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Original poster

she wont eat

15 replies

hermykne · 20/10/2003 20:52

today was bad, i ended up crying at tea, asking my dd of one to eat something for me.

she consistly has refused, i've posted b4 about it and really thought it was a phase but there has been no improvement

yesterday we went to lunch with a friend who invited her friend whose dd was born the exact same day as mine and my husband said when we came home our dd really is petite.....

so i just am at my wits end, do i keep offering her meals,b4 you all say feed her irregularly, anytime, etc etc (dont mean to be snappy but tired at this stage)
will she be ok or will she get every cold etc going
i just need a boost.

OP posts:

LIZS · 20/10/2003 21:09

Our dd is really petite too and an erratic eater. Sometimes she will eat loads but more often she'll have a couple of meals where she will eat mainly veg or mainly meat then some days very little. She has been feeding herself since about 14 months and I discovered to my cost with ds that it is not worth forcing it.

The more you react the more she will think it is a game. She is more likely to eat if you let her choose from her own plate and let her refusals pass. One thing I bear in mind is to make every mouthful count - serve healthy but calorie packed meals like pasta. Does she drink a lot of milk - our dd is just coming out of phase of this but still loves yoghurt. Do you eat the same food with her ?

Despite being the average size of a one year old our 2 yr old dd is perfectly healthy, active and otherwise quite advanced according to her paediatrician, so please don't let that worry you in itself. Obviously if she loses weight or is unwell then you'd probably want to see a dr. dh and I were both slight as youngsters but ds is already catching up his peers at 5.5 so I am less worried for her.

hth

tinyfeet · 20/10/2003 21:11

Goes thru stages - sometimes eats well, sometimes not. Don't worry about it. Is she getting lots of milk? Is she sick now? My DD never ate anything when she had a cold. Try lots of different things, not necessarily 'meals'. Try yoghurt, fruit, cut up veggies, cheeze, - none of these are really meals, but DD loves them, and when she doesn't eat, that is what I give her. Good luck! DD's doctor said to remember that she should get a variety of foods - so try lots of little things.

JanHR · 20/10/2003 21:11

Hi there, My dd is not a big eater either. She is 14 months old but only weighs about 20lb
My health visitors are not worried about her so I don't see why I should be.
Some days she will eat evetything that is put in front of her, but on others she hardly eats a thing.
Are you and your DH/DP small? My DD is petite but I am under 5ft and DP is about 5ft 6in so DD will not be that tall anyway.
As long as she does eat something I would not worry too much

Chinchilla · 20/10/2003 21:12

If she doesn't want to eat, then don't force her. I know it is hard, but she will not starve herself. My ds is 2, and he often goes to bed with no supper, because he won't eat what I have prepared for him. He doesn't wake in the night due to hunger, so I guess that he just doesn't need the food. When he is hungry (we are having a spell of him eating again), he eats loads.

Your dd knows that food is an issue for you, and will use this to her advantage. If you try (and I know it is hard! ) to not let her see that you are upset, then she will realise that she is not getting to you.

ames · 20/10/2003 21:40

My dd is 20 months and weighs 1 stone 7 which she has done for quite a while. Try not to compare your dd with any other child, no children are the same and there's no right or wrong. When dd started walking (just before her 1st birthday) everbody said how tiny she was and how she was too small to be walking! She is still petite, still a small eater but has never really been that fussed about food, she will eat when she feels hungry but she's certainly not unhealthy or more prone to catching colds etc.
My advice is to offer food at regular intervals, I try to make it look appealing but I never offer something different just a main course and a pudding (regardless of wether she eats the main course as she is just as likely to leave the pudding) but I never try to force her to eat anything. Its been hard but I have learnt not to get upset or count the mouthfulls that she has. Neither do I serve her up a huge platefull I think that sometimes this can discourage them from even trying to eat it.
1 is a difficult age when they are becoming more independant and the world is just to exciting to sit down and eat and your dd is not unusual. Try to look on the bright side - clothes last longer and it's just as concerning for them to eat too much and get fat.
Hang in there and try to stay clam, she's not trying to upset you and it will upset her if you get too upset about what she's eating. It does get easier when you can communicate with each other better. Sorry its so long, but I know how hard it is.

