I'm getting sick of this.

[gscrym]

Just had a 20 minute tantrum with DS (3). He's always been a rubbish eater. I ask him what he wants for tea and that's what he gets. Over the past few day, he asks for something, I cook it, then he says 'I don't want that'.

His diet is rubbish apart from fromage frais and fruit juice. I have been trying since he was weaned but without luck.

I don't think I should give him anything else. Any advice on how anyone else has solved this age old problem would be appreciated.

Thanks

Eating with him? I know it's not always convenient, and I've probably put on a lot of weight doing it, but I try to make sure they don't eat by themselves. Easier now I have two!

Don't ask what he wants.
Give him what you want him to eat.
If he doesn't eat it take it away.

He'll soon eat-guaranteed.

(Why is he eating rubbish? Who is buying it for him and giving it to him? You are in charge not him.)

I've tried that. Have tried pick-nics, all sorts of things. No luck. Will try again though

I'm with MD - just cook what you want to, put it in front of him and just calmly make it clear that that is what is on the menu, if he's hungry he should eat it, if not then fine - but there is nothing to follow. It's what's there or nothing.

However, I do this with mine and they just leave it and are not bothered so it doesn't always lead to them eating what you want them to. Sometimes I bribe them with a treat - it's one way to get them to eat veg.

I don't worry too much because what they do eat is healthy - they eat lots of fruit, cereal, wholemeal bread sandwiches, yoghurts. They have a very narrow range of evening/hot meals but again, it's all healthy.

The last 2 nights I've just given in for ease and they've had sandwiches followed by fruit and yoghurt - basically the same as they had for lunch! But ds1 is ill and there is no point cooking.

In summary - I'd do as MD says, or try a bit of bribery (textbooks tell you not to but if it gets chicken, carrots or whatever it is into them, who cares?!)

Well my dd only seems to want sandwiches in the evening,and I think that's fine.
Nowt wrong with a sandwich!

The next time on off work, I'm going to try all the methods that anyone can give me. He's not an unhappy little boy, just not interested in food. The HV is happy with how he is and he doesn't seem to be suffering from any deficiencies. I think it's more a problem for me because I cook most things from scratch (lotsa casseroles on my days off) and all he wants is nuggets, sausages and chocolate spread sandwiches. I only use wholemeal bread and don't fry anything so slightly better for him.
Thanks for the suggestions.

My aim is to remove any focus on their decision whether or not to eat.

We sit down together at the table. I give them their food (without consulting them first on the menu). What they don't eat I take away. No fuss, no threats, sometimes a bit of bribery! I still give pudding if they don't eat their main course, because my goal is to remove any potential for tantrums. I don't like the picnic/asking what they want/making weird shapes with the food, because that all puts the focus back on me wanting them to eat.

The "take it or leave it" approach has worked reasonably well with mine, and the more people you can get sitting down together the better, as it reduces the attention on the refuser.

Good luck - it can be hard maintaining that nonchalent "Whatever!" attitude when they turn their nose up at your lovingly prepared meal.

But gs..if I may ask,you say you cook from scratch so what are nuggets and sausages doing in your house??How does he even know what they are?

I've never given nuggets so mine don't ask for them and they wouldn't eat them if they were put in front of them.

They do like sausages though but I buy mine from the butchers so they are basically all meat and therefore 'healthy' I think.

Fair enough on the sausage front..(good grief,what's come over me,agreeing with everything that GDG says.Must be mellowing in old age..)

Nuggets are bad shit however.

Hey, you know I make sense

When he was 7 months old, he woudln't eat lumpy food but would eat what I made, as long as it was puried. When he was 10 months old, for a period of about 6 months, he got infection after infection and ended up eating next to nothing. He still ate yogurts and sometimes weetabix with fruit. He would occasionally eat raisins, the yogurt covered ones.
DH was on his way home with him in the car and stopped for a portion of chicken strips at burger king and DS asked for one. After that, we would give him breaded chicken strips (I call them nuggets, might not be the same thing). I have them in the freezer as they can be handy in a hurry. I know they aren't the best thing but at the time he wouldn't eat anything else. I thought I was doing the best thing but I think I've made a rod for my own back.
He's genuinely a good little boy in other areas ans he's usually so polite when he refuses things.