Do I have a point or am I being a spoilt brat. You may be honest.

[Mincepiedermama]

Once again this year my dh has just assumed that he'd be better at cooking christmas dinner than me. There wasn't even a consultation. I just noticed he'd started buying stuff for it then began to tell me his plan for the meal.

OK, OK it's not the worst form of abuse he could dish out, none the less, I'm reading threads about roast potatoes and feeling a little .

Does not the cook, after all, afford him/herself a particular sort of parental christmas status on the day?

I have to admit he's the better cook on the whole but I'm pretty good and expecially when I apply myself (which I would on Christmas day).

Well? Do I have a point? Or should I sit back down and think myself lucky blah blah blah?

you can come and copok mine, looks like it'll be xmas at home.

not spoilt. Just cross you weren't consulted.

can you plan a fab meal on Christmas Eve?

Yes I could Enid. Or perhaps I could upstage him with a pudding to die for.

I would be over the moon if dh said he was going to cook and I wouldn't care what is was either. I also have the lovely MIL this year who has already told me that she doesn't like my cooking. She has previously said that she likes to satay with us but would prefer to have her dinner at her brothers. She is foreign and doesn't like the wierd english food that I cook.

Well ... I think you're very lucky, but I do also think that you have a point. Although I have to say that as I do all the cooking in this house, there's never any consulation here either - just an automatic assumption that I'll cook the Christmas lunch.

I don't think I afford myself any kind of status for doing the cooking ... unless you count getting sweaty and hot under the collar as status? If you really want to cook the meal, then you have to tell him ... as I would expect my dh to do if he wanted to do it.

I would be over the moon if dh said he was going to cook and I wouldn't care what is was either. I also have the lovely MIL this year who has already told me that she doesn't like my cooking. She has previously said that she likes to satay with us but would prefer to have her dinner at her brothers. She is foreign and doesn't like the wierd english food that I cook.

You definitely do have a point - could you share the dinner-making duties with dh? You make the main and he makes starter and pudding maybe?

ooh yes amazing pudding

saw a lovely recipe somewhere (was it here?) for chocolate and christmas pudding cheesecake

as long as he also washes up I wouldn't sweat it personally

Blimey, can see your point but would be pretty happy that he's doing stuff tbh. My partner thinks we should only start to talk about we're going to eat on Christmas Eve.

My dh wants to do the dinner and I'm not going to argue. I will however offer assistance to ensure it is edible

I would be miffed and then I would hi-jack a part of the dinner. Something important like the stuffing or the gravy or the starter

You are being a brat.

You have been ill and DH wants to spoil you.

Be nice and consider yourself lucky to have a nice DH.

ditto with collision. enjoy!

Enjoy it girl,theres enough to do on Christmas day, though does that mean you will be doing the washing up, cause I would rather cook than washup

I was thrilled when dh and ds took on the Christmas Dinner a few years ago - until I was presented with overcooked turkey, a sludgy mush of cold, overcooked veg all mixed up together - and so it went on. YUK! Now we ALL do it.

I think you could suggest cooking part of the meal eg starter or pud. I expect your dh is doing this with the best of intentions so I'd try not to upset him.

I don't think you're being a brat..I agree with you about the special status of being the chef on Christmas day!! My dh and I do the whole thing together, we even peel the sprouts and make the stuffing together (it probably takes longer because we discuss everything like a pair of cowboy builders) but it is more fun!! And all the oldies get shut in the other room with the kids. It's the only break I get all year

I was talking to a friend about this, her dp has done the same as yours, and what annoys her is that it's only the big "glory performance" at Christmas he wants to monopolise...you don't see him elbowing her out of the kitchen when it's time to do the kids' fish fingers and bloody waffles again, or mix Ready Brek "just so it's nice" at 7am!!!

Can't you tell him that you feel a bit pushed out, although you are touched that he wants to look after you...and that you will be embarassed on the day if he has done it all, and do it together?

I'm sure I'll be contracted in to peel spuds and sprouts, not to mention washing up. But he'll be the creative force behind the whole event, as usual.

I suppose it's only natural. When he is around he is head chef in the house because he's a really good cook.

They'll all be sitting there saying 'Wow! This is delicious. Thanks Spiderdada' instead of, 'Gosh! Who peeled these sprouts? What a great job. And I've never tasted such brilliantly peeled spuds in my life'.

Ok. I'm being an ingrate.

I'm now going away to concoct the most fabulous pudding ever, ever to grace a Christmas table ever.

Idea welcome (as long as they're currant/raison/sultana free )

yes, I can see exactly where you are coming from and I would probably feel the same. try negotiating next year? or would your dh feel unappreciated?
what about new year dinner?

No-one in our house like x/mas pudding, so I do a selection of things like;

lemon cheesecake
Raspberry pavalova
home made apple pie (or crumble) and custard

Yes. Brat.

Put feet up, enjoy kids and relax.

DH always cooks christmas lunch, even the one year when we went to my Mums He just cooks fantastic roast dinners, so we all enjoy it & he gets loads of praise. I get to swan around with the sherry & make sure he starts it in time to eat at lunchtime (he can get a bit lax with the timings). Don't see a problem with it actually. He does get lots of praise, but then I always get the thanks off the kids for items bought during the year, when he's out working so I think it evens out.

I think you're lucky that your dh is planning, buying and cooking the dinner. Dh would do the cooking if i asked him but i'd have to buy the food and clear up afterwards which totally defeats the whole point.

My dad has cooked the majority of our Christmas dinners btw- he sometimes cooks sunday dinner as well. mum does the majority of the cooking at their house but these are the exceptions

I've been relieved of main course duties this year by ex's daughter, but volunteered to do the pud. Am doing chocolate brownies with vanilla ice cream for the kids, and trifle for the oldies. Nigella has a fancy trifle recipe in Domestic Goddess that has meringue, passion fruit and some obscure liqueur in it - not the one I'm making but it looked lovely.

Just a couple of ideas for you.