Explaining our non meat diet to our 3 year old

[Allegrogirl]

My DH is veggie and I used to be but now occasionally eat fish (2-3 times per month). DD is 3.6 and we would prefer for her to not eat meat. She is eating fish as she is really fussy with food and will often not eat my home made veggie creations. My main concern is farming welfare so I am not opposed to eating non endangered, non farmed fish. DH is against eating animals full stop.

We haven't talked at all about our food choices and she hasn't noticed yet that she sometimes has different food at nursery to the other children. We're now getting to the point were she can help herself to food at friends/family/party gatherings. How and when do we explain that we don't want her munching sausage rolls? If she wants to eat meat at some point I guess we will let her but I'd prefer it was good quality stuff. DH is more hard line on this than me.

You are over thinking this.

I think, like any parent, all you can reasonably control is the food your child eats at home. You can ask party hosts and family not to offer her animal products and you can explain to your child that you don't agree with eating animals (or however you want to phrase it). As her parent she's probably going to do what you say while she's small, but I don't think you can realistically prevent her from trying other foods for ever.

What a silly response pinky

My children were veggies until they were 5 and 7 (mainly because I wasn't well off enough to give them organic meat so felt it was better for them not to have it) - it just isn't that hard. No need to go into detailed explanations so a three year old. It's only being a veggie and this is making very hard work of it.

My two eldest children have coeliacs and one of those diabetes so we do have lots of dietary considerations which do need explaining - they are older almost 8 and almost 10 so it is easier and necessary but as a parent of a three year old it is a doddle to give them the food that you want them to have.

As a vegetarian mother, I have allowed my children to decide for themselves whether they want to eat meat or not. Since they were small, they have been given my reasons for being vegetarian. I have 3 confirmed meat eaters and one child who I suspect will end up vegetarian, as the amount of meat she eats is getting less and less.

I just explained to ds that we didn't eat meat. I was clear on where meat came from (ie bacon from a pig, burgers from a cow) and that you had to kill the animal to get the meat. When he had a playschool tip to the farm I was clear that, yes while the animals are cute and nice to pet etc, they will be someones dinner later and that is what farms are for.

He knows other children who are vegetarian and also those who have allergies so doesn't feel 'odd' not eating meat. He did say for a while to people that he was allergic to it, but I correct him if he says that.

Only time we had an issue is at scouts when there was a party and some of the biscuits had either gelatine or cochineal in. I took the biscuit off him when I realised he'd been given one. He said 'but I like it'. I said being vegetaian is not about liking or not liking the taste, it's about the aniomals involved. He was ok with that.

I think the hardest issue is knowing what to tell other children about being vegi. Ds's reception teacher said she'd love to give an honest account to the dc on where meat came from but some parents would object. I was also told by the office staff at his primary school when I went in to ask about vegi school dinners that, while they did get some children who were vegi they usually started eating meat once they got to school
I also had to repeatedly tell them that their 'vegi day' wasn't actually vegi as they were serving up jelly for desert which contained gelatine and could they please take the 'v' symbol off it. They never did. They were listing the vegi option each day though by the time he left after quite a bit of pressure from me

I think if you don't want her to eat a particular type of food for moral/religious reasons, you need to supervise her (which means not leaving her at parties until she's old enough to understand). I think it's fine to explain that you have to kill animals for meat and that's why you don't eat them but some people do. Don't overcomplicate it

I remember when my dd said to me "there are two different types of chicken, chicken the yellow animal, and chicken meat that you eat". I said em, actually...........

She was shocked! so I think kids would 'get' it.

Don't explain until she asks. I was brought up a vegetarian and I just accepted that I didn't eat meat or gelatine. It will be a bit more complicated for her if she is allowed to eat fish but not meat, as not many people are aware of pescatarianism, or at least they are unaware of the differences between vegetarianism and pescatarianism, so you will probably need to explain to parents at parties etc. so that they know what she can and can't eat.

FWIW I wish I had been given the option of trying meat when I was younger as when I was old enough to ask, I found that I couldn't eat meat as it felt so psychologically wrong (nothing to do with animal welfare etc, just that I'd always been told not to eat it). Now I'm happily a vegetarian but at times I've really resented my parents for making that decision for me.

Anyway good luck explaining :)

We're facing this too as my 3 year old DD is obsessed with the idea of eating fish fingers; we keep explaining that we think that fish should swim in the sea rather than be eaten (ditto lambs in the fields etc) and I think she's gradually understanding. I haven't found a good book to help explain yet.

frans - birds eye do vegi fingers. Try those on her instead perhaps
www.birdseye.co.uk/fresh-frozen-food/product/vegetable-fingers/

Watching with interest. I'm veggie, DH & DDs aren't but are happy to eat whatever I put in front of them.

While I would love my DDs to be veggie I didn't want to get into the situations you guys are describing at parties/nursery/GPs where I would have to keep saying "we don't eat that" while DH would be tucking in!

I'm hoping that even if they don't turn out veggie they will at least be a carnivore like HFW & only eat "nice" organic, ethically raised meat occasionally not at every meal like MIL thinks you should

frans someone does mock fish fingers too (I saw them in holland & Barrett) - I ate the packet, but couldn't decide if I liked them or not!

I've explained to DS that we don't like eating animals or fish. I've told him that beef is cows, pork is pigs etc, partly to link food to where it comes from, but also so that if he gets offered meat out of the house, he knows that he shouldn't have it. He understands that we are vegetarian, which means not eating animals or fish but that some people do like to eat animals and fish and that's OK too...

To be honest, I struggle a bit with telling him that we think eating animals is wrong and cruel as other members of the family do eat meat and I don't want him to think they are horrible people because of it!

I have to admit that we do allow him to eat gelatine because I think it would be too hard (and would feel mean) to not allow him jelly sweets etc. We don't buy gelatine products but if he gets Haribo at a party, he can have them.

Oh, and at a party recently, I saw DS turn down the offer of a mini sausage, so he does understand what he can and can't eat.

My DDs know that meat comes from dead animals, and that the animals have to be killed to get the meat.

From around 6/7 I think that they can make their own choices about whether they want to eat meat or not (though I never serve meat at home). They have access to meat at school if they want to anyway, so trying to restrict them would be counter-productive IMO.

Only read OP but I've always been honest with DS. We've talked about 'happy animals' and how some meat comes from animals that were not looked after and that makes the meat taste bad. We've also talked about how some meat has chemicals and things added to it which I don't think are good for people to eat. He knows we'll occasionally have a pheasant, shot by my friend and that sausages from the farmer are ok but a treat. He doesn't really question it anymore (he's 5) but he does sometimes ask for meat if we are out - we went for a picnic with DP and his DC and they brought those little cooked sausage things and plastic ham (despite knowing that I don't want DS to eat them) so he tried them. Same for birthday parties etc - DS knows what I think but his decisions are his to make, not mine.