2.5 DS - At my wits end how to get him to eat.

[wools]

I'm not sure whether I'm really in the right area for posting this but here goes. My eldest ds 2.5 has never got on with food at all. When I was weaning him it wasn't too bad but once he got to 8 months things got worse.
He doesn't really eat anything at all apart from yoghurts/fromage frais. He will occasionally eat little sausages, a dry cracker or piece of toast with butter...but he just picks and doesn't eat anything with enjoyment.
Even the things that other children love, like ice-cream, chips, chicken nuggets, fish fingers - he will not touch so you can imagine what he does with things like mashed potatoes, vegetables, spaghetti bolognese, roast dinners etc. He goes to nursery 1 day a week and he doesn't touch the food there either. So watching other children does not encourage him in the slightest. I am amazed that he is still thriving although he has not put on any weight in well over 12 months. I have tried all the usual suggestions like cutting down on milk and juice. I have tried starving him into eating decent food....i.e not offering anything other than what's on the table. He doesn't seem to care and is very happy to starve. The reason I'm posting this is that I feel I have tried everything, sticker charts, buying new bowls and cutlery, feeding him at he table with the family and on his own in a relaxed envirnoment, denying him things he enjoys e.g tv, toy cars. I've come to accept that he eats like a bird and wonder if anyone has ever had a similar situation and been able to turn it round. I think if I don't act now - it will be too late. Please, please somebody help.

have you tried putting him in charge. Make an area where he has food that he and you agree on - and tell him he can eat from that when he wants to - although you would prefer him to eat with the rest of you if possible.

Don't just let him choose junk. Go shopping together to get the food stock - make suggestions and discuss and tell him why if there is something you don't want included.

Try a bit of everything - eg my 3 year doesn't like fresh fruit and veg much but loves dates and figs (I hate them !).

Worth a try at least - since you have tried most other things.

And sorry if you've already tried this, but what about making a pizza with him and letting him choose the toppings..?

Wools, you are describing my DS at that age, he lived out of air until recently, however, what concerns me is you saying " I am amazed that he is still thriving although he has not put on any weight in well over 12 months" If he has not put any weight, sorry to say this, he is NOT thriving, and should be refered to dietitian advise ASAP.

DS was very bad with foods, good at the beginning of weaning but a few months afterwards it all went down to very little things. I have tried everything and nothing really made a difference. I went away for a week and DH was in charge, he said he didn't offer any alternative to what he had cooked for themselves and... now he eats loads of things both in terms of variety and quantity . Probably the only thing DS needed was to realise that he was not to have what he shouldn't not matter how hard he tried.

Truth is, they won't starve themselves to death, if he misses one, two or even three meals, he will start trying new things (as long as they are foods apropiate for his age and sure, there would be things that he wouldn't like anyway, but I insist that at least he try a spoon or two). It sounds harsh but it works with hard cases, DS could do baking and help with the cooking, he puts the thing in the trolley at the super market, didn't respond to peer pressure, and seemed not to mind to starve... he only needed to get hungry enough I'm afraid, and to realise that he was not getting his way. HTH

No real advice but lots of empathy - my 2 yr old ds is just like this. He doesn't eat much at the best of times but goes right off his food if he gets ill (even just a cold). My other ds is also a fussy eater but at least I know he will eat certain things even if his diet is limited.

The only think I have found that makes the slightest difference with my youngest ds is when the older ones have a friend around to tea - he seems to join in with the eating a bit more then.

Hope we both get some more advice on this thread!

Wools I've replied on your other thread :)

have you tried telling him if he eats a bite of sausage or whatever, he can have a spoon of yoghurt? I've seen this approach with the fussy eaters on Tanya Byron's programme!

Only other thing that springs to mind is that if he hasn't lost weight over the last year he is eating enough to keep body and soul together, so try not to worry. Easier said than done, I know. But I honestly think the best thing you can do for him is keep trying things, but with a relaxed and happy heart...because he will pick up on stress round mealtimes sooo quickly. And don't focus on it more than you focus on other things he does, so that it becomes a good way of getting attention from you...

