2yo mealtime hell. My fault, but what now...?

[LaTristesse]

DS is 2 and because of some upheaval at home he's been used to being spoonfed ready meals in front of the TV. He's eaten well, but obviously the quality of food and the mode of delivery have been awful. Changes have now been made and I'm trying to get him to eat homecooked meals himself, with me at the table. (Us both eating at the same time).
And he's obviously playing up! He will at least stay at the table (I thought he'd just keep getting down), but won't eat the majority of what I give him, and dicks about no end.
I'm prepared to go hardline to crack this, but what's the best approach? I've told him no toys at the table. Mummy stays while he eats but if he's not going to eat I'll leave to do other things. He has 45 minutes then the food gets taken away and nothing til the next meal. But how long do I go on with that? Will he eventually get so hungry he eats or will he just hold off for Weetabix each morning? Any advice welcome, I know I deserve a beating for letting it get to this, but I want to put it right...

There was a BBC documentary on this called fast food baby. It was really good and they have an expert on to help 4 young children with their eating habits. See if you can find it online.

A quick google took me to the blog article on the program. It has a list of tips from the expert on the show
www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/food/2011/05/fast-food-baby-feeding-the-nex.shtml

HTH

Thanks both, good advice all round, and that's a fabulous link terror, thank you! Any other tips and tricks gratefully received!

LaTristesse - well done you for tackling the issue, and I admire your determination.

I agree with Anarchist - 45 minutes may be too long for a 2yo. If you keep it to, say, 20 minutes, you can stay at the table with him the whole time and he can get the "feel" of a proper family meal, where everyone stays at the table till the meal is done. You can show him how meals can be used for good conversation, for civilised debate, and even for laughs. He is certainly not too young to pick this up - you can't start too early! And it will give him a good social foundation for when he gets older and starts school.

I also wouldn't worry about how much he eats - if he's been a good eater before, that's half the battle. He WILL eat when he's hungry, and if he holds out till Weetabix the next morning then that's all he needs!

Good luck!

Thanks for the reassurance mommy. And a very good point about the social aspect to mealtimes.

Can he help choose what you are cooking, say offer two choices eg pasta or jacket potato. Can he help prepare eg grating cheese? Helping him feel involved might ease the transition. Also, make sure he is at an appropriate height to the table, my friend has a small child and complains about how she eats, whe we were invited to dinner she was on a normal chair and the table was at shoulder height!

I agree with the no stressing thing, no matter how stressful it actually is. Its important that you don't make too much of a big deal out of it. I'm not sure I'd agree with no toys initially - you are making a big transition. Sometimes we take trains to the table (DS2 is 20 months) as trains need lunch too, didn't you know? So, we might do a spoon for Thomas and Spencer, then a spoon for DS2. Does he have special teddy for example who might also come to the table, with his own bowl and spoon - I remember doing this with DS1.

I also agree with him helping you prepare the food - get him an apron and stool and let him think that he's cooking too and the transition from worktop to table should be easier?

No worries LaTristesse - hope it helps. When my kids were littler we spent a lot of time at my in-laws' where the table was always properly laid and there was no "kids' table". It was a little formal but I'm really grateful for it now. My 2 know how to conduct themselves at a meal and they enjoy the sense of occasion a properly laid table gives. You can get your DS to help put the cutlery and plates out, and when he's older, get him to clear it too (vvv helpful!),

Just to feed back that after one week of the new regime, today DS ate his entire dinner himself within 30minutes, didn't even ask to bring a toy and was rewarded with dessert which he also ate all himself! I'm so pleased with his progress, and excited about next week as we've been planning some things we can make together. Still a way to go but it feels like we're on the right track, thanks so much for all the ideas and advice!

Just seen your thread latristesse what a great job!

Fantastic, well done :)

That's great progress for such a short period of time.