Please help, my 7 year old daughter is obese! I could cry. :-(

[mummyloveslucy]

My daughter has always been tall, with her weight matching her height. Over the years, she's gained more and more weight. She is now 4 foot 5inches and weighs 84lbs (6 stone) Only 3 stone less than me and I'm 5 foot 6.

She eats healthy food at home. I cook every day. We do eat out a fair bit too and she usually has chicken nuggets and chips. Or carvary, with 2 yorkshires. She can eat an enormous.amount.of.food!.I.have.to.let.her.leave.the.table.feeling.a.bit.hungary.which.makes.me.feel.a.bit.sad.for.her.

She.isn't.that.active,but.we're.looking.into.ways.of.increasing.her.excercise. Eg.maybe.another.swimming.lesson.a.week.Longer.walks.or.another.activity.

She.does.have.problems.with.chronic.constipation.and.has.been.on.lactalose,which.is.like.6..5mil.teaspoons.of.syrup.a.day.We've.now.changed.her.to.Movicol,but.she.doesn't.like.it.It's.very.hard.to.get.her.to.drink.enough.as.well.

Any.advice.would.be.very.welcome.

In terms of getting her more active, how about dancing lessons, if she's not a big fan of sport? I'm thinking of something a bit more high-energy than ballet (though yes, I know ballet dancers are superfit, but it doesn't burn off calories for a beginner!) - maybe tap?

Can you go swimming more than once per week if she really likes it?

She is only 7. Isn't there a playground nearby she can spend an hour in every day?

Thanks.everyone..

To.be.honest,she.doesn't.run.around.in.the.playground/park.She.walks.to.the.different.things.that.she.can.sit.on..[grin].She.doesn't.like.climbing.due.to.poor.co-ordination.and.being.a.scaredy.cat.

I.like.the.idia.of.tap!I.think.she.might.like.that. She.does.have.too.many.carbs,but.I'm.not.sure.what.to.replace.them.with.

I've.ordered.two.books,recommended.on.here,so.hopefully.It'll.give.me.some.idias

you say she has coordination problems, is she alright on a bike? Maybe cycle in the mornings after breakfast, weather permitting and then do your HE programme when you get back.

Try linseed for constipation. Sprinkle generously on something she will eat, it doesn't have the best taste/texture but in yoghurt with musli for instance she will not pick up on it particularly. Follow it up with a big glass of water.

Dd is 8 and has bowel and reflux problems. She has a very low fat diet and never has deep fried or fried food. Crisps are occasional and must be baked ones. We experiment with veg and have to give her as much as we can and make her drink lots otherwise she has to use movicol.

Also she never has fizzy drinks or chocolate.

I've just been looking at some old photos, taken of me with some friends in the (ahem) 50s. We are all thin, by today's standards.

Breakfast was a boiled egg, with bread and butter (there were no toasters and people tended not to use the grill unless it was for meat). Milk to drink.

Lunch was almost always home-made soup - a variety of lentil and vegetable. Usually a lump of cheese and an apple to follow. Sometimes a home baked fairy cake/rock bun (about a quarter of the size of a modern cupcake). And more milk.

Dinner was meat or fish, potatoes, and vegetables. We had pudding (home-made) every day - something like treacle sponge with custard.

We had a cup of cocoa or Ovaltine mid-morning and mid-afternoon, if we were at home. A few sweeties or a small bar of chocolate on a Saturday when our father took us out for a walk. I'm talking a two-hour walk, minimum.

Oh, and we ate from child-size dinner plates (a little bigger than a side plate) until we were 10 or 11, so I guess our portions were much smaller than adults'. No eating out - no-one could afford it.

But the crucial thing is that we ran about all day. We ran to school, we ran home, we ran to the park, we ran back home, we played skipping ropes, ball games and hopscotch endlessly. Outdoors was for children, indoors for adults.

It's hard to replicate that nowadays (and few would want to), but we need to re-educate ourselves about a) the portions we should be serving and b) the exercise levels we should be expecting.

Do you have any outdoor centres nearby? She could perhaps do a taster of activities such as climbing, sailing or canoeing (an instructor could take her out to start with to get her used to the idea) which would help her get some fresh air and exercise but without the pressure of formal classes. Tap is a great form of exercise, maybe do one to one lessons to cover the basics, and some areas have kids yoga and zumba.

We found that when ds was younger he would like to have a map to follow for walks and was always better motivated on the return leg or if it was a familiar route. Could you identify a few local circular walks, varying in length, which could become favourites and give her a checklist to look out for on the way like i-spy (the books are great but you could easily make up your own list) as a distraction. If she has a simple digital camera she could take pics of the things she finds and what she can see, then keep a scrapbook.

even if she doesnt really like sport, I think you should keep trying to find something that she does enjoy rather than just accepting that. Dancing does seem a great idea, but you could try to interest her in a lot of other things from karate to hockey as well. Usually you can try out activities once or twice without having to commit or pay anything. If you think she just sits in the park, how about taking a couple of badminton rackets, or a frisbee/softball and having a bit of a game to get her to run around a bit? Does she go to softplay?

don't know if anyone has mentioned it, just skim read here so apologies if repeating. My friends dd suffered terrible constipation and they had some allergy testing - she has a wheat intolerance. Might be worth looking at that too? Also, she was told sometimes too much wholemeal bread can actually be detrimental to bowel movements.