I know you've probably tried variations on this but how about-

-letting him make food with you (cheese straws, muffins, cheese on toast, sandwiches). If hes sprinkling on cheese toppings and stirring things he might not be able to resist the temptation to pop a bit in his mouth.Then he also has the appeal that hes "made" it.

-eating in different places. Have a snack in a pop-up tent or den that you've built together out of sheets over the table, go to a cafe together or , when the weathers warmer, picnics.

Have you seen any of the House of Tiny Tearaways with children with eating problems -I'm sure they've had some on there but can't remember what she advises other than lots of praise when they try even the tiniest amount of food

Sparklemagic, if a child this age has not gained weight in a year it is more worrying than when this happens with an older child. I would seek professional help if the trends continues. Or at least that what DS paediatrician and dietists have told us. :)

good point chandra. I hope the peads and dieticians get involved here then. What are their strategies to make him gain weight do you know?

To start with, they will try to help you sort a balanced diet for the kid, which is a good starting point when deciding which foods to reintroduce first and in which order. A GP can refer you to a paediatric dietitian or, you can arrange for one privately (they will need to see the GP records and add their views to them though)

\link{http://www.asda-greatstuff.co.uk/pages/healthy.html\5 a day chart and good tips here}

I have the same problem, dd1 can be a pain and dd2 is just starting to be one. Mealtimes are my pet hate, detest it. BUT I have been told to keep trying as it does change.

xx

havent read thread but friends ds only eats honey sandwiches and is same age. always been an issue, she just feeds him that in desperation. my bro was same andd says it's cos he's too lazye and hated chewing.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I will definately give them a try....

That sounds a good idea Throckenholt about an area and food we agree on.

Feistybird - yes you're right, we've tried the pizza idea but maybe it's worth another go.

Chandra, I hear what you're saying about him not putting on weight. I guess what I meant was he has bags of energy and is a happy, content little boy....although clearly it's far from an ideal situation. He has for the last 18 months been under the supervision of a speech therapist (hv was worried when he was much younger and wouldn't eat lumps - it would go on to affect his speech.) The speech therapist (who I know works closely with dieticians) doesn't seem to think he's serious enough to warrant a dietician, mind you that's just one individual's interpretation and this could well be the way to go.
We already do the cooking thing but will try letting him help with the shopping as well.

Thanks for your reassurance sparklemagic - I've tried to tell myself that it's good that he's at least not losing weight. I will try not to stress so much about it.

Thanks everyone, lots of good advice - will let you know how I get on.

Try not to worry too much. At around 2.5 toddlers growth slows a bit so they dont eat as much. They also have very small stomachs so need very little to fill them up. If he is not losing weight and looks healthy he probably is so try not to get stressed. My nutrition professor said that it was always amazing that people could live on almost anything and not get malnourished providing there was enought of whatever it was to eat. We had a toddler who wouldnt eat anything but spreaddy cheese. Now at 7 he will happily try new food in resturants. All we did was keep offering things to try and not get stressed - difficult I know. If you havent read it Christopher Greens toddler Taming is very good advice on eating - and quite funny too!!

Has he slimmed down dramatically?
Some toddlers start to lose their chubbiness, so could account for not gaining weight.

How long did you "starve" him for?

DD1 was a terrible eater, like you, even at nursery she would refuse. But she alwys ate fruit and peas and bread.

I think the important thinds are that he has energy; that you only offer him food that is nutritious in some way; that you don't beat yourself up about it.

How about a plate of little bits, like grapes, raisins, banana, breadsticks/crackers and bits of cgeese?

Elastamum - Lol at spready cheese. This sounds like my ds...can't understand how they don't get bored. You're right....best not to stress - he'll come round eventually. I have read Toddler Taming - I think it's a great book and Dr Christopher Green does put it all into perspective.

