Help me! Baby Driving me to more drink!

[charliesmummy]

My ds is 13 months old, and up until a month ago he would eat anything; homemade chicken casserole, cottage pie, soup, sandwiches, pasta, etc etc, and THEN he started to just refuse all his favourites, he will eat EVERYTHING when his childminder gives it to him, including all the above foods, but in general he only sees her about 2 days a week, so thats 5 days with tantrums and throwing food!, I have even resorted to Chicken Nuggets and Chips (yes I am that desperate) and he refused them this evening. God knows I try so hard to smile when he refuses, but I am worried he weighs 24lbs at he moment. He eats a full breakfast; Weetabix, Bananna and half a pint of cows full fat milk, and a slice of toast, however, when he is with me the rest of the day spirals into nothing. Does this end, when? How did anyone else cope with this? I would so appreciate your help DH is away for a week and here I am - on my own. I am sure that this has been covered extensively before, but humour me!

Charliesmummy, its just a phase...its just a phase...don't go down the chips route (if you don't really want to), try not to make a special effort (so as you don't feel cross when he refuse food) and just try and weather it out. If he's eating for your childminder he clearly doesnt have a problem, he's just pushing the boundaries. Try and make sure he's not drinking too much juice (!) and not snacking, put the plate of food in front of him and remove it if he won't eat. Or you could try and make a plate of food and sit and eat it in front of him, offering him some from your plate. This always works with my curious and basically greedy daughter.

Also spaghetti encouraged my daughter to eat again after a lean period - I used to give her penne and easy shapes but gave her spaghetti for the novelty and it worked (messily)!

There is another thread about this, and most people (including me) seemed to be saying that a lot of children go through a phase like this when they hit 1 (ish). My eldest dd suddenly stopped eating all the things that she had no problem with the week before. At first, I was cooking 4 meals for her at each "session", and it was getting ridiculous. Eventually, I decided to take the advice that everyone gives, and believe that she wouldn't starve herself. I cooked things that I thought there was a reasonable chance that she would like, and if she didn't eat it - tough! She's now 5, and actually a good eater, although it's taken me a while to realise, as in my mind I'd decided she was "fussy". So, persevere with offering things you think he will like, and believe me, it will pass.

I think around a year is when babies become aware of the differences in taste, texture, colour etc and start refusing what they have happily eaten up until then. They also discover that they have some power over you by refusing to eat and it all adds to the fun. Enid is spot on with her tips, though it is hard to resist the temptation to offer 365 different foods at each meal. Good luck.

Charliesmummy it will pass, honestly! Just a quick thought to add to the good advice here: if your son is still OK about eating Weetabix, you could offer him a little for supper, unsweetened with grated cheese mixed in. Yukky to think of, but not for a 1 year old! When my son shows signs of fussyness, I tend to go right back to the foods he feels happy with, and adapt them like this to get him to accept to other flavours again.

Charliesmummy, I think babies/toddlers do this just because they can. My ds used to eat absolutely everything and then started to refuse everything. Like you, I panicked and found myself cooking all sorts of things I wouldn't normally do (nuggets etc). I even got sufficiently worried to talk to the health visitor. She was a lovely, kind sensible woman and she reminded me that no toddler has EVER starved itself to death or even emaciation. She also told me that their growth rates slow considerably as they get older and that often they don't need to be shovelling down quite so much.
DS, is now 28 months and somedays he does eat very little. Fortunately, I know now that he'll be just fine & pick up again when he's ready.
Good luck.

Yeuuch!!! Tigermoth!! How, why, where did you discover weetabix and cheese?!

Anyone else heard of this, or have I missed out on something really good?