SueW · 20/10/2003 21:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Original poster

hermykne · 20/10/2003 21:46

oh thanks for those messages. my dh phoned tonight and i am nearly crying to him about it...

LIZS - yes she eats pasta but can u believe only the M & S stars one for kids. and i get her the pic & mix cheese so she can choose. my bf suggested the frozen veg mixes - sweetcorn, petit pois etc, she ate a few but is more likely to mush them on the high chair.

she does love milk
but do you think i should let herhave more than the recommended amt? shes slow to take from her cup at lunch and looks for the bottle mid afternoon .

JanHR i am so glad you are similar to me, theres another girl contributing Corky, and her dd is one wk younger than mine and is fussy.
we are average build and weight bt we both love cooking and food, so its just so upseeting when i cook and she just refuses.

Chinchilla and the rest of you

thanks very much for that moral boost, i needed it before igo to bed.

as long as know she'll be ok and from your experiences she will be

thanks again

OP posts:

Original poster

hermykne · 20/10/2003 21:55

Ames
thats a good one about clothes, a jkt my mum bought her last still fits her which i am quite happy about as its a very pretty jkt!
i do offer it a regular intervals so thats something, she certainly is asserting herself as well with food and other things now shes 1!

SueW - my friend did say she is surpriseingly energetic for not eating and yesterday at the lunch party she was all go with the other kids, so she runs on fresh air i think! i've started to leave the food there, cold as you say, and sometimes i bump into her coming aound a corner with a mouthful or handful of pasta or whatever.

i am concerned she wont develop her tastes to other things - that curiousity you have to try things out she doesnt seem to have it.

reminds me of my sister who was atrocious at eating that i ate her dinner so we could leave the table!

thanks

OP posts:

ames · 20/10/2003 23:01

Just to pick on your point about not devolping a taster for different things. DD has become more willing to try things since she's about 18 months - it's mainly the things that I'm eating! She's surprised me by eating things such as garlic bread and my chinese takeaway! My dd also loves pasta, spaghetti bolegnese is a firm favourite but she will not eat potato in any form. I've tried chips, mashed, roast and boiled so I concentrate on the pasta and rice. Every so often I'll give her potato but she's always left it so far.

slug · 21/10/2003 13:26

It's just a thought, but my niece was like that as a child, in fact at 11 she still refuses to eat all but the most restrictive of diets. What has become apparant as she has gotten older is that she appears to have extremly sensitive tastebuds. She can detect the merest hint of garlic or spice in anything and will promptly reject it. My sister had huge battles with her over food until she worked this out.

Does your daughter like to drink? When the sluglet isn't eating, we give her drinking yoghurt. Admittedly it's expensive, I get the organic stuff from Borough market and keep a stock in the freezer. I've also been known to offer fruit smoothies, babana, youghurt and any stray fruit in the blender, which goes down a treat.

Original poster

hermykne · 21/10/2003 19:36

slug, my dd loves her milk and shes good with water as well, she'll drink lots of it too.
today was better, she ate a grape! and as i ran out of baby M & S pasta i got it for tea and she ate it, as she refused the other types i offered her??!!fussy

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 21/10/2003 19:38

Mine won't eat recently either and she's 14 months. Try cutting back on the bottles if you are bottle feeding, esp the mid afternoon one. It seemed to help a bit.

Mine is built like a rugby player though so I don't really worry.

Original poster

hermykne · 22/10/2003 18:37

coutess
i try so hard to limit the milk. shec an be a munchin though and get more out of me if i feel terrible after her refusing.
but progress to day she ate pureed fruit as well as her pasta and grapes, so hers hoping .
taking her to HV tomorrow to be weighed and we'll see what the very serius lady says...!!

OP posts:

tinyfeet · 22/10/2003 18:39

Hermykne, I found there was no need to actually cut the bottle out. Just change the timing of it. Sounds like she is doing better already, but wait on the bottle until after you've fed her. It is likely she'll still take the milk, but after she's eaten. Good luck tomorrow.

Original poster

hermykne · 25/10/2003 20:21

shes much better tis week
actually eating peas and corn as well as pasta, back on the fruit and her usual breakfast.
so progress, maybe it was her slow coming teeth as she now has 4 on top.
took her to be wieghed at health centre on thurs and of all days i plan and actually go it was closed, i couldnt believe it!

many thanks

OP posts:

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