Littlerach, yes he has lost all his baby chubbiness and is thin but still looks very healthy if you know what I mean. Like the idea of a plate of bits and pieces of healthy stuff...surely some of it will go down.
Re the starving thing - I would let him go all day without food but then send him to bed with his milk....get halfway through the next day - go into a wild panic about him not eating and then succumb and give him a yoghurt for tea - how hopeless am I?

make a food diary of food offered and food eaten, for at least three days.
You will either find out that he is eating more than you think. Or that he is not, take it to your Gp and get his/her opinon.

good luck
sarah

yes i think mum of honey sandwich eater doesn't notice what he does eat. Also she gives him much more than i'd expect dd (same age) to eat - think it sets you up for a fall.

dd mostly has pasta and is at the bottom of her centile chart, had failure to thrive at early age and is allergic to dairy and previously egg. Much fussier now than used to be and we struggle to get her to put on weight.

We have seen dietician since failure to thrive at 4m and is now just 3yrs. Generally they tell me to put hidden fat into things so loads of casseroles and cooked breakfast every day, I am actively encouraged to give her the sort ofthing jamie o would be shocked by!! crisps are great and hula hoops have just brought out salt free ones (liek salt and shake).

Think diary will help but as long as not losing weight then fine. Think dd put on 100g in betw dietician visits (4 months) and they were not concerned as line slows down a lot. hth

My ds is the same age as yours and similarly rubbish with food. I try not to let it get to me but it has recently started to become depressing - everything I cook seems to go straight into the bin (or rather, ds takes one look at the plate, and then shouts 'Bin!', would you believe? ). Bribery/persuasion/threats all fall on deaf ears.

I wholeheartedly agree with littlerach - the best way to go for us has been to offer 'picnic suppers' - lots of little bits and pieces of nutritious but yummy stuff. Even then it's hit and miss as to what he will eat but at least I know he'll have something. Thankfully he is quite a big fruit/bread/yoghurt eater, but anything else, no chance. It's got to the stage where I would be quite happy to see him demolish a plate of fish fingers and chips...

No harm in having him checked out at the docs but try not to worry too much. Keep in mind that there are worse diets than toast and yoghurt

Another one with a bad eater here!

ds was a very good eater until he got to 15 months and it was downhill from there - he's now 2.1. However unlike your ds Wools, mine is still pretty chubby!

He goes through phases of weeks of living off a few mouthfuls of food and then he will eat quite well for a week or 2. He's so unpredictable.

And unfortunately I can't follow some of the suggestions here as he has NO concept of consequences and also has limited language.

Sorry no advice but loads of symapthy

Oh yes, forgot to say 'picnic suppers' as others have mentioned usually works for ds. Little bits of ham, bagel, olives, cherry tomatoes etc

Thanks everyone for posting - I really appreciate it.

Snafu - my ds used to shout "bin" as well - it is so demoralising isn't it? The picnic suppers seem to be the way to go so will definately try that. I know what you mean about being happy to see him demolish a plate of fish fingers and chips - I'd give my right arm for it.

I'll start the food diary tomorrow - thanks to those who suggested it

i haven't read the whgole thread so apologies if i repeat. My ds1 has prolonged periods of this. What i find is helpful is to keep a food diary. I write down every little thing that he eats AND drinks (juice is more filling than you think).

I rememeber watching a baby whisperer prog when i was preg and she gave the mothr on that a visual demo of the size of a childs stomach using a clear bag and smushing up a load of food. You need surprisingly little to fill them up.

I would however b concerned if it was as prolonged as ur case seems to be and i would seek further help personally,

Thanks mumofmonsters...I've just started a food diary today and ds has now been referred to a dietician to see what he/she thinks.

Hi mums, have been weaning ds nearly 7 months for three weeks now and have a question about sweet/savoury foods. I've been offering 2 cubes of veg followed by fruit and yoghurt, ds is fussy when it comes to veg but will eat parsnip and carrot - max two cubes but will then eat nearly a whole banana, should I be offering sweet afterwards- will he soon learn to refuse savoury all together? - please help as want to nip a possible prob in the bud!