Help me make DD's lunches healthier!

[MaresyDotes]

DD is 14 and has always had packed lunches, she's not keen on the selection at school and prefers to take her own.

Today's lunch was a cheese wrap (grated value cheddar), a Froob pouch, a Kellog's Fibre Plus bar and a banana. She grabbed a bag of Iced Gems and a Capri Sun on the way out of the door. This is a typical lunch (apart from the Iced Gems!).

Please bear with me if this is long, I don't want to have to keep saying 'no that won't work' to people who are good enough to reply!

She will not eat most fruit - she will eat a banana, she will eat a few bites of an apple but throw the rest away. The only 'cold' or raw veg she will eat is a carrot (like an apple, a few bites only) and sweetcorn. She will not eat any salad veg in any way, shape or form.

She won't drink milk. I am faced with having to give her cheese and yogurt in some form every day to make sure she's got enough calcium. She either has a cheese wrap, or a ham or turkey wrap and a 'cheese stick' as well.

She won't eat wholemeal bread (I do get away with giving her wholemeal wraps) and as she won't eat much veg, she has the Fibre Plus bar for - well, the fibre!

I added up the calories and her lunch is around 800, including the drink (carton of juice or a Capri Sun Multivitamin) . Due to the cheese, a pretty high proportion of these calories are from fat. (she doesn't have the juice/Capri sun every day, most days she has a bottle of water).

I have tried her with cold pasta (i.e. tuna pasta salad), she doesn't like it. I thought hot food in a flask would work, but the only soup she will eat is chicken soup - the clear one, not cream of chicken - and won't eat any of the veg in the soup. The only 'hot' things I've found that she will eat are Ravioli (from a tin), chicken soup, and leftover Spag Bol.

She knows her diet isn't the best, but she doesn't like the healthier alternatives that I have come up with. She can't/won't suggest anything different; she isn't really stubborn, she is willing to taste new things, but she is adamant if she doesn't like something.

I should point out: this isn't teenage faddy eating, she has always been like this, despite being started off with healthy foods as a baby. She gagged on fruit when I tried it from the baby jars.

Does she eat tuna? or rice? Does she get calcium at breakfast? Or is it only at lunchtime?

Doesn't sound that dissimilar to my Dd's lunch who is also 14. She does have salad in the wrap, but hers is ham or salami, so probably worse on that score.

She will have coleslaw sometimes. We have also managed cous cous salad with old pasta and chicken in.

Have you tried smoothies? So expensive though...

Cold pasta, not old

My dd takes innocent smoothies. Would she drink those?

Would she eat a boiled egg?

Any kind of pasta? Sweetcorn can go in it, or a tuna wrap? If she has a lower calorie, but more filling "main" she won't need so much to make up the rest of her lunch iykwim. Tbh though, if she isn't overweight, she is clearly burning through it. My cousins dd would not touch a huge variety of foods from about 4-now....she is 15 and finally eating more. Doctors say she is very healthy. Maybe take your dd shopping and let her choose? Google, there is lots of ideas out there. Also, she doesn't like milk, but what about a low fat milkshake?

How about a 'late night' (i.e. past 7pm) wander around a big supermarket with Mum? Fewer people and don't take your weekly shopping list - just wander around and see if she can choose a few things to try. Without the pressure of lots of people and getting the weekly shop done it might be easier to find things she's willing to attempt? Tuesdays and Wednesdays are normally the best in terms of full shelves.

If sweetcorn is acceptable then cold pizza with make-your-own toppings? If she eats fruit-flavoured yoghurts how about pureeing fruit with yoghurt to make a smoothie she can take in? It's basically the same as a frube but has proper fruit.

And has she tried couscous?

I just got sidetracked by the graze boxes...

Sorry, all she will eat from them is the bread, cakes, flapjacks and crackers, which I don't think is much improvement. The nut and fruit mixes etc are the sort of thing I have at home anyway (and she won't touch).

She won't drink a smoothie, or eat a cold hardboiled egg. But she does like egg mayonnaise...

She does like rice and tuna Blackaffronted; she has cereal with milk at breakfast (but doesn't drink the milk, only what comes up in the spoon, so not a great deal). We have oats a couple of times a week which IS made with milk and she eats those, but doesn't want them every day.

She doesn't like cold pasta but loves couscous, there is an idea!

Savoury muffins are always good - she does like those. I didn't think of those as a lunchbox filler...

Cold pizza is a good idea, too.

I've never thought of making homemade fruit yoghurt, I wonder if I can puree it enough for her to eat it... will have to give it a go.

