Can anyone help me to make a pirate ship cake?

[witchyhills]

Messed up order for ds's cake and it's not going to be ready on time
I have no scales and no cake tins, so any sneaky cheating tips would be much appreciated!

the lack of scales, tins etc could be a problem. That being the case I wouldn't try and make a cake at all.

Buy a chocolate loaf cake, the bigger the better, cut out a section in the middle to make it look like a ship, then buy some of that Betty Cocker chocolate buttercream icing and completely cover the cake in it. Then you just need to create some masts using paper and wooden kebab sticks and stick on Cadbury's fingers as cannons and Malteasers as cannon balls.

I did the same sort of thing (made the cake myself though) for DS1's birthday last year. The good thing about the suggestion above is that you should be able to get everything from the nearest co-op or Tesco express

Yes that's what I'm looking for. Betty Cocker you say?!
Sounds so easy!
I am useless at this
I could buy cake tins, but I really have nowhere to put scales.

sorry Betty Crocker, but yes it is amazing stuff.It comes in a tub and you just spread it straight on to your cake, mmmmm

what about getting a cake made ? When do you need it for ?
I mean you can order a cheap cake from tescos, you know one of those that you normally pay to have a photo put on, and it can be ready the next day. The you just cut it about a bit. cut out a shape a bit like a flat rugby ball. then another one a bit bigger, put that on top, and another a bit bigger, put that on top again. and you have a ship shape ( and bristol fashion !!).
Then what about matchmakers for mast? = edible and lovely.
for the sails, in my tescos they sell like thin sheets of icing type paper. could be perfect?
Love the ideas of maltesers as cannonballs, as suggested. brilliant.
HTH

Rectangular tray cake. Then do this

I was going to post up the M&S one from a book my mum had in the 80s, but I'm not sure where the book is! The above one is similar, and has photos

If you don't have any cake tins or scales then I wouldn't try to make a cake at all. Buy a rectangular or loaf type cake (it needs to be firm. Madeira is best) then cut up into layers. Cut each layer into graduated trapezoid shapes and stick them back together with butter icing to resemble the boat shape then stick two rectangular bits on both ends of the deck to complete the ship shape.
Cover the cake with a thin layer of butter icing to seal the cake. When it's dry, cover it thickly with chocolate butter icing. Use maltesers for canon balls, make patterns on the ship using the back of teaspoon when the icing is almost set.. Have a look at my profile for ideas on how you can decorate a pirate ship cake. It's pretty minimalist.
Hope that helps.

Slightly off topic, but scales don't need to be the big counter hogging type. Completely unnecessary. I have flat compact scales from salter, not much bigger than a small pack of napkins, that does the job perfectly and lives in my kitchen drawer.

Something like this

Yes what Gemjar said. You don't have to make it out of one cake - you can cobble together 2-3 Madeira cakes into the right shape/size for your party with jam, and then carve a bit out in the middle and make it pointy at one end and cover with icing.

Also think about what you are going to put it on - a big wooden chopping board covered with foil taped down underneath is good. Or cut a piece of wood the right size and cover i. Build your shaped cake in the middle of it and tuck pieces of greaseproof paper/ kitchen towel all around the cake so it is sitting on a skirt. Once you've finished decorating take the paper away with all the drips and crumbs and leave the foil base neat.

Thanks so much, birthday party was yesterday, cake was a big success!
I bought 2 big chocolate cakes and cut the up to make the pirate ship shape
Then iced with Betty crocker icing. Silver and coloured balls for treasure with honeycomb pieces and gold coins.
Curlywurlys for rails, plain chocolate bar for the plank.
Sails made out of skewers and card
Blue icing for sea.
Had to cut up a box that a present came in to make the board for it to go on. Very funnY
Will try and post a photo later on!
Thank you all so much

pic on my profile
thanks all

You haven't made it public I'm afraid. Make it public so that we can admire it please! :)

my computer crashed!
should be there now

That looks fantastic! V impressed

Lovely. I especially like the curly wurlies for railings. Inspired use of confectionary

I hope your DS was appreciative.

Well done. That looks great. It seems the order mishap was a blessing in disguise.

What a fab cake. Well done. I too absolutley LOVE the Curly-wurly's, they are a stroke of genius.

How fantastic! Congratulations!

Ah thanks, I'm not very domesticated or artistic so I was quite pleased with it
Ds loved it, although he did sneak in the fridge and eat the plank, so that needed a bit of attention.