Nearly 10 month old difficult to feed - is this normal???

[ntt]

Hi, my ds seems to hate eating, maybe it's my cooking lol, just wanted to know if this sounds familiar to any of you so I can stop worrying (about this anyway).

9 times out of 10 when I feed him his mushy stuff by spoon, he whinges and cries (no tears though) all the way through. I have two main techniques to get the food into him - I pop the food in whilst he's mid cry, or I hold the rim of the bowl up to his mouth which makes him open his mouth so I can shovel a bit in. With nearly every mouthful he'll push some of it out with his tongue.

Obviously I hate to feed him when he's like this, but I have to get food into him somehow. He isn't able to finger feed because he has ataxia (difficulty grasping). I try amusing him which does help a bit, but I find it exhausting and I'm beginning to dread mealtimes. i don't let him know this of course as I don't want to add to his anxiety. Dp is totally incapable of feeding him, so all mealtimes (4 a day) are up to me.

Should I not try too hard and let him get hungrier? I feed him stuff I'd eat, just more mushed, (not pureed though, he can handle lumps) he won't eat jars.

Any tips?

Aaargh its tea time!!

what times are you feeding him, ie not to close to his bottles or snacks (dd has her bottle at 6.30am but i give her brekkie around 8ish so i know that way she will eat it), also look at his naps coz i know when my dd is tired she often refuses her meals. sorry i can't offer any more advice other than look closely at your routine during the day (maybe i have this to come as dd is almost 10mth eek )

i sing to dd when i feed her and that helps at times

Oh that sounds so familiar with MJ and now he is 3 years and still can not be bothered with food, We spent hours entertaining him at mealtimes and distracting him with TV, songs, musical instruments etc whilst being armed with a spoon waiting to pop it in his mouth as soon as it opened. I genuinely believe some kids like to eat and some don't! He has got better as he has got older though but it is still always a lot of hassle - he eats enough to get by and is happy and healthy. The important thing is not to get too obsessed and upset about it as long as his weight is OK..

Years ago, I read a very interesting article about why baby or children refuse or don't enjoy eating... they don't know first what we are feeding them, and it is apparently very important to sit with them and eat the similar food... so in their little mind they think, if mummy or daddy touch it, I should be oka natural instinct apparently! Since weaning our DD, and remembering that article, me or DH before feeding her, we always take a mouth full of her food in front of her and always stay very positive about it(and then it is up to her if she is hungry of not, everydays are different..) Good luck ntt, and I hope your DS had some of his food today...

my daughter is nine months and pretty much the same.

She basically waves her arms to prevent us feeding her from the spoon. She much prefers to eat bread as finger food and will reject the spoon food if there's bread available.

I have two ways around this: Either give her a set of keys, which totally distracts her and then she'll eat, or give her an item from a bag that I keep in the bread bin. It's basically a bag of odds and ends but things that have novelty value. I can feed her no problem while she explores them.

I never have any problem giving her weetabix, cauliflower cheese or puddings though, so I guess she has a sweet tooth.

Agree re the naps thing - she totally refuses food if she's tired

ntt, before one year of age, I don't think it is important for solids to form a big part of their diet. Milk can still be the main source of nourishment. Food is for developing tastebuds. My dd was a very fussy eater from the word go. No amount of distraction or eating with her or shifting meals/milk times made any difference. no meant no. So I just took her word for it. I don't believe in forcing where food is concerned. If weight gain is fine, I wouldn't worry hth

The one thing that did make a difference was nursery. Seeing other children eat in a group setting made dd toe the line. I can never get her to eat the same foods she happily eats seconds of in nursery.

My DS who is the same age will only open his mouth if he's holding a spoon or a rice cake. Then he'll eat loads!

Agree that it would be worth looking at routine to see if he's over tired. Also does he need 4 feeds? DS has breakfast at 7.30, lunch at 11.45, tea at 5. Also has fruit at 3 if he wants.

You must be exhausted - good luck!

Thanks for all the replies! Thank goodness it seems pretty normal!!
Yep, fitting feeding in around physio, stories, play and shopping etc is pretty full on I have to say lol! This is a typical day:
Bottle at 7am (150-200ml)
Brekkie about 8am (prune and pear with porridge "smoothie" which he drinks from a beaker)
10am nap (wake him up after 1.5 hours)
11.30 bottle (100-150ml)
12.30-1pm lunch (mashed potato or couscous with cheese or salmon and veggies with creme fresh or mayo)
4pm nap (wake him up after 1.5 hours)
5.30 bottle (60-80 mls)
6-7pm dinner (similar to lunch, but usually add something like hommous for a bit of extra flavour)
7.30-8pm supper - same as brekkie and 60-80ml bottle.
8.15- 8.30 bed
lunch and dinner (lunch especially) take forever - often an hour.
His weight seems ok, I don't get him weighed anymore, but he seems to be ok. I do eat a bit of it in front of him, which grabs his attention a tiny bit. He tries to push my hand away all the time - I'll try the keys thing. He used to love Weetabix in a morning, he'd open his mouth until it had all gone, but now has about 2 mouthfuls and no more!!
Blueshoes, I wish I was brave enough to not force him a bit with food - I had a devil of a job getting him to drink enough milk when he was tiny, he was very refluxy so I weaned him at 4 months, it was the only way to get him to put on weight, so while in principal I'm not averse to him having milk as his main source of food, I'm just worried that he'll go back to his old ways.
Chocolateshoes - Ds will eat a few mouthfuls if he's holding onto the spoon, but soon gets wise to this particular ploy! I skipped supper tonight as he did ok at dinner and was so tired so we'll see. I'm sure he'll wake up tonight though......