My friends daughter was in the same position as yours, they went to mend (link below). It has help enormously, we have all learned something it's very positive and it aimed that children . Hope this helps

www.mendcentral.org/aboutus

Definitely too many carbs considering she isn't very active. Don't worry about giving her full fat dairy etc, it won't make her gain weight and at that age she needs it, plenty of protein too. Those will also make her feel more satisfied so she shouldn't eat as much. The sorts of things she is currently eating won't fill her up for long and will just make her crave more food.

Are you active? Can you go for a decent walk together everyday? Swim more? Dance round the livingroom together?

Good luck!

Issues such a prader willis aside, I wanted to offer some hope to you! Both me and my sister were chubby (vegetarian) kids, but not anymore!

Some things that have helped me - bread/carby stuff like pasta etc = constipation. It also makes me sluggish and doesn't fill you up longterm.

Fat in your diet = not the same as fat in your body. People think the little fat globules go into your stomach, then down little tubes to your hips. In fact, things have to be broken down into fuel, and then your body makes 'people fat' which goes on your hips! Sugar and carbs are easy peasy for your body to break down, so they make a lot of fat. Natural fats (butter, olive oil, coconut oil, avocados, full fat milk etc) and protein (lean meat etc) are big, complex molecules that take a lot of breaking down.

Fruit = mostly sugar and water.

I eat a lot, a 'normal' portion does nothing for me, likewise snacking on an apple - 5mins later, hungry. Snacks for me are a full fat milkshake, a piece of cold beef, a piece of cheese. Fruit is just flavouring, like strawberries in the milkshake. Lots of fresh veg keeps me regular, vitamins etc I never feel hungry, and lose weight effortlessly when I'm being strict. Sadly sugar and carbs create a bit of a vicious cycle - the more you eat, the more you seem to need. And they're addictive! I think this is because they aren't seen in nature. carbs come from grain, which is a relatively new human invention, and sugar would only be got in the form of honey or fruit, both of which aren't abundant in nature. So, we crave them and gobble them up when we find them!

Thanks everyone. That's so interesting!

What could I give.her.a.lower.carb.alternative.to.wholemeal.bread.and.pasta??

Especially.in.a.packed.lunch.or.pic-nic?

am a bit surprised that PE is not part of your homeschooling!

can relate to the idea of having a child who doesnt want to hurt themselves. my eldest son who at primary school decided all the other children were being silly running around as it wasnt worth the pain of falling over and hurting your knees.
so he quickly became a plump lad with a big tummy.
he was on a good diet, and so we increase his activities.
hated sport, and so we kept up the beavers , cubs and scouts, and then drama clubs. so that he was out the house and busy rather than at home eating extra slices of toast etc.

he had water,milk and juice with water to drink.
we stopped having biscuits in the house, just bread sticks etc.

he lost the plumpness at 14 when puberty kicked in with a vengance.

when he was 18 he started running and keeps his weight down that way.

however, we have another child with similar problems who is very physically active and another who barely moves but is underweight.

it seems i cant win them all...

would 2nd the lindseed tip. works a treat and is gentle on the tummy.

I don't actually think that sounds that big at all. Who says she's obese?

How about getting her one of these: Magic Plate.

I had the adult version, and it helped me to shift quite a bit of weight.

I looked up.her.BMI.online.and.it.was.classed.as.obese.

The.magic.plate.looks.like.a.good.idea.

Did you specifically use bmi for a child. Ive just done it and it says overweight.
And at 82lbs it's just At risk of becoming overweight

Not saying you shouldn't look at her diet, but I dont think it's that bad

Oh! That sounds better. It was the NHS one. It's child or adult. I used her DOB.

Do you think she might be dyspraxic? That would explain the poor coordination, not being able to ride a bike, poor climbing etc and also may be a reason her legs hurt. Yes, all children's legs hurt sometimes but my dyspraxic DS started complaining even after only a few minutes of walking outside when he was about 6 or 7. The OT referred him to a gait clinic with a physio who made a few recommendations and with their help he did grow out of it.

Apart from swimming and dancing, walking is probably your best bet so if there is a real problem it might be good to get it sorted.

Has she grown much in height recently? Both my boys got quite big at 8 and put on weight. They look quite large in photos but DS1 started to grow up again and lost it and now his weight and height match. DS2 is now 8 and appears to be doing the same thing. Neither of them ate more but they seem to suddenly start holding on to it more. Maybe your DD, being a girl is going through the same thing a bit earlier.

None of this is to say that you shouldn't watch portion size or quality of food - of course you should and it will help. I was just thinking that it isn't always that simple.

And just as an aside, a fist sized portion of anything seems incediably large to me. I can't see my two eating a portion of meat the size of their fists. Nor could I for that matter. I do find that quite shocking that that is the recommendation unless it is a portion of chocolate!

the recommendation for meat is a portion the size of the palm of your hand for an adult. and cheese should be in matchboz sized portions.

I don't think you should eat anythign as big as your fist!

Have you tried lentils? My DSs love them. Either as a simple salad (green), or in as a v mild curry (dahl). I also use them (red lentils usually) in veg soups. Very good for the system! They also like beans (cannelloni etc) which I chuck into stews sometimes. Eg last night I fried an onion, garlic, half a mild chorizo, tin of tomatoes and tin of beans.

Both my boys eat huge amount (5 and 7), the older one will eat more pizza than me, and an adult portion of pasta. He doesn't get pizza often, and I try and limit the pasta to twice a week. But they are both v active and it is probably that that makes the difference.

Good luck.