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Original poster

how often do your kids have sweets?

85 replies

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 06/08/2006 17:48

and do you have "rules" about when/why etc? and - while we're at it - has anyone successfully introduced new rules? esp re childminders or nannies and sweets?

OP posts:
heiferjamese · 07/08/2006 10:43

My DD has chocolate every day (as do I).. I don't buy sweets but if anyone else does for her then she can have them.

She is only 2.7 and I just don't thinks she is missing out by me not buying sweets...

Chocolate on the other hand, well what child can do without that (or what mother indeed)...

melrose · 07/08/2006 11:11

Why nearly in tears??

Original poster
thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 07/08/2006 13:19

melrose: she who must not be mentioned. I was outraged. and tired.

OP posts:
appyday · 07/08/2006 14:00

DD (23m) always thinks she wants cake/sweets/choc then after 1-2 bites goes off the idea and if we don't keep an eye on her we then find it dicarded down the side of settee or squashed in dolly's mouth or carpet. She genuinely prefers fruit, 1 weakness is quavers if they're around.

foxinsocks · 07/08/2006 14:12

mine are allowed pretty much what they want on the condition that they eat 3 proper meals a day - the minute they stop eating their meals, they aren't allowed snacks but as mine both eat like horses that's rarely a problem

Generally they chose fruit as a snack (they are allowed to help themselves to the fruit bowl) but they can have biscuits/cake/chocolate/crisps if they want. Don't generally keep too many sweets in the house because I would polish them off

blueshoes · 07/08/2006 15:02

Dd gets to eat sweets/chocs pretty much when she asks for it - so could be every day or 2-3 times a week or none at all. She is not a great eater BTW. At most, I might say you can't eat choc until you have had some proper food - but if she insists, she gets choc anyway! Or if I think she is going to get sick from too much, I will tell her that the next one is the last one. That's it.

But ... she is not a sweet tooth generally, so I don't have to put up with many requests or restrictions. And she eats well at nursery (who also give her sweets on occasion as treats - to which I have no objection), though not at home lol.

I figure I indulge when I feel like it, some days more than others. So dd should also be allowed. But as we are not sweet tooths, we generally self-regulate our intake anyway.

GirlySquare · 07/08/2006 16:21

my dd gets chocolate when she asks same as blueshoes, usually chocolate buttons although she's had Green & Blacks dark chocolate too - my special treat, if she spots it then she has to have a piece!

ocd · 07/08/2006 16:22

wim with foxy

m1m1rie · 07/08/2006 16:53

I'm also with Foxy. Sweets are not evil, they are but empty calories. Stick by my theory that anything without nutritional value may be enjoyed in moderation as it is good for the soul, but bad for the body if consumed in vast quantities. Which is why there is so little of the sweet stuff in my house because I would eat it when I didn't really want it, just because I know it is there. Also DD1 the same (probably worse, actually) and would not know when to stop sneaking bits out the cupboard when I wasn't looking. Draw the line at sugary, fizzy drinks, though. That is where the damage is done, I think. Being practically addicted to Coca Cola myself (I hardly buy it any more, because I can't resist it when it's around), I should know.

sockmonkey · 07/08/2006 19:47

I have a sweetie box in the kitchen(it has treat size packs of buttons, jelly babies, haribo, etc) I will give DS1 treats if he is good. He has maybe 2 bags a day. TBH he prefers toast at the moment... strange little fella. I don't see anything wrong in sweets in moderation. After all I eat a chocolate bar every day...sometimes 2...mmmm chocolate.

marshmellowmummy · 07/08/2006 22:20

Hi every body new to this so here we go, Sweets choc and other thigh sticking foods yes to all in our house,i think a little of some thing is good for you, mine have to eat all there dinner before they get afters,if they dont eat there dinner then they no not to ask for afters, I do believe if you dont let your kids have some sweet stuff then they rebel when older and could end up with eating disorders, like my self was not aloud any thing that was so called bad food, so when i was old enough to go shop on my own i brought every choc bar there was to try and doubled my weight in 6 mths, so i will not be making that mistake with mine.

Clary · 07/08/2006 23:49

marshmellow that's interesting about eating lots after it was banned.

I have battled with my weight all my life and that's one reason I don't buy bags of sweets.

What sort of thing do you all mean? Do you put a big bag of fun-size twirls in yr Asda trolley each week, or what? (I'm genuninely interested).

MadamePlatypus · 08/08/2006 11:23

I expect DS (2.9) to eat more or less what I eat. We don't tend to have sweet things hanging around the house, but if we have made a cake (ooh sudden reality check - if we have BOUGHT a cake) we will all share it for afternoon tea or if we are in Starbucks we will share a muffin or if we are on a picnic there might be crisps. I don't keep a supply of crisps or sweets for me or DH, so I don't keep one for DS either.

