If your toddler (20months) doesn't like their dinner do you give them something else?

[yellowflowers]

Dd had risotto. She's had it before but admittedly not her favourite. She refused it, even a taste. If she goes to bed hungry though I suffer as then she wakes starving in the night. So I made her some porridge which she devoured and is now polishing off some strawberries. But should i have done? Do you give alternatives if they don't like their dinner?

I don't offer alternatives, except his milk before bed, on the advice of both the nursery and our paediatrician lest it becomes a habit - but we're lucky in that DS doesn't wake up in the night.
DS (23m) would have polished off your risotto and spat out the bowl of porridge though. Annoying little so-and-so's aren't they?

Sometimes I do (she's 2.9), but if it's something I know she likes I don't make anything else. She has woken once recently when she hasn't eaten her dinner, but it got to the point where she was asking for something else every night, no matter what she was served so I wanted to put an end to that.

I try not to offer something else, but it all depends what else my 20 month boy has eaten during the day. A friend told me that toddlers only really need 2 decent meals a day (+ snacks) so I try not to stress too much if one meal is a disaster. I also try to make sure he's really hungry by tea time and therefore polishes off his food regardless of what it is.

On a similar note, if your toddler doesn't eat their main meal do you still give the pudding that you were going to anyway?

DS is almost 17 mo, if he tries something and clearly doesn't like it then I'd offer something else, if he won't try it then I'd assume he's not hungry, and offer him some fruit and yogurt, sometimes he won't touch them either, if he's not well or teething badly, so then its just milk before bed.

If they won't touch it, they get nothing - tho I'd give plain porridge or wetabix later.
If they try it, they can have a yoghurt, and normally a banana for pudding, but nothing very special like a biscuit or strawberries.
If its something I think might not be popular tho, I try to make sure there are filling sides, so they get mains - bread and butter, garlic bread or similar

so in reply yes would offer pudding, but thats almost always fruit and yogurt, if he only eats that then better than nothing imo. Will probably lead to trouble in the future though, I'm brilliant at making rods for my back

i don't give alternatives, but we always have fruit after a meal, and they have some of that.

No

No. When my two were that age I wouldn't. I think once they are old enough to eat unpureed food then they get what they are given. I have never given in to fuss pot whining (and will only get something else if they are ill) and only put out a small portion of what Dh and I are having never a separate meal. My dcs know that if they don't eat it they don't eat and hence they will always eat what they are given unless, of course, they are not actually hungry. Just make sure you aren't putting much on the plate as sometimes that can put little ones off if it looks big to them. They can always have seconds. By contrast my friend's ds has been fussed over and given whatever he wants and will now only eat potato scones, crisps and chocolate. She is trying her best now to change it but he is whiney and fussy now and that will be quite hard to fix I think.

If she genuinely doesn't seem to like it but has tried it then, yes, I would give something else. I realise this may not be a good thing in the long term, but, in the short term I want her to be well fed before she goes to bed so she doesn't wake up in the night hungry and disturb me . Or, I might offer a more filling pudding like a banana.

No. Unless it's something new which she has tried and genuinely seems to dislike. Even then it would be something v low key like bread and butter on the side of dinner.

I might give her milk to drink with dinner (don't normally because it spoils her appetite) on the basis she doesn't recognise this as food!

Doesn't do them any harm at all to miss a meal imo.

I wouldn't give an alternative unless I was worried about how much she's eaten all day. In that case she would get down from the table with nothing more but I would offer some cereal or porridge as supper.

No they don't get offered anything else, though if they were waking in the night I would be tempted to offer something very bland/boring before bed.

They don't have to finish their meal, but if they don't then there is no pudding. If you're not hungry for dinner, you're not hungry for cake/fruit/yoghut/treats, is the logic behind it.

I cook whatever we're eating (we all eat together) and then it's up to ds if he eats it or not. Fruit and/or plain yoghurt available for pudding though.

If DD (2) really doesn't like it and I can understand why (for example, DH has made something too spicy) then yes, I make her something quick like beans on toast. Plain yoghurt and fruit for pudding, as long as she has attempted it.

If I'm not sure DS will eat something I also do sides. Normally carb based eg bread and butter, pitta/naan, garlic bread, frozen yorkshire etc. I'll often add some sweetcorn/beans too or some little cubes of cheese/slice of bacon. Basically quick popular additions that still sort of go with what we're having.

That way I know he'll at least pick at something.

Still do pudding as usual.

DS is not a fussy eater but by no means eats everything. I still want him to experience new foods or he'll never eat them. However i strongly believe this needs to be done without pressure. without pressure. So tonight was creamy pork (hit and miss), mash (miss), broccoli (miss) and yorkshires (hit!).

Didn't mean to double up 'without pressure'!

I don't offer another main, I am unlikely to have back up sides. I give the pudding. Which is often just fruit and yogurt, but if it was going to be something more exciting then I still get it out.

But i sometimes increase bedtime biscuit to bedtime quarter bagel, so I suppose what I do is driven by a desire to avoid fussing around food at dinner time rather than a desire to show that you need to eat your dinner to avoid starvation.

I'm the same as cashmere. We all eat together and I cook a big variety of meals with not much regard to what their favourites are - but I do try and make sure there's something in every meal that will fill them up and is pretty bland.

We always have yoghurt (only pudding we do) and I do not limit it - but they have to wait for us to finish our first course even if they're not touching theirs. Fruit is always available in our house and they are allowed as much as they like after a meal.

If I'm really concerned that they are not full before bed, I just give a bigger beaker of milk at .

I would never even consider cooking something else to replace a main course - it's hard enough preparing one meal! (Mine do eat a good lunch though so I'm never too concerned about their intake).

I wouldn't offer another main course, no.

I'd give yoghurt or fruit and then offer cereal after bath time, just before bed.

Oops I meant to say: I used to find myself getting quite tense if my daughter wouldn't eat much at a meal time, but then I noticed that if you look at it over the course of a few days, they'll generally eat more on one day then less the next to compensate. Or my DD does anyway. So I don't overthink it now.

If my son decides he's not hungry I will offer a slice of bread.

I do slightly different meals for dd due to food intolerances but biggest issue is DH who is fussy. if I want dd to try something I know she has refused before I do a half portion and add in something I know she does like

I do not do pudding as such, just never think of it and dd can't have dairy or soya otherwise I'd given a yogurt. she has a big breakfast of cereal, toast, sometimes some egg and sausage (her favourite) and a big beaker of oat milk. snacks are fruit and baby biscuits or savory muffins with lunch and dinner being veg and protein, lots of fish and she does have fads but I pretend not Ty notice them!