"Oh thank you dearest mother, a deliciously original spin on our childish favourites, you really shouldn't have bothered"....

[motherinferior]

...yeah, right, in my dreams.

Along with "of course we won't pick at our first course then fling ourselves on seconds like starving locusts" and "but at the same time will clearly recognise the difference between lovingly hand-crafted pudding and a cheaply nasty ice cream bought by our father".

Harrumph. Don't know why I bother. Well, actually I do, it's because I'm getting the chance to eat things I like, hahahahaha. But it's still pretty damn galling. Am I alone, eh?

Awww - McDonald's for tea then?

I have given up
although I did make some ovaltine and peanut butter icecream in order to get protein and b vitamins down ds2, he eats it in a cone with hundreds and thousands. I did tell ds1 it was homemade and the best but he just humoured me.

We have a new ice cream maker (passed on through complicated route). I can already see they won't be able to tell the difference between that and the cheapest and nastiest shop-bought.

I will though

I used to ask my mother when she was going to get some proper (ie white sliced) bread and stop giving us that homemade muck. I was a horrible child!

Still ask her, but don't mean it now

Home made icecream is REALLY good and REALLY easy to make, MI. I made some fig and brandy ice cream over Christmas which was really good ("Oh, you don't like it sweetie - give mummy your bowl and you can have a satsuma").

oooh, Anchovy, can you send me the recipe? Even Mister Oh Just Chocolate Ice Cream And No Bits In It Thank You might go for that.

Actually I also want to make brown bread ice cream. Delish.

Mmmmm..fig and brandy

Ok - its in Delia's Christmas book. I'll dig it out later tonight. Uses those semi-dried figs, cream and 1 tbsp of custard powder (which i think sort of stabilises it) plus a couple of tbsps of brandy (I upped Delia's wimpy little amount very satisfactorily). You can change it to a prune and armagnac recipe, which I am going to try next (or will after Jan sobriety/frugality)

oh god those semi dried ones with honey that you get from cypriot delis, they are to die for
I used to do canapes with them steeped in balsamic vinegar

Oh yes, Jan will be a month of no booze and no sugar for me, too. And lots of exercise. I feel quite energised by the very prospect.

OK - before you get to January, try this:

350g no soak dried figs;
275ml water
25g soft brown sugar
570ml milk
4 egg yolks
110g caster sugar
0.5 tsp vanilla extract
1 rounded tsp custard powder
2 tbsps brandy (I put in a bit more than this, but I think if you put in too much it won't freeze properly)
150ml double cream

Put figs, brown sugar & water in saucepan. simmer for about 10 mins or until figs are plump and tender. Take off heat, cover and leave until completely cold. Drain off liquid, snip off tops and puree with the milk until smooth. sieve.

Whisk egg yolks, custard powder caster sugar and vanilla together. Bring milk & fig mixture to the boil, then pour over egg mixture. Return whole lot to the saucepan and bring to the boil gently, whisking to keep smooth.

Let the custard cool before combining it with bandy and double cream (lightly whipped so that it holds its shae). Churn in ice cream maker then put in freezer.

Take out about 30 mins before needed.

Sounds a bit fiddly but it is really worth it. Variant is 350g no-soak prunes in 425ml water for 20 mins, no vanilla and Armagnac instead of brandy.

Brown bread ice cream, on the other hand, sounds positively like wholefood.

Have you tried Christmas pudding ice-cream? It's fab, much nicer than Christmas pudding.

All you have to do is make vanilla ice cream and crumble some Christmas pudding into it when it's mixing.

We had Xmas Pud Icecream for the Xmas Menu in the restaurant and it was fab!

DH also makes DELISH balsamic vinegar icecream which is to die for.

What gets to me is when I cook from scratch all week - Shepherd's Pie, curry, spaghetti bolognese, roast chicken, salmon steaks, stir fries, whatever. Then on Saturday I think I deserve a night off so dh and I have a takeaway and I bung a couple of bought pizzas in the oven for the kids. The pizzas arrival on the table is greeted with cries of rapture "ooooh, Mum, thanks - I love pizza. Mmmmmmm....this is gorgeous. I wish we could have this every night." Bloody kids

One of the only times I've been seriously over the top nasty to my sons to the extent where I felt truly ashamed because I was demented with rage (as opposed to a bit snappy which happens frequently) involved an untasted homemade stew.

lol

Anchovy, that looks divine.

Brown bread ice cream is actually amazingly pralineish. Slaver. And I am also reading all the ice cream recipes in Aloha's copy of Real Food which I ahem borrowed off her this afternoon.

You can make the Christmas pudding icecream using mincemeat rather than pudding. Its yummy!