Stressed out over Fussy Eater

[ARGHmum]

Hi, my little girl is 14 months, and for a a couple of months now she has become pretty fussy with eating. SHE DOES EAT, just not healthy stuff I want her too and only after I've made her an alternative.
She won't eat a veg as it is whether cooked or raw, so I used to be able to hide veg in the food I spoon fed, be it bolognaise, fish pie, things like that. But now she doesn't let me spoon feed her anything unless porridge or fruit yogurt.

She will eat chicken, fish if I cook it the right way she likes.
I do always offer her veg, put it all there, but it never gets eaten, she does put things in the mouth but always spits them out again. Won't eat potato anymore :(

i know I can hide veg in finger foods, but she doesn't go for much of those either. The only guaranteed thing is an omelette with veg an cheese. (She won't eat cheese as it is either, only mixed into omelette.

Very occasionally she'll suddenly let me give her pasta with hidden veg sauce.

So many days she won't eat any veg at all.

I'm stressing myself out making 3 meals each meal time. Always end up giving her toast with cream cheese or peanut butter. Followed by fruit.

Am I worrying too much?
Any suggestions for fingerfoods I can hide veg in?
Just tell me she will not grow stunted and her IQ won't be affected because she won't eat veg! (irrational anxious mum coming out)

popular thought is not to stress, as the kids are actually doing this to get your attention. Don't offer an alternative as that also gives them too much power.

we always eat as a family - so they kids saw us eating the food too. rule here is that if you don't eat most of your main course you can't be hungry, so no desert and food is left there so they can eat later if they change their minds. not sure if she is too young for this.

fruit yogurt is very sweet and should be a desert not main food. hiding veg doesn't sound like a long term solution.

i had boys, and if they realised there was no alternative they would eat whats given as they got hungry.

is she filling out on liquid or something before meal times....as i seem to remember mine used to pig out on fruit and then refuse dinner

good luck. some people on here will say don't worry about not eating veg - but teaching kids to eat properly is surely important?

She's fussy because of her age.

Firstly chill out, if you're really worried then give her a multivitamin (abidec do a liquid one for tinies). Nothing terrible is going to happen. Most toddlers survive on a restricted diet.

Secondly make her meals a mixture of stuff she will eat and something she doesn't. Keep presenting her with veg and other stuff you want her to eat. However if there is something she will eat then she won't starve, and don't give an alternative. But I would give a small pudding.

Don't fuss when she is eating and don't encourage/beg her to eat. Your job is to provide the food and hers to eat it. You can't make her and making a big deal of it makes the situation worse. Any attention (positive or negative) makes it more appealing for her not to eat as she will get rewarded with your attention.

Give easy lunches she will eat to also cut down on meal time stress.

It'll pass eventually as long as you don't make a big deal of it.

Agree that eating as a family and eating the same food makes a big difference.

I'd agree on the not offering something else, keep offering the same as everyone else but I'd make sure there's usually one thing she likes. She'll probably surprise you and suddenly start eating the other stuff when the pressures off. And most likely stop eating the stuff she currently likes....
My DD was only just sleeping through at that point, but I know a while after when she was she went to bed with next to no food eaten and slept just fine, so that stopped me worrying so much!

I would cut out the toast, as she's learning that if she rejects her main course she gets given a better alternative.

I don't offer alternatives. After ds always eating ravenously he went through a phase of rejecting food, very annoying especially if it was something he'd eaten fine the week before. I figured in the end he just wasn't always hungry. Sometimes cos he'd filled up on liquid before dinner (so I tried to limit that), othertimes maybe he just didn't need it. If he was 'all done' then fine dinner was over and sometimes he didn't really eat dinner. He never complained of being hungry nor did he seem to wake up any hungrier than usual so I figured his appetite is somewhat waning. He seems to be less fussy now (at 22 mo) but still sometimes just doesn't seem to want dinner.

A belated thanks for the replies!
She still won't eat veggies that look like veggies (i still give them, aswell as 'hiding' them in things like omelettes) but she's doing better with everything else. And let's me spoon feed her the sloppier stuff also so not as worried now.

And you are right she has still slept through even if she didn't eat much!

I've realised she tends to go for the stuff I've made fresh and raspberries the stuff I've defrosted. So she's putting me to work!

Thanks again
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