Fussy children - any ideas? Getting a bit desperate!

[stringbean]

Can anyone offer any suggestions as to how to get two fussy children (aged 4.5 and 18 months) to eat? When I weaned them both I introduced lots of different types of foods, and they both enjoyed them, but both became increasingly fussy from the age of about 15 months. Ds (4.5) is still really fussy, and dd is starting to go the same way. For example, I have just served up fish pie for lunch (with the same potato/leek topping I put on shepherd's pie - which they'll both eat quite happily - and the same cheese sauce I put in a broccoli & pasta dish - again they both like this) and neither of them touched it. I cook a main meal at lunchtime on the days I don't work, so we eat together, and they eat at nursery on the days I work (although dd usually eats all her food, ds rarely does). At weekends we try and eat a meal together in the early evening, and always have lunch together. Neither dh or I are fussy eaters.

I'm just getting so exasperated with their refusal to try anything new. I suppose it's partly an effort thing too - I don't like to eat convenience food, so I don't serve it to my children, and it's hard not to take it personally when a meal that may have taken some considerable effort is left untouched. Ds regards food as fuel - he's fairly skinny, but does have lots of energy, and dd will probably be the same. Trouble is, it's embarrassing when we go to anyone's house as neither of them will eat, and it stops me taking them out to restaurants or anything too, as it's a complete waste of money.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? What did you do? Any suggestions gratefully received, becuause I really feel like I'm starting to lose it where food is concerned.

Cook
Give it to them
If they refuse,take it away with no fuss and no alternatives

Repeat

All there is to it.

Moondog is right.

They do go through a fussy phase, although DD2 so far has not, but just offer them what you've made, if they leave it then so be it.

Different if it is something they really don't like.

DD1 was fussy, much better now, and we once told her that we couldn't stay for supper at a friend's because she wouldn't even try what they were eating.

I know it really gets to you when they turn your noses up at something you've slaved over (I HATE cooking esp. cooking meat or fish as am a vegetarian) but Moondog's right. Avoid anything they really don't like but apart from that, cook, serve, if they don't eat, remove. As calmly as possible. Quiet but stubborn is the way to go! (Admittedly, I have just 'encouraged' ds to eat up his lunch by pretending to nick spoonfuls myself...).

Moondog, the thing is, this is what I do. They got offered nothing after lunch, and we've been at a friend's house this afternoon and I refused to allow them biscuits (when all their friends were having them), and I'm happy to do this. It doesn't seem to make much difference..... They're eating tea now - sandwiches - and I can guarantee they'll eat these, but when it comes to cooked meals, it all goes pear-shaped. It's really getting me down!

sringbean, I have lots of sympathy as my DS seems to be heading the same way (he's 3). He just seems to forget meals so quickly if you know what I mean, if we don't have something for a week he will reject it the next time.

I try lots of things to encourage him when it's in front of him - saying it is snails and worms (conchilli pasta and green beans) worked a treat yesterday. When he asks for more tomato sauce I say he can have some if he eats a carrot and a green bean, which he usually does (even if some of it comes out again I still think he is getting the taste and texture so I don't make a fuss).

Basically I encourage him to my utmost, but if he still won't eat then that's it - as others have said, there's nothing else on offer. I'm sure this approach will work in the long term. He can't be allowed to dictate what the family eats - he's only three, he doesn't know about nutrition. I just keep this thought in my head and keep on (even though he is thin enough and I worry about his weight - he's on a healthy centile and not losing so I'll stick with it).

Best of luck.

I've found, once they're 3 or so, you can bargain with them. Offer lots of little bits, and say, you can have more of whatever you want, once you've tried everything. And you can offer dessert (fruit, yogurt, whatever) if they have a reasonable amount of the first course.

Keep serving sizes small, and offer more if they like stuff.

Watch out for things like sweets and juice that can fill them up.

And be aware, they don't really need to eat that much, particularly after 15 months or so.