Foolproof cupcake and buttercream recipes please!

[TheNightIsDark]

Sodding school valentines cake sale

I was thinking of buying some heart wafers and sticking them in buttercream on a fairy cake.

I don't know how to make buttercream

I am not a great baker, but the following always works out fine! Crack and weigh however many eggs you want to use ,and weigh that same amount of stork marg (better than butter for fairy cakes), self-raising flour and caster sugar. If you're being fancy, cream the Stork and sugar, mix in eggs then fold in the flour. I never usually bother, just chuck it all in a bowl and mix till pale and fluffy and this seems to work out fine! Add a few drops of vanilla extract and loosen the mixture a wee bit with milk so it blobs off your spoon into the cake cases. I usually do about 15 mins at 160ish for regular-size cakes.
I make buttercream by mixing butter, icing sugar and a wee splish of milk, though haven't really found a way to do it that doesn't cover my kitchen in icing sugar.

4 medium eggs and 200g of butter (stork for me) caster sugar, self raising flour. Splash of vanilla extract.

Cream butter and sugar together until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time (with a spoon of flour to stop curdling. Add rest of the flour. Dont over mix.

Use an ice cream scoop to get even cakes.

For the buttercream I use one pack of Lurpak slightly salted butter to one small box of icing sugar. I put mine in the mixer with a drop of milk and a drop of vanilla and leave it on high for a while.

I work in ounces still, so 4 oz each of baking marg, sr flour and caster sugar, and 2 eggs (or 6 6 6 and 3 for more/bigger cakes)
Beat marg and sugar til pale and fluffy, add beaten eggs slowly, add flour gradually. Add a bit of milk and vanilla til it sort of plops off a spoon.
Buttercream is about one pack of unsalted butter to one pack icing sugar and whisk for ages - I stick mine in the mixer, then walk away for 15 mins.

I don't have a free standing mixer

Thank you! I shall attempt to whisk by hand. Or steal a nice mixer from MIL.

It works fine with a hand mixer - I used to do it that way before I got one. You might not feel inclined to stand for 15 mins though - don't blame you!