Charliesmummy-ditto to the general idea that its just a phase. My ds is 15months (weighs 21.5lbs so 24 sounds good to me) and goes through days of eating like a pig and then several where he just grazes. Its tempting to supplement his main meals with snacks in between because I'm convinced that he's not getting enough, but that then puts him off his next meal. Enid's "juice" suggestion rings familiar with me too, ds tends to carry his beaker around like a comfort blanket on some days and his appetite is definitely poor on those. He ate practically nothing y'day, but had a good b'fast and lunch today. Perhaps he's also trying to get a bit more independent, wanting to feed himself. If ds is being fussy, I often walk away to tidy up the kitchen, encouraging him to feed himself. After a few minutes of watching I'd go back and he'd be more than happy to take it off the spoon again. Finger foods were very popular at 13months too. Sausages (chippolatas) chicken nuggets, (nothing wrong with that I say) meatballs, pasta shapes etc. Dips like cream cheese or whizzed up avocado, also popular with chips (ok, oven fries, the thought of deep frying chips at home terrifies the life out of me). ds has only ever wanted home made food over jars, so I can't offer any shop bought alternatives, but I know only too well the frustration of slaving over a delicious meal to see it pushed away. Hang in there, it will definitely get better.

ems, when do you ever see my name on a cooking thread! Desperation made me discover it.

I remember reading (something, somewhere, whenever) that sometime after learning to walk toddlers become picky. The idea supporting this was that prior to that, everything they had eaten had been selected and provided by their mothers (do I have to add, or primary carer?).

Once they have mastered the art of wandering they stand a greater chance of eatening something that is not so good for them. Being picky means they tend back to food that is very familar so safer.

Doesn't respond directly to the original post but some responses have reminded me of this. It's one I have been storing in my mind for when the going gets rough.

Something else I've just remembered. You could try keeping a diary for a couple of weeks of everything your baby eats. It's important that you really do include everything - even a single crisp or the square of chocolate from the bar you're enjoying.

When you look back over the week, you'll probably find he's eaten more than you think and a wider variety, too. But if that isn't the case, then you have excellent evidence to back up your concerns with the HV.

I've had a tough time with feeding my daughter ending up in us being referred to dieticians and paediatricians as she was almost off the weight chart. The end result being, don't worry or fuss (MUCH easier said than done). I was doing 3 different meals for each mealtime and this is exhausting. As soon as I relaxed a little it got better. If they really don't want to eat at a mealtime then get them out of the highchair and at least think they may eat better at the next mealtime. Sometimes they do, sometimes not but I felt much better and didn't dread mealtimes so much.
At 13 months my daughter was 21lbs, she probably isn't 24lbs now at 19 months so I wouldn't worry.
One thing I was told was to cut down on milk as this can really curb their appetite. Half a pint at breakfast seems alot to me. They generally only need about 16 oz a day if they are eating dairy products like yogurts and cheese so maybe just giving 4oz after breakfast would be better - half a pint is 10oz, just sounds alot. Sounds like he eats a lot at breakfast, good healthy stuff so maybe this does keep him going for a long time.
Maybe try things like soup for lunch - quite light. Also, finger food like cucumber, tomatoes, cheese and ham is usually interesting to them, allows them to pick it up and play. I found if I turned my back and let my daughter 'get on with it' I would look later and she eaten loads, perhaps an independent streak??!
It will get better, good luck!

Damn computer - I posted and now I've lost it. Thank you for your advice I WILL CALM DOWN, it is hard when you have prepared food lovingly and I think that is about me and not him, I think its as you say a control thing. Interestingly my friend fed him in front of me today with the remains of what he refused yesterday. I thought about a food diary - so I will do that, and yes half a pint is quite a lot for breakfast but I (me me me) feel that if I get something down him to start then it won't be so bad, its a shame I don't remember that at midday!. Tomorrow I have invited half the village children to tea and we are having healthy pizza and chocolate custard with strawberries!!! so here goes! I know I expect too much - thank you mummy you are so good at cooking, Daddy and I are so lucky ......

