12 MO DS will not attempt to use his own spoon

[RegLlamaOfBrixton]

I have mostly gone down the pureed/mashed route as I didn't feel confident with BLW but am now concerned I've built a rod for my own back with the spoon. DS is happy with finger foods - sandwiches, toast, fruit, rice cakes (although he tends to ignore veg). He usually has Ready Brek or Weetabix for breakfast and he will attempt to eat these with his hands but gets frustrated and sits there with his mouth open waiting for me to spoonfeed him. He will sit and hold his own spoon, and chew on it without food on it, (and try to put it into my mouth!) but if I offer him a loaded spoon he either throws it across the room or pulls his hands away from the spoon and then opens his mouth again to be spoonfed. Ditto lunchtime - he usually has a casserole or fish pie and veg type meal where he can get some in with his hands but again gets frustrated and sits there with his mouth open like a baby bird. I have tried eating off the spoon myself in the hope that he will imitate me - but no joy. Any tips or should I trust that it will happen in it's own time?

Don't panic or stress! I found that babies/children learn best by copying. Do you eat your own meal with him? I would make yourself a helping of dinner too, give him a spoon to hold, and the feed him, but also eat your meal at the sane time, so he has a chance to watch you. X

I eat my breakfast with him (on the days I'm not working) but he has lunch at 11.30am and dinner at 5pm to fit around nap/bedtimes, both of which are a bit early for me. I guess I could eat a yoghurt or something myself, whilst I feed him. Thankyou, I will persevere, I guess I just feel like he should be a bit more independent by this age.

I don't think either of mine showed much inclination to feed themselves with a spoon at that age.

DS is now 17 months, and it is only in the last month or two that he has been feeding himself. Now to the point of obstinacy, he will NOT let me feed him anything!

Can't win! You'll get there :)

DS is the same age and we've been having a similar problem even though we've done baby led weaning! Just suddenly about 2 weeks ago after always feeding himself by hand and starting to use a loaded spoon or fork he started leaning in towards it wanting us to do it... We've never fed him like this so it was pretty weird!

There's a developmental leap around this age and I believe it's common for babies to want to be 'babied' again for a while; wanting help with things they are quite capable of doing themselves - I'm sure it will pass but in the meantime we've started doing a mixture of giving him a few bits on the tray to pick up with his fingers and holding his hand gently encouraging him to take the spoon/fork, guiding it towards his mouth and praising him lots when he puts it in. It has also helped with him banging said fork/spoon on the tray/throwing food he doesn't want on the floor - although I have found that when he starts messing about its often because he's had enough to eat. I've taught him to put his hands in the air when he wants to 'come up' - be picked up, get out of the bath or get down from the table.. This seems to have eased some frustration on both sides. HTH

My dd3 is 14months and just in the last week has started using her own spoon. She rarely misses her mouth so I'm pretty impressed. Reckon she was just holding off using it till she knew she'd get it right. Did keep giving her her own spoon from about 11 months but she just used it to fling food at the dog

My 15 month old ds waves the spoon around, chucks it on the floor and then proceeds to cram food in his mouth with both fists. :o

he's only little. just give him a spoon to play with. if he sees you using a spoon he will eventually try and succeed.

Babies wrist bones don't harden until around 18 months. Until this happens its quite difficult to coordinate a spoon from plate to mouth.

See here

Best thing to do is exactly what you have been doing. Leave the spoon loaded up on her tray and let her see you using one. Eventually she'll stop launching it and wave it in the general vicinity of her gob instead.

You could try doing weetabix with yoghurt and fruit, that stays quite together in little hands. Also make the readybrek really thick and sticky. My 17mo can stuff these in with his hands easily.