I've had a culinary disaster of a weekend. Dodgy lamb, sludgy cheesecake and lumpy gravy :(

[shoppingbagsundereyes]

Had lovely lovely friends to stay who were very kind about my various disasters but I'm so disappointed as I like to think of myself as a good cook.

Saturday
Cherry and almond cake - dry
White choc and ginger cheesecake - didnt set, delicious but sludgy
Orzo pasta and pesto salad - pasta all stuck together
Sunday
Roast lamb - utter disaster. Smelt odd and had a greenish tinge when I took off the plastic. My mum and guests agreed would be fine once cooked. Not fine, tasted gamey and odd so we ate a few bites and binned the rest
Gravy - only bloody Bisto but I still cocked it up and it had brown lumps in it
:(

Cake sounds like you baked it too long
Cheesecake you needed more gelatine (so bloody fiddly, it's DHs job in this house to make cheesecake as I'm awful at it!)
Orzo again sounds like it got overcooked, a good way to save it is to toss through some olive oil
NEVER cook/serve meat that looks or smells off, not worth the health hassle
Gravy you should add a small amount of cold water to the granuals, mix to a thick paste then add hot water/meat juices to desired consistency whilst stirring.

You have my sympathy; I hate it when a series of things goes wrong in the kitchen consecutively.

If it's any comfort, I bought two whole octopus on Monday and proceeded to roast them. They were in there for 1h 45m when I remembered they were baby ones, not full adult ones. Consistency like leather and inedible.

On Tuesday did an asparagus, mint and celery risotto and forgot to season it. Corrected it at the end and added loads of parmesan but it wasn't the same.

I'm making courgette fritters for toddler's lunch and meatballs for supper - nothing too taxing today so hopefully I can't screw it up!

The asparagus, mint and celery risotto sounds lovely. Could you give us the recipe?
A nice tip I picked up at a dinner party - cut asparagus spears in half lengthwise before cooking in butter. They serve more people that way.
I would add some sliced pistachios for a posh touch.
any meat that has turned greenish has gone bad. Just throw it away. Be careful when buying. In an emergency curried lentils are quick and easy. And if you have some sausages, they go well.

Just laugh it off and hope it becomes a family legend; like the pineapple cake I made so carefully. I had just put it in the preheated oven and switched on the timer, then I turned round to see the sieve of chopped pineapple still draining in the sink!! facepalm