Ok I am resurrecting Christmas menu for uber food ponces discussion. Purchasers of Tesco mince pies and Bacardi Breezers need not apply.

[moondog]

I need details of Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and NYE food and drink.

Because I value the my liver! I will drink the red Non Sulphite wine because it's the only alcoholic drink that doesn't give me a terrible hangover. No amount of poncey overpriced champagne etc. is worth the pain believe me!!

Although while we're talking alcohol has anyone tried Cremant? It is the Rolls Royce of champagnes; if you see it (probably in a poncey shop) try it 'cos it is much finer and nicer, with gentle bubbles, than any of the Bolly's etc. it comes in Rose and white we love the organic one. Oh and it's a hell of a lot cheaper than champagne too. Because it can't use the name.

Duh I made a booboo there didn't I ? apologies. I forgot to mention that for the Xmas lunch main course I also make a veg option of a chestnut stuffing which is delicious.

Oh and you guessed right Jaja Baileys is SXXX.

at Slubber's having enough people who would be broadminded and unpicky enough to eat Gateau Pithiviers. This is an almond-hating house. Either I do without gorgeous almondy cakey treats, or I eat them myself and become privy-sized.

OH reshape I feel sad for you too i LOVE them and eat them a lot, I suppose your lot don't like marzipan either which IMO is one of the best things about Christmas (obviously not the oversugared ready made Txxxs stuff though; this is the poncey food thread) .

Me me me!!!! Ponce factor vital in this house!

Last year we went for full ponciness, but are struggling with new ideas for this year. I have got:

• Clementine Bellinis decorated with edible mini gold stars served with Italian taralli and something involving smoked salmon and rye bread;
• Pumpkin and almond soup (we are cooking this one this weekend to test it, so it's subject to change)
• Chestnut tortelli (homemade) with butter and sage
• (pondering a seafood risotto). Last year we had orzo and it was really good.
• Turkey ahhhh. Still pondering this one. As we have 15 people coming it's got to be turkey, but still stuck on how we cook the turkey.
• dessert is a sticking point. Buche de Noel is the forerunner at the moment.
• Panettone, torrone, mince pies....

Cheeseboard reserved for Boxing day here. No idea as to what yet, but I go to best cheesemonger in town and he is fab at pulling together something different this year. Last year we had this mature cheese that we served with lavender honey and pane carasau. Still dreaming about it.

Well now I feel like a giant fraud on this thread with my miserly french almond cake (commiserations Reshape, my life would indeed be emptier without marzipan in it

Chestnut tortellini minerva how bloody awesome does that sound.
Please tell me about the clementine bellinis.

On the turkey front, and this is not poncey at all, but this year I am providing my butcher with my own stuffing (yet to be decided) and she is boning, stuffing and rolling my turkey for me. Cannot be arsed with an epic turkey carcass sat drying out in my fridge for a week after Christmas. Am hoping the all-in-one pleasing slices mit stuffing will work both on the day and for sandwiches later in the week.

Oh, I need some assistance on the ponce front. I'm not cooking Christmas dinner (we are off to my parents) but as my DH and DF don't eat fish, I am tasked with making the non-fish starter.

The past few years I've done leek and potato soup (lazy) but I want to do something far more poncetastic this year.

Any ideas?

Can't go wrong with blini, Chemist.
I think soup a wee bit dull.
We used to bring home lots of caviar for Christmas when we lived in Russia but all gone sadly.

Slubber, hare is brave. I freak at the whole rabbit/hare thing. I can eat everything apart from that and baked beans . Agree re getting deboned turkey. V good idea. We've had goose for the last 5 years and dh now wants turkey but I'm not keen.

Rib of beef always a winner.
I always do a very rare one for Boxing Day.

Minerva, sounds heavenly.
What is taralli?

How are you planning to cook said hare anyway, Slubber?

Yes I 2nd the blinis (I even used to make them with the buckwheat flour and everything but they weren't missed when we didn't do them last year and TBH you can have too much)!! But they're usually served with sour cream and fish eggs of some type (when we can't get caviare we serve the salmon eggs). Luckily DH has work in Rumania this week so will be coming back proudly bearing the said eggs!!

Mrs Chemist wants non fish so maybe she could serve rilletes de canard or a terrine with her blinis.

