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picky eaters - are they made or born

88 replies

Mud · 05/01/2006 18:53

I think made

OP posts:
bossykate · 08/01/2006 18:46

born. but if i had had easy dd first instead of picky ds, i'm sure i would have said made

Twiglett · 08/01/2006 18:47

ha .. my sister on the one hand tells me I'm too strict with my children and on the other hand tells me how lucky I am that they are so good

make of that what you will

kleist · 08/01/2006 19:43

PotPourri, I don't think it's a thing of our times at all. I was a terrible eater but my older brother was great. My mother was apparently a fantastic eater while her sister was dire - they grew up as very very poor immigrant Jewish tailors so I doubt they had options to throw uneaten food away.

calcium · 08/01/2006 19:46

I don't think they are born fussy eaters but I do believe they can very quickly become them.

Both my dds ate everything when I weaned them now dd1 who would eat all things healthy is totally obcessed with chocolate, biscuits, cake and icecream. This is probably man made as we didn't give it to her. dd2 again ate everything apart from fruit which dd1 lived off. she will however eat it if its an Organix puree! she eats when she wants to whereas dd1 will NEVER turn down food.

I don't know whats better i am terrified that they will get over weight and as I have always had a weight issue and although not over weight myself I am sure I am making it worse.

I know people who say they have bowls of sweets around the house and this means that their children eat them when the want but I know if I did that my children would ONLY eat sweets.

we would be rich women if we could crack this one!

kleist · 08/01/2006 19:52

I think a distinction needs to be made between genuinely fussy / small eaters and kids who'd rather eat crisps / chocolate etc. Because it seems to me that the former you can't do anything about but the latter is a problem caused by what you give them as options.

fullmoonfiend · 08/01/2006 20:05

"The palate is formed at two years . What one eats at two dictates our tastes for the rest of our lives" so spake GGG's friendly pead.
So when my 2 were two, they would eat anything. Why why why are they picky now??? Anyway, really am going to have to parp myself on this thread!

bossykate · 08/01/2006 20:09

good point, kleist.

CatBert · 08/01/2006 20:18

It's a hard one. We have the ability to offer SOOOOO many varieties of foodstuffs, that sometimes I think we worry when despite our children having a reasonably varied diet, and reasonably healthy things, if they won't eat salmon, olives, pesto, etc etc we think they will NEVER eat them!

Of course, I can list a whole variety of stuff I wouldn't touch as a child, but developed a taste for as an adult. Chilli, curries, olives, Chinese food, raw onions and, obvious as those may be, also strawberries and tomatoes. My mother was/is a great home cook, but we lived on very similar things week in, week out. S&K pie, cauliflower cheese, roast meals, cod in parsley sauce, stews, salads, apple pies and rice puds plus the usual range of "nursery" teas such as boiled eggs, beans on toast, Cheese on toast etc. So we had a good diet, but the levels of variety of today? Today at 35, there is pretty much nothing I havn't tried, and not much I wouldn't eat again. Apart from widgety grubs!

I think that a true fussy eater is probably born.

A fussy easter can also me "made" by reinforcement. Of all the mums I know, there's not one who hasn't at some point been stressed about food. Me included. And I HAVE pretty good eaters. Just some days they won't eat anything (even their favourite dishes) except cheese, or tomatoes, or ANYTHING (except I KNOW they would eat their body weight in chocolate, sweets, icecream given half a chance). The next day they will eat anything offered.

A mothers desire to nourish their children is built in at the core. It begins with the stress and constant discussion about how we feed our newborns, and continues onwards. It gives us pleasure to see our children feed. Sometimes however, this desire can lead us to let them have anything, just so long as they ARE eating.

cutekids · 08/01/2006 20:19

All depends on the child i reckon. My 7 yr old daughter was brilliant at taking her bottle when i dictated! as soon as she went on to solids she was terrible...i've sat her on window sills and the bath just to distract her into eating her baby food! now she loves most things ... especially very hot curries etc. However, my 6 yr old son will eat veggies and fruit - and sweets i have to say!- by the bucket load and my 5 yr old eats nothing but junk!!!Just a matter of time in my opinion ... and attitude!

SenoraPostrophe · 08/01/2006 20:21

dd will eat anything (she is 3). ds is picky as anything and stubborn to boot (will eat meal one week but not the next). he is 2.

Before ds was born I would have said picky eaters are made. I now know they are born, or at least most are.

drosophila · 08/01/2006 20:22

My DP is the fussiest eater I know. He would rather go hungry than eat something that was not perfect. He is very slim.

I was a very fussy eater as a child and I still won't eat butter or marge or any spread on bread. I won't drink tea or coffee. I don't like anything too oily and hate things like orange peel and nuts.

DD real fussy eater but had loads of severe allergies and probably views food with a certain amount of fear.

What are the chances my DD will be a fussy eater. I think genes have something to do with it.

nooka · 08/01/2006 21:00

I agree with the combination thing, my ds has always been keen to try new things (although as a baby that was about all - the weaning months were a complete and utter nightmare!) he eats lots and likes most things. dd on the other hand really dislikes new things, and for a while would refuse to eat anything if there was something new on her plate. She's getting better, but hates anything combined, and I suspect has texture issues, and a probably a better sense of taste than her brother (oh, and a sweet tooth). But then he is a lot more energetic, and very skinny, so I wonder if on the whole he is also hungrier than she is (she also eats very slowly). She is also stubborn, and none of those ideas in kids cookery books help (she doesn't care what we are eating, or how pretty it looks, and as for disguising things...)
However, I am still determined that by the time she leaves home she will be eating anything put in front of her like me and my brothers and sisters as it is a huge pain to be fussy, and you miss out on so many nice things.

kleist · 08/01/2006 21:35

I'd guess that most people have some food or other, some texture or other, that really turns their stomach. With a genuinely fussy child, not one who's trying to control their diet because they like nuggets and chips best, there are a greater number of things that turn them off. You can offer the things they can't face over and over again and they still won't eat them - nor would we with the things we loathe the thought of. Instead of bulldozing these kids I think a certain amount of sensitivity is necessary with a fussy eater. My dd is genuinely 'upset' at the sight / feel of some foods (in her case it's 'sloppy' foods like stews or soups) and will happily skip a meal if that's what's on offer. She doesn't throw a strop and demand a bowl of icecream. She just politely asks to leave the table.

I do question what it is that makes us as mothers think it's our duty to force upon our children foods that might genuinely turn their stomachs because of a principle that they 'should' eat what they're given.

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