Do you know that is exactly what I used to think - at least milk is giving her some goodness. I really do believe this does affect eating though - eg, last weekend we went to Paris and for some reason in France they just don't drink fresh milk. So, we were given oodles of UHT which my daughter would drink a small amount of. We were really set for another crap weekend of eating (usually a nightmare when away as her favourite food is not to hand) and, miracle, she ate reallllllly well - was it just the change or could it have been the reduced milk? Anyway, I'm trying to keep it down at home too and she is generally improving.
I too, lovingly prepared so many meals for her (learnt to hate bloody Karmel!!) and would sometimes be so upset at throwing another batch of food that took me an hour to prepare. Then I moved to preparing much easier, quicker meals and so if it wasn't eaten it was much easier to throw away. I do think things got better when I started just getting her out of her highchair when she didn't eat rather than start meal no. 2. I was given this advice for months before I started doing it, convinced she would get even more underweight but maybe I should have been more easy-going at the start. Believe me though, I know this is SO difficult to do and even now I can still get worked about once a week (but to encourage you I used to get worked up at least once a day as it was so bad, so it does get better!). It might ease your mind to go and get weighed by the HV as I know his weight will be well within normal.
I do feel so much for you. I hope things get better.

I've been down the quantities of milk route, too, even though I should have known better. In the end, I had to grit my teeth, reduce the quantities and give water instead. It worked almost immediately and DD began eating so much better. At 5, she still isn't a consistently good eater, but when it begins getting silly, I find she has been snacking far too much (there are four adults here, so she can usually weedle something out of someone!) and I have to bring in a blanket ban on snacks.

I haven't cooked much specifically for my littlies, partly because I don't like cooking and partly because with older children to be fed as well I didn't have the time. But I found it easy enough to keep something back from our own meal and give it the next day.

My son was just under 20lbs at a year old. Even now at age 2 1/2 he is only 13 kilos (just under 29 lbs). He didn't really start eating properly till he was 18 months when he really grew well (in height that is not in girth). I always assumed that he was getting the extra he needed from b/feeding. I am sure your son is OK and he would eat if he was hungry. 13 months is still quite young and I think we worry to much about food in babies in general. Apparently about 100 years ago they didn't use to introduce solids till age 9 months!

Eulalia, you've just made me feel better. My daughter is just over 18 months and I think she's only now starting to eat quite well and I too wished I hadn't worried about it sooooo much. She is on the very small size, height wise, so reading your message now I'm hope she will start having a growth spurt soon! For someone so small and slim I'm constantly wondering where the hell she gets all her energy, literally doesn't sit still for 5 mins but it's always made me think she must be fit and well.
Thanks again.

Janus - yes my boy is the same. Ironic isn't it that the ones who appear to eat less actaully have more energy. I was always considering patenting my breastmilk and donating it to NASA to use for rocket fuel as it seemed to give him so much energy.

As you say it shows she is fit if she has energy and with all the concerns of childhood obesity around I am sure she will be fine.

My youngest is a minimal eater/maximum energy soul, too. It's hard work.

For info for info for info ...... excited mad bitch from hell that I am - 5 oz on the breakfast with toast etc and water, now thats a slight reduction in milk, all morning lunch has been looming on my mind (it used to be a new pair of boots/shoes in LK Bennett - how times have changed) anyway soup, then I made him wait for his sandwich, and then I made him wait for some fruit, normally I have it all on display on the counter top, but there was nothing to be seen so who knows, but better, and now I don't give a flying f* fig what he has for tea, I will try the less milk route tomorrow. I just can't believe that I knew all this (I did honest) its just the milk thing - we or I rather got into the have milk if nothing else.

I will keep you all posted, Bron - loved the Chiken Nugget Hell ref!

That's a fantastic result - mine has hardly ever eaten that much in a whole day!!!! Well done, it does make you feel great doesn't it?
What soup did you give (or do you make your own?) - I'm trying out a few on mine with varied results so if yours was so successful I'd love to know what it was.
Well done!

Janus - his favourite soup is sweetcorn and potato
with carrot, but it is really mushy and runny, just the usual, sweat onions add potato, sweetcorn and carrots and milk and water but mostly water, a little white pepper no salt, I make pots of it and freeze it. I hope it works for you. As of last week I made cottage pie which he did like - now loathes, and veg soup just plain loathes!!, I say that because even his childminder cannot get it into him and she never fails!

The sweetcorn soup was a planet organix stolen recipe, so try your dd with the jar before you enter into the chopping and measuring route! good luck. I have also had some success with healthy pizza, eg bought base and added veg and cheese. GOOD LUCK