DD1, aged three and a half, is a fussy eater (her little sister will eat anything, as do DH and me). She will eat with enthusiasm the following:
cheese
ham
cherry tomatoes
grapes
apples
bananas
white bread (toast, baguette, whatever)
cucumber
plain roast chicken
plain roast beef
plain roast pork
Yorkshire puddings
chips
fishfingers
chocolate
fairycakes/brownies, etc
sweets
crisps
crackers
plain pasta/pasta with grated cheese
and will eat, say, one or two peas at a mealtime, if persuaded, but not very keen, and say half a stick of raw carrot, and mashed potato (but all of these she will mostly turn her nose up at).
She will not eat food all mixed up together eg pasta with sauce, chicken in sauce, etc.
PIL were staying last week and felt we should be tougher and insist she just has exactly what we have. But if we do that, she screams and won't eat anything. I know her list of will-eats isn't that bad, but we struggle to eat family meals because she won't eat, for instance, pasta with the sauce, or things like lasagne, shepherds pie, etc. Recently I have tried giving her the meals we eat deconstructed, eg if we and her little sister have a noodle dish, I give her the noodles without mixing through the other ingredients (say chicken, peas) and she will eat them separately, but if altogether, she gets very upset. So if we have spaghetti bolognaise, I give her the spaghetti with grated cheese on and serve the sauce separately for her to try (she ignores it, but one day she might try it?!) and also say some cherry tomatoes and some cold cooked chicken for protein.
Am I being silly and pandering to her, or is this an okay approach to make meals unstressy but ensure she eats relatively okay?