Having our christmas in Fr. and having a friendly organic goose and turkey farm in the next village we've discovered a few things about turkeys which may help some of you with yr decisions.;-

1.A small turkey is tastier and (of course) easier to cook.

1. Order a hen because they have a much better, sweeter flavour than cock birds.

SlubberThat's what we did last year (but you beat me on ponciness with you making your own stuffing!!) the butcher stuffed the roll with our own choice and we carefully did not overcook it and we ALL loved it!! DH usually hates turkey hence the goose for him.

Clementine bellinis: filtered fresh clementine juice (worth getting good quality fruit) and prosecco. Alternative is the martinins in the link below: I made them last year and went down a storm (warning: 85 year old auntie Adelaide got VERY drunk on these)

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/72602/bitter-orange-and-cardamom-martinis

Taralli are savoury doughnut shaped crackers, spiked with oregano and a little bit of chilli: they originate from the Puglia region in Italy, and are perfect as a snack with your aperitif. A good alternative and one of my all-time winners is parmesan and walnut biscuits with red onion marmalade. These can also be made well in advance so no worries about timings etc.

Last year we had beef wellington - not exciting, but in the spirit of everything retro/vintage it's something to think about. Turkey: I find that the gravy either wins or kills it for me. Hence my agonising search for a recipe I like. It's a bank holiday on Thursday so it's going to be testing day chez Minerva - I will report back afterwards on the winners/losers.

A flash idea: to have a change from smoked salmon, why not try blinis with a horseradish and smoked mackerel patè?

Moondog, re the hare, it tastes nothing like rabbit, much much more gamey/venisony. The flesh before I cooked it was the most beautiful vivid pink I have ever seen. Cooking was easy; mirepoix, smoked streaky bacon, cloves, nutmeg, bay leaves, lemon rind and juice, recurrent jelly and a bit of cocoa powder. That and a bottle of Cotes du Rhone and just slow cooked. Was divine.
It's a Valentine Warner recipe and I think he knows game and how to cook it v well. Lovely intro to the recipe about how he won't eat hare any more after whilst out walking with his dad they came upon a ring of hares all sitting silently facing inwards with two hares in the centre back to back. It gave him such an odd feeling he won't eat them again.
I've never seen a hare circle so until then I'll keep eating them

Clementine bellinis are now on the list for pre dinner drinks, ta Minerva.

MrsChemist individual pates in ramekins with some little toasts?

minervaitalica your taralli sound wonderful -can you link to the recipe you use please?

Thanks :) I like the idea of pate, I'll make sure DF likes pate first though (I think he does)

Christmas eve will probably be a take away or christmas ham which i'll cook through the day (or will simmer on hob whilst i do everything else that needs doing, whilst dh is doing his christmas shopping.

Christmas brekkie is always scrambled egg with smoked salmon, homemade (got bread maker last christmas) wholemeal bread and perhaps a bucks fizz. DH has pancetta as doesn't like smoked salmon.

Lunch will be chicken liver pate with melba toast and onion marmalde, followed by an italian turkey crown (from good food mag) with slow roast belly pork, roast potatoes, parsnips, mashed carrot and turnip and sprouts. Delia's (which i've made for years) cranberry sauce and homemade apple sauce. Haven't decided on pud yet as dh doesn't eat dried fruit so it may be a trifle (obligitory over christmas) or perhaps individual steamed clementine puds. There is only dh, me and dd who will be 7 months old. To toast dd's first christmas we'll open a bottle of the fabulous Camel Valley Cornwall, left over from her christening.

Supper will be cheese and biscuits with a glass of port. If we have anything.

Boxing day is cold meat, pickles and bubble and squeak. I'll cook extra veg on Christmas day.

We stay in at new year and on new years eve will be enjoying a seafood platter, including lobster with salad, garlic mayo and homemade chips. Washed down with Cornwall.

New Years day we may go to mum's in which case it will be her wonderful meat and potato pie.

I'm determined not to buy too much this year so we're not eating leftovers forever, but the ham stock will be used for pea soup and here will be plenty of cheese in, including a somerset brie and blacksticks blue. I'm particularly looking forward to the cheese as couldn't eat it last year as I was pregnant. I'm lucky we're close to The Liverpool Cheese Shop which is divine.

