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Original poster

I've had an epiphany - cooking varied meals from scratch does not a good mother make...

156 replies

handlemecarefully · 16/03/2006 22:40

I really make the effort with my lo's nutrition. Cook from scratch, varied menu etc. But it takes so much frigging time up - even simple meals from the Dinner Lady cookbook or Ainsley Harriot's 'Meals in Minutes'; there is still chopping and peeling and washing of pans etc.

With an absentee husband (working all hours), two preschoolers, a puppy and 3 chickens to look after it's too much. I feel shackled to the kitchen and find myself snapping at the children and telling them to bog off because I am busy clearing up the post meal carnage.

Yesterday however I was visibly relaxed because Dh was going to be home early (18.00) and suggested bringing home fish and chips. I had time and energy for the children.

Whilst I am not going to go down the turkey twizzler route , I shall be introducing far more fishfinger and (good quality) sausage type quick meals.

I'm also going to cook only a limited repertoire of a few meals from scratch and keep repeating these(so that I become lightning fast at doing these)...I remember suggesting doing this before on here and someone counselled me not to as I would be stultifying my children's 'nutritional' development...however I reckon that's bunkum. I ate only processed peas as a child (eschewing all veggies) and favoured Bernard Matthews turkey burgers - but now have a very refined and adventurous palate.

Have you heard that expression "No one on their death beds regrets that they didn't spend more time in the office" ? I reckon that applies to the kitchen too.

My children won't remember the meals I cooked - just a mother who never had time to play with them. So hang the fecking food fascism. They will be getting healthy food (all the food groups represented) but it will be low effort and simple from now on. And they will have an unstressed mother who will play with them!!!!

OP posts:

cod · 17/03/2006 10:38

lol
hmc you are a poof

Blackduck · 17/03/2006 10:42

So no problem with things like fish fingers and sausages as long as you buy good quality. Hate fish fingers that are made of fish mush (yuck!). Ds loves things like this....otherwise I go for quick meals (stir fry etc...) and then freeze stuff too...

expatinscotland · 17/03/2006 10:46

don't forget the old standby - beans on toast w/cheese melted on top in the grill.

Issymum · 17/03/2006 10:47

I'm with you on this HMC. I really don't enjoy cooking anymore. I seem to remember that I used to, but that was pre-children. I'm a full-time WOHM and have managed to wangle it that our nanny cooks one big meal in the evening for the kids, us and her and her partner (eaten separately). She doesn't really like cooking either, in fact I don't think she is interested in food at all. So we've had to work quite hard with her to make it manageable. She has a basic repertoire of about 8 dishes that she has learned to cook quickly and well. We have focussed on 'one pot' cooking - great for the winter - so she'll make lamb hotpot or lasagne (bit fiddly in my opinion), a bean and bacon soup or chicken casserole. If she makes something like a beef casserole or bean soup, she serves it with crusty bread and salad rather than potatoes and vegetables. Friday night is something from the M&S 'Just Cook' range for us. If I'm feeling indolent, I use it for the kids and us at the weekends too (no additives, flavourings etc.).

Staples for us at the weekend include smoked mackerel, roast peppers (halve, de-seed, chuck in a few halved baby tomatoes and olive oil, cook) and one of the Gary Rhodes packet bread mixes (the DDs help with this). Roast chicken is surprisingly simple as long as you don't go overboard on making gravy etc. The children hate chicken nuggets and fish fingers (sigh) but they will eat any pasta combination.

My mother is a horrible cook. Awful, but she did cook standard all the food groups 1970s food. I had an extremely happy childhood, I and my siblings are slim, adventurous eaters and eat extremely well and my brother is a dazzling cook.

canadianmum · 17/03/2006 10:51

I cook from scratch at the weekend when dh is around to look after my ds's. Bolognese, tomato sauce, beef casserole etc... then freeze loads. This way I don't feel guilty about the occasional "freezer meal" in the week!! :0

We also go out for dinner with the boys once a week, it is heaven not to have to cook and wash up on a saturday or sunday night......let pizza express do it for you! :)

Raggydoll · 17/03/2006 10:56

i hate being in the kitchen - i like stuff that takes about 10 mins to prepare then you just bung it in the oven 'till the timer goes off - like roast chicken with all the veg around the sides.

mind you doesn't help that dh doesn't seem particulary keen on my cooking - dh and i like it so the jury's still out on my cooking ability

Raggydoll · 17/03/2006 10:57

sorry meant ds doesn't like cooking - dh does (or is too frightened to say any diff anyway!)

Kathy1972 · 17/03/2006 11:00

This is a very sensible thread.

The bar is set so high these days - sometimes it feels like not only do you have to cook fresh, delicious, meals from scratch to be a good mother, but they have to be endlessly varied and arranged on the plate in the shape of a bloody smily face.

My mother had a narrow repertoire of stuff the family liked, and we all did very well on it.

tallmummy · 17/03/2006 11:01

I'm like you iota - some days I get all inspired and cook extravagant stews and chicken dishes other days its a bit of pasta with a tin of tuna and a tin of sweetcorn stirred in. I can't bare the washing up. Four kids and no dishwasher!! Dh really anti them. Anyone else in this boat? Any tips to win him round. I stuck a picture of the one I want in the perfect spot in the kitchen and told him I'd have to buy it with three months worth of child benefit! I later caught him measuring up the kitchen units . He's lovely really just strong enviornmental views which I do respect but dishwashers are more efficent nowadays are they not. Come on ladies back me up. I need more positive dishwasher winning points.