Did not expect this thread to be about a 14 year old, somehow.

I think, if anything, you need to step back.

She is almost ready for the grown up world.

She can pack her own lunch from what is in the house, make herself a sandwich and take a drink.

I would not worry overly about her not drinking milk, she is not a toddler or a veryyoung child.

Just give her normal food, and if she doesn t like it tough...

Sounds to me you baby her too much maybe? Worrying about every mouthful, how many calories and vitamins she is getting etc. Just make sure you all have normal healthy food in the evening, then a sandwich and whatever for lunch is fine.

Step back.

Pureeing fruit yoghurt is something you would do for a baby or tot, not a teen, surely?!

If she likes oats for breakfast how about homemade flapjack as the snacky bit? Very filling so won't need as much other stuff.

She should be eating about 30% of calories as fats, so the cheese may be less of a problem than you think . The main problem I can see wih her diet is lack of complex carbohydrates. She really does need to up the fruit and veg and the whole grains. Would she eat more apple or carrot if they were chopped up?

But, tbh, at the age of 14, she knows what is a good meal. The learn that in PSHE at school. It's up to her to use that knowledge. If she has to take a bit of responsibility for her own eating, perhaps she would do so. I mean, if you encouraged her to come up with something for herself that she knows is healthy. Maybe she is acting like a child because she is able to, and if she had to act like an adult, she would.

I agree with Chandon - she is old enough now to force herself make the decision to eat more fruit/veg. Even if she was a fussy eater from childhood, she is old enough to understand what a healthy diet should include and make her own choices.

FWIW, her PL doesn't sound that bad, compared to what DD says some of her friends take in!

She is old enough to sort her own food, true - she can cook, too, does a fab spaghetti!

I don't 'baby' her, just chuck her lunch together for her to save her the bother. Chandon 'give her normal food, and if she doesn't like it, tough' - um, what do you mean by normal food exactly? I'm not sure where you're going with that. And I do think she needs plenty of milk products - as a teen, she actually needs around 1300mg of calcium a day, which is 4 glasses of milk or equivalent.

She does understand healthy eating in principle, but by physically not liking fruit and veg, her diet is limited. I only wish she WOULD eat more fruit & veg. I am well aware that in a very few years she will likely have moved out and be shopping for herself; I hope she makes good choices then.

Hi I have a 14 year old dd. she cooks once or twice very week, she rEally enjoys this and looking at recipes-maybe that's something you could encourage your dd to try as she cooks, most recipes have at least some fruit and veg in. She could also come shopping with you as the others have suggested and pick some things for herself. My dd also loves cous cous maybe add some grated carrots and apple? How about raisins? Cold noodles? I also agree that at 14 it is time for her to start sorting this out herself a bit.

O.k., normal food I mean wraps, sandwiches and a drink. Plain ordinary lunchbox stuff.

I also doubt teens need four glasses of milk a day, I mean, there are whole continents where dairy is not consumed on the scale it is here, like Asia and South America.

I would just relax a bit if I were you. Does she not like any fruit at all? Not even strawberries or mango, or even tinned peaches? Jam? Fruit juice?

Chandon, yes she'll eat wraps, sandwiches, a drink... just severely limited on what I can put in them. And as to the fruit, no, she won't eat any of the things you listed - except fruit juice, she'll drink that so long as it doesn't have 'bits' in it.

Well, then it should be fine really.

Remember how we used to eat in the seventies, not much variety, not that much fruit.

Tbh I think five a day is b&llocks, and I would not sweat over it.

If she is often sick, in poor health, pale or overweight I would worry. But if she seems fine, she probably is.

What is it that she doesn't like about fruit and vegetables and wholemeal bread? If you can pin it down to whether it's texture or taste or something else, then you might be able to find things that she will eat, or at least try. Otherwise you're looking at hiding the fruit and veg somewhere like you would for a smaller child or giving her multivitamins maybe. What about cartons of pure fruit juice instead of water or Capri Sun?

Can I ask what does she have for her tea/weekend food? is there anything she particularly like for an evening meal? (im looking for thing she will eat so there is something to work with for lunch)

If you can afford it you could consider getting a vitamix blender, they are highly powered professional blenders that will make anything smooth. Can make nut milks, nut butters, smooth smoothies (!) with hidden veg etc.

When I was 14 all I ate for lunch was a cheese and tomato roll and diet Irn Bru. I was not a fussy eater either. I actually think she's doing ok.

I think once she is older she will eat more like you. I think it's a maturity thing.