3.5 yr old freaks at smell of our food....

[desperatehousewife]

Was a great eater until about 18 months old - he had good quality home made tasty food. Bit by bit over the months what he would eat went down and down. Until now (age 3.5) he eats only bland food.

milk, yoghurt, cereal, honey sandwiches, croissants (and all bread products), chicken nuggets (organic, breast ones) chips and frankfurters, sometimes a bit of apple carrot or banana.

that is literally it.

Refuses point blank to try anything new, or to try any of the foods he used to eat.

Tried eating with his friends to encourage him. Doesn't work. Try to all eat together at least twice a day and put food in middle of table to see if he shows interest - doesn't work. He's just not interested.

The new thing is he is freaking out over the smell of our food and refuses to come down into the kitchen when we are eating.

Totally flummoxed - don't know what to do.

Help?!

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personally i would do everything above that you have been doing...

offer him the same food as you and thats it...

when he is hungry he will eat, and no child has ever starved themselves to death through refusal to eat "normal" food.

Once he is really hungry and knows hes not gonna get other food he will eat what you have...

you could be "kind" and make things like toad in the hole with sausages in, have a fruit bowl avaliable for pudding (if hes eaten at least some of what ever 1st course you choose to offer etc)

Don't make a fuss of it (although someway I'm sure you don't any way). Sometimes you have to offer the things over several weeks before he decides to try them.

We had the problem with DS (almost 3) and dietitian asked us to cut one of his snacks to ensure he ate all of his most nutritionally important meals. He is eating so well now (knock on good) that I have to give him a second snack before going to sleep.

Dietitian also said not to worry about the quantities of food they eat, if the eat a couple of spoonfuls at lunch they will make up for it at dinner.

should i offer completely new foods - just tiny portions and not give anything else if he doesnt try it...or should i introduce new foods with the food he currently WILL eat?

I think the second option is better. In addition, something that has worked for us is to tell him that is Ok, he doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to, but to have a single spoonful of it and that's it. Normally once he has tried it, he continues to eat it. I'm not saying that it is easy but it work over time, especially if you always stick to the rule. HTH

Hmmm ... I would try offering new foods, and asking him to have, say, a few mouthfuls of something new, and then letting him have his normal food. But you'd have to be firm.

You could go cold turkey and only give him new foods for a meal, but that might be a bit rough, for all of you.

This is clearly a power struggle, and so far, he's winning.

totally - he is winning hands down. I'm really quite nervous of doing anything to rock the equilibrium when it comes to food - because I wouldn't eat anything except chips and beans and cheese and bread until i was in my early teens - hated food, textures made me gag and it became a terrible part of my life - terrified to go round to friends houses for tea incase they gave me other foods etc.

Well then, you understand how annoying it can be, to be fussy like that. So you want to make things better for your DS.

We had a bit of struggle with DS1 about food, and found it helped to have some basic rules:

• he's allowed to like things, or not, but he's not allowed to fuss or say "that's disgusting" etc. If he makes this sort of fuss, he is sent down from table immediately, no more food, no dessert. We did it once. It really helped.
• no dessert/toast/fruit unless he eats a reasonable part of his main course. We avoid sweets and really processed foods.

I do take his preferences into account, and I don't expect him to eat anything really spicy. But so far, he eats what's in front of him.

DH, DS had something with textures as well, and if you had a similar problem I would not be surprised if your DS is really getting some disconfort with eating.

If this has been going for quite a while, I would recommend to start everything with a clean slate, plan carefully the introduction of foods, talk to the rest of the family and agree on an aproach to follow when he doesn't want to eat (Key aspect is for him to always get the same response to his actions). Never show him you are angry or desperate, there is wide evidence that people can't, really, eat when they get stressed so it's important to keep stress levels to a minimum. Don't give him other foods just what he should have, if he tried it and he didn't like him, tell him he was a good boy, hug him or whatever because he took the step of trying a spoonful (even if he spits it out afterwards). Little by little, I expect, he will get more confident about his food.

But don't start with this until the rest of the household is ready, otherwise, if you change the rules one night, next day he will act worse than when you started

Hi despie, my DS has done this, ate all the good stuff as a baby, all homecooked, and then got fussier at about 18 months to two. Apparently this is down to 'Neophobia', fear of anything new that most toddlers have!

We have simply persevered in offering him what we want to, though I always put something on the plate I KNOW he will eat. I've always taken a really laid back approach and quite often, after sometimes WEEKS of refusing something he just starts to eat it. Occasionally I now say "if you eat a bit of that first you can have your tomato sauce" and that works. So I'd say don't let him put you off, continue to offer what you want him to eat.

Since he loves bread, have you tried veggie soup? My DS surprisingly loved soup, and loves dipping his bread in and it's a great way to get loads of veggies into him. The way to present it might be to dip the bread in for him then say "now you can have your bread". Another really healthy dipping thing is Houmous with breadsticks.

Be strong and don't give up, he won't be a toddler for ever. Someone on here said that once their child hit around five years old they started to eat much more and clear their plate, something they had never done at this age.

looking again at your child's diet, I would say take the pressure off completely and just don't worry. Persist with offering the food you want him to eat and I'm sure he will as he matures, but at the moment, well I'm not a dietician but he sounds to me like he's getting a pretty balanced diet:

Calcium from the milk and Yogs
Protein from the Chicken nuggets and frankfurters
Carbohydrates from the bread products
(whole?)grain from the cereal
Fruit and veg in the form of Apple, Carrot and Banana.

I don't think that's a great plan, sparklemagic. First of all, her DS isn't getting any iron. And second, it is much less annoying to have a child who eats real food. Otherwise, you have to prepare separate food for him all the time. Can you eat out? Or at friends' houses? Can you travel?

Never mind the hassle of having a child who avoids being in the room when they eat!

Hi notquite. What I was saying was "Persist in offering the foods you want him to eat" and in my previous post I'd said that this was how we had dealt with our son when he got a bit fussy. So I wasn't saying don't worry and don't offer him anything other than what he eats.

As I said I'm not a dietician! You're right about Iron and I'm sure there are other things, but I was saying it's 'pretty' balanced. I've heard of worse!

I think keeping offering things is a good plan if the child is willing to try things, but if he's refusing to be in the same room as foods he doesn't like, this is a bit tricky!

It's all a question of degree, anyway. Anything that actually gets him to try new stuff is a good idea.

i let him win by always making sure i take honey sarnies for him if we go out for lunch to a restaurant or a friend's house - it's ridiculous to be pandering to such a degree to a three year old! But i'll be honest, i'm terrified about how to break this cycle.

he makes food regularly at school - soup, pizza etc, but won't try a thing. He is incredibly stubborn. If they are not the right kind of chicken nuggets he won't eat them. bloody ridiculous.

You know, at his age, you might be able to talk him around a bit. Explain you need him to try more food, and why (stress the eating over at other people's houses bit?).

And say that if he's good, and tries a few bites of something new each mealtime (and stops leaving the room when you eat), you'll keep serving him his favourite foods every meal. And explain that, if that doesn't work, you might have to stop offering his favourite foods?

NQC - good idea. He is a bright boy and does understand a lot of what's going on around him....might give that a go. Might also try a bit of a guerilla attack and come at him from every angle - get stories about food, get him growing his own tomatoes, playing picnics etc etc.

Weird thing is that DH and I LOVE our food - food is a really sociable thing in our house and we are always really positive about food and how yummy it is.

Also not worried so much about his physical side - he is tall, strong and very rarely ill. I was the same - never sick as a child and survived solely on chips and beans for a decade!

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