Threatening her with hospital is making her eat....am I wrong?

[oliveoil]

dd1's eating has recently got even worse (if that is possible) and she was becoming very lethargic and tired all the time.

So I said that if she carried on she would have to go back to hospital as she would make herself ill (she has been constipated). She then said 'I will have to keep my sleeves down' as she remembered all the blood tests she had to have for her allergy stuff (nut).

She has now miraculously changed and is eating MUCH better and has eaten more fruit and veg, still a fussy madam, but has more energy already.

Now have I done something really bad, scaring her into this?

No, all you have done is warn her of the real consequences of not eating! It would be different if you were making it up, but since she has had to go before now, I can't see that you've done anything wrong at all OO.

I say no

try not to say it again though for a while

does she just NOT eat, or eat crap? (I have a 6 year old who picks like a bird)

Can totally understand. When a child has a really limited diet, you'll try anything to encourage them to eat. My ds is just as bad, and I've come out with that line before.

because she will feel better and more energetic and happier which is what she will appreciate, she won't dwell on the hospital thing..but I would be guarded about using hospital in this way because she may have to go there in the future and it shouldn't be seen as a threat or punishment, but it has been a means to a successful end so will probably be quickly forgotten so don't worryor dwell on it

It feels wrong which is why I did this thread, so if it feels wrong it must be. Bad mother.

She picks, we don't have crap but an average day was going like this:

3 mouthfuls of Weetabix
1 quarter of a cheese sandwich
rice cake

I was trying to get fruit and veg in but to no avail.

Now she is having breakfast, dinner and tea and quite healthy snacks - apple, carrot etc. Still not eating tons though.

She used to eat SO WELL and I find it vvvvvvv hard when she picks.

I break all the rules and get stressed.

stop worrying

enjoy

oo

I posted a thread about dd1 a while back - she weighs bugger all and was looking like a skeleton - mums were commenting at the shcool gates it was so bad.

she would eat at that time:
a bit of a bowl of cereal
water
fruit (breakfast)

quarter of a sandwich
2 strawberries (lunch)

2 bites fo dinner

I wsa beside myself.

She got over it though and now is going through a good phase and eating quite a lot (still skinny as anything though). dd2 still eats twice as much though.

I has worked so don't beat yourself up about it, there are times when the ends justify the means.

I have done the same in the past and if one of my DD's was eating as little as yours I would take them to the Dr's and get him to reinforce the message.

So I am a considerably worse mum than you, so there!

OO I don't think you are wrong at all, sounds like a sensible threat which is having great results..
Is there anyway you can address or manage your own feelings of stress regarding eating though?
Tanya Byron on the house of tiny tearaways often emphasised the role of parents in influencing their children's attitudes towards food...

Might be something to bear in mind. But anyway sounds like things are getting better for you anyway, well done