I'm thinking it's wrong to start with pudding but I can't get it out of my head - Ginger-sauteed pears with Iced Mascarpone. Kids want pumpkin ravioli with sage butter to start but I'm not sure how to keep the ravioli fresh as there is no way I'm making them on Christmas day...maybe it could be a family activity for boxing day. Can't decide on main dish, was thinking fish...any ideas?

Oh how I wish I could be as poncetastic as the rest of you.

I love a good feast, and am used to big puncey feasts at special occasions, but this year we are going to PD's parents for christmas and they don'tget food, at all. His mum hates cooking and they all just view food as a source of energy, even on Christmas Day .

I have offered to cook Christmas lunch, which his mother has accepted all too happily, but DP has warned me I still have to keep things 'normal'.

I am not allowed to make a big brekfast, or christmas eve meal, as they just won't 'get it' (DP's words) and will not appreciate any effort I make with breakfast in particular, as they will just want their Special K with soy milk.

I wanted a poncey breakfast

Help me with suggestions of how I can ponce up the meal times round there without seeming to be too out there.

Over that is a bummer.
I don't know if I could cope with shite food at Christmas and NYE.I can. live on the simplest easiest stuff for most of the year but this is a time to push the boat out.

God yes, taralli sound divine as does clementine bellinis. I might go for that. I lvoe Campari & soda & pink grapefruit juice (fresh ) too as well as margaritas but important not to take the edge of a good bottle of wine and margies are lethal.

Sounds good JT. Why mess with a tried and trested menu eh?
SG, loving sound of that pumpkin ravioli.
Slubber, sounds good but hares are magical damnit! I see them in the field behind my house.

Speaking of game, I accidentally killed somethnig feathery with my car today.
Was torn between crying and stopping the car to go and get it for dinner.

On the taralli - my recipe is a family one - give me a couple of days and I will translate it for you.

SG - you can make the ravioli the day before, lay them out on trays sprinkled with polenta or semolina so they do not stick. Put them in a cool dry room (they do not need the fridge unless you live in a very hot place) - we put them in the garage and they have always been fine. I believe you can often freeze them, but I suppose it depends on the stuffing.

Over - I have the same with my in laws. They will always have the same boring overcooked food even if I laid out Michelin star stuff. Ignore, ignore: if you are cooking, then why should you eat miserable food (tell this to DP)? Just make sure they have something to eat - if they ignore the rest there is more for you and DP.

E.g. Make what you want for brekkie in small quantities: smoked salmon and scrambled eggs can be scaled down to the two of you. Ask them if they would like some: if not, let them have Special K.

What about a fish based soup: it's just soup to them but it's a prawn bisque to you (I have a good recipe if you want one).
The meat you can serve plain - roast turkey or pork or duck or whatever - just have separate poncy stuffing/sauce for the two of you or whoever wants to try it. If desperate, get some packet sauces and make those up for the philistines. Have some boiled rice handy for emergencies

Get a Tesco pud to share with the philistines, and make an additional dessert for whoever wants it: perhaps something they would recognise but with a twist? jelly and custard (make the jelly with prosecco and proper custard), bread and butter pudding (but laced with Baileys or mince meat hidden), or an old-fashioned steamed pudding (orange spongey one?). They can have the Tesco pud if they prefer.

Cheeseboard is easy: Get three cheeses so it does not look you are going overboard, just make sure one is shit cheddar so they can eat that one. Add walnuts and crackers (you can make these in advance, and pretend you bought them in asda).

Very funny, Minerva, the idea of good food cunningly masquerading as crap.
'just make sure one is shit cheddar so they can eat that one'

Hilarious!!

Dh and I often talk of the pains of going to people's houses for dinner with a really nice bottle of wine which then disappears only for a bottle of Jacob's Creek or Blossom Hill to appear. On one unfortunate occasion it was actually Lambrusco.

lol Thanks for the tips minerva, they are great!

It's not that they eat shit food, they just don't get any enjoyment out of eating food at all, (something I cannot get my head round) and they never do anything special for breakfast. They seem to think they are very 'healthy' but I just think they are boring.

I will compromise on the brekkie and supply crousants and make scrambled eggs for DS, DP and I, with enough ingredients that I can make some for them should they show an interest...

I do not know what meat we will be having, so will just work with whatever is supplied on the day, but I plan on having lots of home made sauces like red onion chutney, guinness mustard etc and lots of differnet vegetables, plus the traditional roast potatoes and yorkshires (I cannot deviate form the Roast theme).