For those in need of a good laugh...

[Tailtwister]

...at my expense.

I've just had my first attempt at spatchcocking a chicken and was quite pleased. That was until I realised I had cut out the breast bone rather than the backbone. Must read the instructions more carefully next time!

Christmas dinner duck nearly popped into the oven with bag of giblets inside(as I make stuffing separately wrapped in bacon).

Peas drained over the sink with the sieve upside down.

Strained stock over the sink-left with sad remains of chicken carcass and bay leaf on the sieve.

Can't think about anything else at the moment.

DH started out chicken yesterday while I was out. Since I was otherwise occupied with DD, I asked him to cut it up.
He was moaning about how small the breasts were. He then found out he'd managed to cook it upside down.

'He was moaning about how small the breasts were. He then found out he'd managed to cook it upside down'

Oh bless!

I once served up roast beef complete with that panty-liner thing from the bottom of the tray....

my dad nearly choked on the "teabag" in the stew - forgot to take out bouquet garni....

The first time I ever tried to cook a 'proper' dinner, was for my housemate (an excellent cook) and me. I used a Jamie Oliver recipe for posh sausage and mash.

Disaster No. 1: The sausages called for rosemary sprigs to be poked into them. I duly poked them in, but used the twig part instead of the leaves.
Result: sausages with inedible crunchy woody twigs running through them.

Disaster No. 2: The mash. Jamie specified a precise quantity of potatoes and a precise quantity of milk. But the recipe was for 6, and there were only two of us, so I just guesstimated the potatoes to use about a quarter of the amount. Then proceeded to add the full amount of milk for 6.
Result: potato-milk soup.

Made lemon tart on Sunday as well as a huge 2 meat roast (MIL has been to Asia for 4 months, just got back craving roast so went all out) everything in oven and was just tidying up a bit and kind the lemon squeezer full of juice!