On the other hand, I am pretty laid back about grandparents and sweets. When I went to visit one granny I always got a tube of smarties, and the other one always had a box of maltesers but this didn't make me expect the same at home.

bin · 08/08/2006 11:43

I try not to make an issue out of it so if we are out and they want they get but rarely buy them sweets etc and never as a treat but would be more as "just thought you'd like this" type offering. So they sometimes eat loads while I cringe but mostly don't get any for about 2 months I suppose. I'm sure many have similar memories but when at school, a girl I knew wasn't allowed sweets or tv or just about anything tasty/interesting, so she used to grab them whenever the opportunity arose and ate loads more than I did.

riab · 08/08/2006 12:49

DS is just getting to the age to like sweet things. I tend to steer clear of 'sweeties' at this age still (16 months) but he adores icecream and flapjacks, so we try and make our own to vary the flavours.
He alos likes cheesy flavour things and prefers to feed himself so he gets crispy snack things most days. He can't quite manage a spoon yet!

Speaking as a nutritionist banning sweets or turning them into 'treats' can backfire in the long term.

Sweets are fun, and lets be honest they taste good!!!! Instead of turning on type of food into a bad guy I'm trying to focus more on introducing lots of new flavours and making sure he enjoys fruit and vegetables AS WELL.

So far today he has had a homemade fruit smoothie icelolly, small bit of moms toast a potato pancake, pasta with pesto and chicken/veg puree and 1/4 bag of cheesy kettle crisps. He'll probably have flapjack for afters at teatime.

riab · 08/08/2006 12:52

oh yeah, I forgot to say I don't buy sweet things to keep in the house and we rarely have biscuits in either.
I intend to stick to that and to try and keep up on the baking front cos then he learns cooking skills too!
Nowt wrong with good old fashioned sticky toffe pudding!
As for 'sweeties' I'll buy them when we are out and about the same way I occasionally buy a big punnet of fresh raspberries or a still warm batch of scones to eat!

ChocaholicMum · 08/08/2006 13:59

i have my boy who is 12 now so i cant really stop im eating sweets because i give him pocket money and he goes and buys them himself but i wouldnt usually stop him anyway because i eatlots of chocolate as u might have guessed from the name and i'm 32 and slim and fit rhys is quite slim and my baby girl is only 14 months so she doesnt eat much chocolate and prefers grapes anyway but she does have the odd bit of milkybar chocolate and she's got little pot belly like most babies but shes of average weight for her age.

thecow · 08/08/2006 14:06

Hi, I never introduced sweets to my son until he was 2 and then only as a treat for good behaviour. He is now 5 and will have a small bowl of 4 or 5 single sweets after school, if he has had a good day. As a result, he has never developed a 'sweet tooth' and will more often than not, ask for fruit when he wants a snack and not sweets. I was told I was cruel not giving him sweets when he was younger, but my belief was, what he doesn't have, he dooesn't miss. He now thinks its wonderful when he gets sweets and see's them as a genuine treat which he knows he must earn.

marshmellowmummy · 08/08/2006 15:22

clary the things i brought and demolished was packs of biscuits sweets chocolate any thing i was not allowed, I was 11 years old before i had any of these things and i rebelled with a vegence.At 11 yrs old i weighed in at 7st in 6 mths i had gained 4st through binge eating crap i was not allowed i used to buy food and hide it i know struggle with my weight. With my two i let them have choc for a treat but most stuff after there dinner is icecream, they are not big sweet eaters.I let them try every thing and then they wont feel the need to do what i did when i was younger.

MaloryClassyTowers · 08/08/2006 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

riab · 08/08/2006 16:00

The problem with sweets as a reward for good behaviour or to cheer a crying baby up is that that association carries on into adulthood.
So you 'reward' yourself with sweets.

I see people in my practise who have real problems with their weight because they can't break the habits they have around sweet/junk food.

Because sweet things are 'naughty but nice' the implicit association is that other foods - fruit, veg, bread etc AREN'T nice! so there is even less motivation to eat them.

How about finding treats which promote positive activites?
For example a treat for good behaviuos could be being allowed to read for another 5 mnutes at bedtime, going swimming with dad etc.
As kids we (DB and me) always wanted to read at the table or get down before the adults had finished eating.
So a good 'reward' for us was to be allowed to bring a book to the table or to be allowed to get down to go and play outside. Both rewards encouraged positive beahviuors (reading/exercise) rather than encouraging us to see sweet/junk food as a reward.

(another reward was for mom or dad to bake for us to have fresh breadbuns for tea - that was really straightforward, if we made too much mess/noise then mom/dad dind't feel in the mood or have enough time ot bake!)

bin · 08/08/2006 18:36

you talk a lot of sense riab am ashamed to say I have long forgotten the book at the table treat we used to use that I'll reinstate immediately thanks!

xanadu8 · 09/08/2006 07:45

hey there....i only let my kids have sweets after a meal so it is part of their daily routine as such...it is very rare that they have sweets at any other time as i am lucky and they prefer fruit, although persuading my family that this is the way i work is a totally different matter lol

zarney · 09/08/2006 13:14

only after he has eaten usually unless we are on an outing. I dont make a big deal out of sweets and he will often not want them if offered. He is not greedy and will save them for later. Dont get any issues over them.

alexsmilitantmum · 09/08/2006 13:16

currently ds1 is getting sweets every time he does a wee! so long as it's not in his pants or on the floor!!!