help me feed my 3!

[lady]

I have a real problem at the moment. Ds1 is 5 and in school all day - has to take a packed lunch. No prob there, eats heaps. Dd is 3 and ds2 is 18mths. Dd always wants "sandwiches!", so I give her those at lunch, so that all of them can have a proper meal together in the evening. (Ds2 would eat 2 large meals a day if I had the energy). Anyway, I find they will not eat a proper meal, any of them, at tea time. I spend hours, and I mean hours, trying to produce nutritious food, racking my brain for things they'll like, and they just don't want to eat. There is an element of once one starts messing around, it puts the others off - but what the hell do I do? Has anyone else been through this? Dd, incidentally, is in nursery school all morning and very tired at lunch and ready for her nap, so a sandwich suits her very well then.
Help!

Lady get them to help you with the cooking and preparation
for example
put the chopped carrots in a pan
other veg too
get the potatoes out of the bag

if they are seen to be little helpers they will probably eat their dinner.

ta - been trying that for ages. doesn't work any more, but also no time as back from school so late...

Mine love bacon , pasta with butter on and beans,

As a compromise, you could make savoury toasted sarnies (in a toasted sandwich maker) - eg. baked beans and cut up bits of pre-cooked sausage. That's kindof of a proper meal! Then they could have toasted apple and mincemeat (xmas sort) sandwiches for pudding and you have given them a (mostly) nutritious meal. You could probably sneak a bit of carrot or some peas in too.

Or spring rolls/fajitas/something in a pitta bread?

These are all meals wrapped in bread really, and you just might be able to convince your kids to eat them on the grounds that they are Chinese/Mexican/Arabic sandwiches specially for them.

Lady - my boys are exactly the same - they are 4 and 6. I have always found it impossible to get them to eat a proper meal in the evening - though they are generally very good eaters. Whenever possible we have a cooked meal at lunchtime, or now they have school dinners. If for some reason we have sandwiches at lunchtime at the weekend, I have consistently found they will not eat a meal I prepare in the evening/late afternoon. So I just don't bother any more. They do have a healthy and nutritious tea, and no snacks, but for us a hot dinner in the evenings just makes no sense at all.

Incidentally I find I feel much better not to have a big meal in the evenings now too.

Have you tried egg bread/French toast? Just mix up egg with a bit of milk and soak the bread in it and then fry lightly, then you can add further toppings onto it, ie cheese or peanut butter. Serve with some peas and that is a meal.

kmg1 -so what do you give them in the evenings?!! This is the solution I need! And I feel so torn about the "baby" - but maybe I should be feeding him something different ie a "proper" meal. How do I still feed them in a nutritionally adequate way with this problem? I am grateful for all the suggestions, but these are really "snack" foods, which they would probably relish, but I just feel they need a bit more for ONE of their meals. They adore eggs, they adore pitta bread and the trimmings, they love freshly made scones and pancakes, but to me this is meal #2 ie the lesser meal of the day. Yesterday I tried giving them something more simple - I cooked some spaghetti (which they love), shoved some passatta on it, boiled some broccolli and baby sweetcorn (which they love) and grated a parmesan equivalent (which they really love) all over it, and they didn't get half way... I simply think they're too tired. But how do I manage this situation?

do you work?
i have teh exact same problem - ds is a brill eater and likes everything. but he is just too narky sometimes.
i cant cook any earlier cos i work

I find that my DS won't eat his meal if I give him any snacks after 3pm. When we lived in England he always had a hot cooked lunch but when we came to NZ I found that most children have a cooked dinner. So we swapped and to be honest I much prefer it that way.
But if you find that they are too tired in the evening why don't you give them a 'proper' meal at lunchtime and then the snacky stuff ... sandwiches etc at dinner time?
But if you want them to have a cooked meal in the evening the only advice I can give you is to refuse all snacks after 3pm. In fact I sit DS down at 3 (when he gets back from Kindy) and give him a proper snack and tell him that that is it till dinner.
If he won't eat his dinner then he gets no dessert and he knows he won't get anything else till breakfast ...
I am not a really really strict mummy but when it comes to food I am ...
Your children will not starve themselves on purpose ... they will soon know that if you put the food away and say there is nothing else you mean it ...
Good luck

lady - I give them a 'proper meal' at lunchtime, or they have school dinners. (When they were still home I cooked). They have sandwiches at teatime.

However, I don't think it's vital that children do have a hot dinner once a day anyway - they can still eat well, as long as you make sure they are getting a good balance. They need to have some protein, plus plenty of carbs, fat, calcium, and fruit and veg with every meal. It really doesn't matter where it comes from! For my kids breakfast is most important, then dinner/lunch, what they have at teatime is just a bonus.

We don't do snacks at all, but they just don't have the energy for a big meal in the evening, and as ds2 goes to bed at 5.45, there isn't really time either!

Why don't you try cooking for dd and ds2 at lunchtime, then save some for ds1 to eat when he gets home from school, or a little later if he's not ready then.

I agree with kmg1 - sarnies are nutritious if they have good stuff in them but I know you feel you want them to have a hot dinner especially if it's cold. My ds (11 months) goes through phases of not eating anything on a spoon so I just spread dinner (whatever it is) on toast and let him get on with it. Maybe you could try this. Would they enjoy dipping sandwiches in soup or something? Dippy eggs?

Absolutely agree. The important thing is to get a variety of things down their necks - the actual form its in doesn't really matter.

My dd has started to eat less and less in the evenings, but she'll eat continuously all morning if I let her.

Lady - could your ds not have a school dinner and your dd have something at nursery? I think you may be right that tiredness is a factor.

how about home made veggie burgers made with mashed tinned beans (any kind) or cooked lentils, finely chopped, gently cooked veggies, herbs etc in a bun with salad and ketchup / home made salsa? You can make and freeze the burgers ahead. Nice with some potato wedgies. Lots of good recipes around. Fishcakes? Falafal from the supermarket in a pitta with hummus and salad?

thanks for all your suggestions - Lucy, unfortunately, there is no option, ds has to take a packed lunch, and dd's nursery is not a childcare nursery, but a nursery school which operates 9-12. Hence my problem - I'm tied. I think they are probably going thru' a bit of a fussy stage too, and I also think that dd is the basic problem, but it's difficult to isolate one when really you have to feed them all in the same way a) for your own sanity and b) on principle. I constantly think that soup is the answer, but how many times can you produce a good hearty soup before "not soup again!". Once probably!
Keep on going with the suggestions! and ta!

How about this - dice some carrot and potato into very small cubes and fry with some mince (and a little bit of stock or sauce to flavour), then fill halves of pitta bread with the mixture. Almost the same as spag bol but seems like a sandwich. Can get VERY messy to eat tho (especially if it's got too much sauce on!), but at least it's a hot meal that you might be able to get down them.