I was very late getting a diagnosis for my ds, who has to avoid milk, eggs, peanuts. Therefore I do too as bfing. The only way he could have been exposed to these is through my breast milk. If you see a massive improvement, as you have, it is really motivating to follow a milk free diet. It helps that dark chocolate has no milk in it, no chocolate would be a really hard one for me to follow.
When you say the paed has advised against soya, do you mean for you or for dd?
My ds is now nearly eight months and we have been "doing" solids for a couple of months now. Its really slow going introducing one food at a time, and avoiding all other common allergens but he eats a really healthy diet. I have noticed he doesn't put things into his mouth - I think this is mother natures way of preventing him swallowing something that could harm him.
As far as tips go - I take probiotics, and also give them to ds in pear puree. I'm not sure how you get them into a younger baby, but apparently they are the business for strengthening the gut and preventing further allergies. I have seen massive improvement in my ds's eczema since starting them.
I go to vegan cafes as I can eat the cakes there. I ask to see the ingredient list for everthing and if in doubt I leave it out. I always explain about allergies if shops haven't labelled things properly.
As your dd has shown himself to be allergic - and quite dramatically so with the blood in her poos, delay solids until at least six months. Although its a pain in the bum to have to give up milk and cheese etc. breastfeeding really is best to prevent long term allergies.
Good luck auntynon and come on and chat anytime you really really miss eating something.