2004 22:02

Thanks Hulababy. It's a tricky time isn't it when they're desperate to become more independent but don't quite have the ability to do it properly yet?

OP posts:

Bozza · 17/03/2004 09:57

I think Hula is right and you just have to go for it. My DS was only 9 months when he stopped letting me feed him - apart from breakfast cereal and puddings. Although it stressed me at the time he was always very advanced at self-feeding because of all the practice he got.

Hula - LOL at the Christmas dinner story. It was the same for us. DS was 10 months and we were at PILs. I told MIL to just put a bit of everything in a bowl and DS will sort himself out. And he did.

debster · 17/03/2004 10:08

I'm afraid I haven't got any advice as my dd (also 17 months) is behaving exactly the same way with the same frustrating consequences. It's fine when it's food she can pick up with her hands but rice is a real no-no. A lot of it is because she hasn't grasped (no pun intended) the way you're supposed to hold a spoon. So when she brings it up to her mouth it all spills out. I had to laugh at using fists for yoghurt as that happens alot at home! It does make me laugh when she ends up completely covered in food. We had pasta and tomato/veg sauce yesterday and she ended up looking like she had a really bad fake tan - her whole face was orange.

Coddy · 17/03/2004 10:18

My policy is give them the spoon at 1 year an just cope with the mess
they get it int he end

Original poster

Evita · 17/03/2004 11:09

LOL Debster, dd is the same. She looks like she's put the wrong colour foundation on and then added the wrong colour blusher over the top. Does it worry you how little she manages to eat that way? Pasta is a bit of a life saver for me at the moment. Dd eats it with her fingers and shovels it in a whole piece at a time. If it's not pasta for tea then tea consists of very little for her. To cap it all, she's v. fussy.

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Zerub · 17/03/2004 13:58

At this stage I went back to giving dd pureed food for a few weeks. As in, if the meal was a meat casserole with potatoes, I mushed it all up in a bowl and blended it a bit till it was thick stodge consistency. Then she could eat it with a spoon - if she turned the spoon over on the way to her mouth, a lot of the food just stayed stuck to the spoon! And weetabix for breakfast with pureed fruit mixed in, but not quite enough milk - stodge again. Once she was getting spoon practice at every meal it only took a few weeks before she was competent enough to go back to proper food.

Original poster

Evita · 17/03/2004 14:08

That's more or less what I've been trying to do so far, Zerub. The problem is she eats about 3 or 5 spoon fulls that way then gets sort of bored with it and then just plays with it but won't let me feed her. Even with very pureed fruit it's the same. I just keep hoping that if she's hungry enough she'll eat something, but I am a bit concerned as it seems to me that this last week she's had v. little useful nutrition. She's not a big milk drinker either. I keep offering little bits of cheese etc. hoping that will keep her going!

OP posts:

debster · 17/03/2004 15:10

I reckon we must share the same dd Evita as mine also doesn't drink much milk. She now only has between 5-10oz in drink form and about 4-5oz with her breakfast of Weetabix or Ready Brek a day. We've started giving a pot of fromage frais every day and bits of cheese but I would still love her to drink more milk. I've just got this cosy notion of a child drinking their warm milk before bedtime. Although I don't know where this has come from as my ds (now 5) didn't drink much either.

I think the sticky food is a good idea - haven't tried that one yet.

Original poster

Evita · 17/03/2004 16:15

That's about what my dd drinks a day too, debster, though minus the milk in breakfast cereal. For breakfast she usually just has about a quarter of a piece of toast and a little drink of milk. She's a v. small eater, is yours? When was she born by the way? Dd was born on 10 October.

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 17/03/2004 16:18

If mine won't eat I distract her and shovel it in. Or give her cubes of apple/cucumber/pear/cheese/whatever I have in fridge that doesn't require spoon

Original poster

Evita · 17/03/2004 20:27

I've been doing 'distract and shovel in' for as long as I can remember! She's got wise to it now though and is never quite distracted enough to accept a spoon full from me.

Tonight's tea: 5 pasta spirals in a tomato sauce, 1 tablespoon of plain boiled rice, 1cm square of cheese, 3oz milk. Do you think that's dreadful for a 17 month old?! I tried offering lots of other things but this was the best I could do.

OP posts:

geogteach · 18/03/2004 09:02

DD has yet to let a spoon pass her lips at 10 months! Everything is finger food - my health visitor just suggests 5 small meals (I'm not claiming she actully gets that every day!) of things she can feed herself. At least I don't have to bother making purees!

Original poster

Evita · 18/03/2004 20:20

geogteach, what do you put in the 5 small meals? I'm seriously running out of ideas now and also getting a bit worried. Here's today's consumption:

Breakfast: Quarter slice of toast and butter, 5 dry shreddies, 3oz milk.

Lunch: 2 bites of banana, 2 pieces of pasta

Snack: Soya yoghurt, 3oz milk, 2 plain crisps

Tea: 1 tablespoon egg fried rice, half a yoghurt, 3oz milk

And nothing else, literally nothing. Though I offered lots.

OP posts:

hermykne · 18/03/2004 20:45

evita
my dd , 6 days younger than yours!, is just as bad. she has started feeding herself yogurt too, refuses anything else, even if i disguise in yogurt tub!, shes gradually getting the hang of it.
her diet is pretty poor and its exasperating after 3 days of no food or just plainly refusing on her behalf. but i try to let it go. she now refused her weetabix and this was always guaranteed, eats it dry now!
my dd eats no meat bar chicken and thats disguised too. i feel her iron intake is low.
she does like her milk but i am now concerned about allergy to cows milk - another thread.

took her to doctor the other day as my nerves were at me, and he was so laid back and said she looks healthy, does she sleep, has she energy and she'll be fine. "thanks" said i.

Original poster

Evita · 18/03/2004 20:54

Well, hermykne, we don't have much option but to just go with it do we? It's infuriating though when you get all these food charts telling you about 'daily dozens' etc. and then you're told that the tiny crappy bits of food they eat are enough!

Sorry, on a real downer about it today. I've been much better recently. I'll get over it again!

OP posts:

kiwisbird · 18/03/2004 20:57

What we have recently tried and it has worked is...
Make dinner serve it in a partioned plate, half for finger food half for spoon feeding...
DD 16 mths now doesn't tip plates everywhere so this is good...
She is happy to pick bits off with hand and shovel them in, she is equally happy when lining up next handful I am able to slot in spoon.
Also add a few forks and spoons, load them up assist with levering to said gob and voila
Success
Hopefully

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