Sorry to have gone off the thread a little here btw

blueshoes · 17/03/2006 11:02

hmc, I wouldn't bother cooking meals from scratch for pre-schoolers . Dd does not understand the meaning of food, the savage. Bring on the sausages and fishfingers!

But dh and I enjoy cooking from scratch. Almost all meals are. It is a huge investment in time and commitment and only if you think it is worth it. Time savers - shopping lists, one big shop, cooking extra portions to freeze, preparation in stages. We do most of it weekends, with dh and I taking turns to shield whichever of us is doing the cooking.

Agree that cooking should not take the place of spending time with los. Heck, my dd won't be impressed if I took any attention off her to do a big cookout.

expatinscotland · 17/03/2006 11:09

i LOVE cooking! i just wish we had an open plan place so i could be in the kitchen all the time.

still, my chief issue is time. or lack thereof.

iota · 17/03/2006 11:15

tallmum - am totally at 4 kids and no dishwasher. You NEED one urgently.

And yes they are more efficient and use less ater than the equiv no of washing up bowls full.

My dh lovse to cook- but uses every pan in the kitchen - I'd have to leave him if we didn't have a dishwasher

serenity · 17/03/2006 11:15

tallmummy - we don't have a dishwasher either, isn't really the room, but we have a rule in this house that whoever cooks does not do the washing up. As I seem to have ended up doing all the cooking, Dh does all the washing up (including breakfast and lunch as I leave them for him..... )

It's only fair really, maybe you should try it? Your Dh might see the advantages of a dishwasher then.

I tend to mix and match with meals. If I have time I'll do everything from scratch, but I'm not adverse to jazzing up a shop bought sauce if I just want to get it done. I have to say though that I tend to use 'cooking dinner' as an excuse to put a DVD on in the kitchen (portable DVD player on the fridge, halfway through season 3 of ER atm!) and have a bit of peace and quiet.

RedZuleika · 17/03/2006 11:17

Haven't read all the thread, but I do a lot of freezing and use a slow cooker too.

Also - I have a really good recipe for bolognese sauce, make vats of it then defrost for use in lasagne, cottage pie etc as well as with pasta. It's a little runnier than a usual cottage pie, but it still tastes good.

tallmummy · 17/03/2006 11:18

Thanks iota - my dh loves to cook too but he always burns the onions! He also likes to be inventive with the old herbs and spices. We have good friends who still talk of his legendary chicken skin soup!! GAG

iota · 17/03/2006 11:24

\link{http://www.est.org.uk/myhome/efficientproducts/dishwashers/\energy saving trust}

tallmummy · 17/03/2006 11:25

Perfect this is just the backup I need.

puddle · 17/03/2006 11:27

I do a couple of stews or bakes once a week which lasts us 4 nights. The other three nights tend to be quick meals I can put together in 20-30 mins - pasta and sauce, risotto sausages and mash, or a piece of fish.

I quite often put together a stew/ soups etc whilst cleaning up the kitchen after supper meal, with a lot of cooking you can do other things alongside it. Or cook at 4.30ish with the kids doing something on the kitchen table - plah doh, drawing and writing, bead threading etc.

The more meals we eat together, the simpler the task too, I find. I feel sorry for people who have to cook twice all the time - once for the kids and then again later for the adults.

joelalie · 17/03/2006 12:29

Compromise sounds OK to me. I do freshly cooked for everyone approx 5 days a week, 'convenience' food the rest of the time. Kids seem to be thriving on it.

Kate

GDG · 17/03/2006 12:33

I'm with you hmc - well said! However, it's pretty easy to healthy stuff quickly anyway - pasta and sauce with cheese on top and garlic bread is easy, beans on toast (maybe with scrambled eggs) is easy and my favourite of favourites that the kids aaaaalways ask for is 'picnic tea' (crackers, cheese, sandwiches, a loadof chopped up fruit, mini muffin, yoghurt etc).

GDG · 17/03/2006 12:34

I tend to save the cook from scratch things for when we eat as a family (weekend) - do lasagne etc then. When I make pasta sauces I make extra and freeze

Pruni · 17/03/2006 12:40

God what a relief to read this.
This kind of cooking is what I mean when I say I cook from scratch most of the time. It can be quite simple (eg omelettes) but it's all good...it's an exceptional child that eats the same gourmet stuff that its parents like, anyway. (And if you happen to have one, you'll know how lucky you are.)

Squarer · 17/03/2006 13:16

I have one Pruni - he eats moussaka, chilli and smoked mackerel risotto by the handful. I found this out when he attacked me for my plate one night when I assumed he didn't want what I was eating. How mistaken was I (and yes, I realise how lucky I am when I read some of the threads about what babies won't eat)

He also eats omlettes, sandwiches, fishfingers, sausages etc (nice ones though) I used to wear my "first time mum" t-shirt constantly (not literally btw) and always be in the kitchen cooking stuff from scratch. When he eventually wakes up he'll be having left over green bean and mushroom omlette for lunch, which will take all of 2 minutes. I also found a boil in the bag cod in butter sauce frozen thing without any chemicals in the other week. Takes about 5 minutes in the microwave. Hooray for liberation!

Pruni · 17/03/2006 13:30

Good god Sq I had one like that until a year old.
It was fabulous and I loved it.
It did not last.
But lucky you, anyway!

Pruni · 17/03/2006 13:31

It being the fact that my child would eat, not the child...

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