Meal Time Trauma

[tid]

I've really reached breaking point with this. DD (19 months) used to be a great eater - ate just about anything that came at her on a spoon. Over the last 3 months or so she has stopped eating anything apart from finger-type foods (except breakfast cereal) and will not go within 10 feet of a vegetable.

I have tried so many different tactics and still it either ends in tears (for us both) or a plate of untouched dinner. I give her vegetables with every meal - they are ignored. I do not give her something else if she doesn't like what I have prepared. She does not eat biscuits or snacky things but instead has fruit for snacks or pudding (if she eats her dinner).

She goes to nursery 1.5 days per week and they have expressed concerns that she is still not eating her main courses. They no longer give her puddings (at my request) but give her fruit instead.

It has been suggested that if I want her to start eating a variety of food then even the fruit has to stop as she has had two days of nothing but corn flakes, fruit, water and milk.

I can see the point, but in reality it breaks my heart to do this. She's a clever girl and understands an awful lot of what is said to her, but I don't think she quite understands "If you eat this you can have pudding". I've tried ignoring her, making a fuss if she even attempts to try something, making things attractive on the plate....and everything else that has been suggested.

Is it really bad to leave things as they are for now? Is 3 months too long to be a "just a phase"? Should I be forcing the issue? Is a variety of fruit, grains and protein good enough for now?

I don't want to be stressed over this, but I really am and it's taking a toll on me and DD - surely that can't be a good thing!? Sorry for the ramble - I'm really confused and upset and would appreciate thoughts on the subject. Big thanks in advance.

Sorry that I have no advice,just sympathy.My 27 month dd1 is doing the same thing-she has gone to bed with no tea for 5 nights out of 7,as I refuse to cook something different & then have her refuse that too.She is only really eating breakfast now,plus a few bites of apple,the odd grape ect.

Our situation has been going on for a couple of months now,but like your dd,she is a clever girl & I'm sure she is trying it on to some extent & I'm determined not to give in to her.Tonight I even considered not giving her milk in case she is filling up on it rather than food,but daren't as she is so skinny anyway .

There are lots of vitamins & minerals in cereal,but like you,I wish she'd eat proper food again.

Does your dd have any siblings?I have gotten dd1 to eat her tea by threatening to give it to dd2 (who is 6 months but will attempt to eat anything).Failing that I have eaten it myself.I'm just sick of throwing away perfectly good food.

I hope someone who has beaten this problem will come along with some advice.

This is all perfectly normal. I think you're doing sensible things, but I'd just avoid struggles. Food is served. It is eaten, it isn't eaten, whatever. As long as everything they get to eat has some nutritional value (fruit is fine, candy not), then I really wouldn't sweat it.

My DS1 has gone through phases of not really eating much, except for his morning cereal. And phases where he eats more. Now, at four, he is required to:

a) try everything he's served. He has to have a few mouthfuls.
b) not whinge, not say "eww this is gross" etc.
c) if he doesn't like it, don't eat it, no fuss made.
d) if he starts liking something new/difficult/etc, much praise is offered. (he's now started pretending to like things that he doesn't actually like. He doesn't eat much of them, but he sounds appreciative, which I guess is a good skill.)
e) dessert is only available if he eats a reasonable amoutn of his main course.

The thing is, at four, you can do these things. You can't ask them of a 19-month-old.

nqc having a 4yo and an 18 mo I had a wry smile at your last sentence and thought "oh so true". I think this is a common age to have food troubles and it is so hard to not build it up into a big thing. DD is eating much less than she used to do although fortunately the small amount she does eat is still fairly varied. TBH I would keep going as you are doing and eventually she will have a growth spurt and start eating more. If she is big on finger food try and keep a big variety of that going.

Oh wow Tid, thought I was the only one with this problem(?).

DS2 (22 months)was an amazing eater until about 4 weeks ago. He will eat 2 weetabix, slice of wholemeal toast wiht marmite and a fruit yogurt for breakfast. Then that's it, no matter what I tempt him with, he will not eat it.

We don't make a big deal out of it, just take the food away after he refuses it and let him down from the table.

I give him his milk before he goes to bed and that's it!! I'm working on the line, htat he'll not starve to death. When he's ready he'll start eating again.

I thought it was because of the new baby, but looks like it's just a phase.

The thing is, for the first year, they gain weight really quickly, and need to eat a lot. Sometime between 1 and 2, they have to slow down, or they'd be elephant-sized.

Oh, one thing that always helped with DS1 was to never give a big serving of anything. Always little bits. If they want more later, they can have more, but a large serving is often daunting.

rtl I struggle to get DD to eat one weetabix and a small yoghurt at breakfast time.

2 Weetabix, toast and yogurt is a lot of breakfast for a 22-month-old. But then he doesn't eat anything else, the rest of the day? I'd consider cutting down on breakfast, and spreading his eating out more, but it doesn't really matter when he eats.

Notquitecockney..you're telling me it's a big breakfast I's more that dp eats!!

Yup have tried smeller breakfast, still doesn't eat during the day, but wakes up earlier (5am) screaming for his breakfast. Refuse to make an issue of it and as I said earlier, I'm sure he wont starve

Have tried everything from getting him to prepare his dinner with me, to giving him tiny portions, to making funny shapes with the food.

The thing is I know he's hungry because he'd eat more weetabix if I gave it to him!!!

But knowing that other toddlers are doing the same thing makes me feel a lot better.

We give small portions of whatever meal is going at each meal time, plus a small pudding if she had eaten at least some of the main. Also reasonably healthy snacks in between. Fruit, bread and cheese she can have any time she asks for it. I wouldn't bother stopping the fruit personally.

Just found this pearl of wisdom

What do toddlers need to eat

Most toddlers will only eat between 1 to 2 "meals" per day. You will notice as the day progresses that you toddler becomes less and less hungry. It's common for toddlers to eat great at breakfast, eat "ok" at lunch and come dinner time, eat either miniscule bites or leave behind a 99% full plate.

If you think that your toddler should be eating a full meal at each mealtime, take heart - your toddler won't and does not need to eat 3 full meals per day! What your toddler does need is at least 1000 calories per day, according to the AAP.

Found it here

Sounds exactly how my ds2 is eating!!