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Original poster

DS2's appalling diet. Should I really just relax (2 years)

15 replies

charlieincharge · 27/04/2011 21:17

Ds1 & DD eat well. We eat as family and tucking into a good homecooked meal is a big part of our family life. However I've found myself in a mess with DS 2. His diet consists of the following:

Cornflakes
Bread (wholemeal)
Peanut butter (wholegrain)
Jam
Yoghurt (good ones)
Dried apricots
raisins
pizza (any 'bits' picked off)
pasta with tomato, pureed veg

Any amount of cake, biscuits, crisps, chocolate, ice cream he can lay his hands on.

He does not eat ANY fresh fruit, vegetables(other than hidden in pasta sauce), meat or fish (not even sausages or fishfingers)

I've been very relaxed about it so far but am getting very concerned about the junk (can live with the limited range of 'good food').

We are a very social family, it always seems to be a birthday party, picnic, friends with biscuits after school, treats when visting family ice creams in the sun etc. He has this kind of thing so frequently that I can't see how he is ever going to become interested in proper food if I don't address it. He also fills up and then eats hardly anything at his main meal, so can often go to bed simply having had ice cream with his siblings after school, or cake at a party.

I've 2 main questions

should I make a very concerted effort to reduce his intake of junk when we are out socially ? This will impact on DS1 and DD who enjoy a treat but self-moderate. I can't see that I can stop DS2 but allow DS1 and DD to tuck in. Any restriction will result in tantrums so hard to taunt him with his siblings being still allowed to have treats.It will also attract stern looks of the 'chill out' brigade of which I have been a member until now!

My mum looks after the children 3.5 days a week and is very indulgent with the children. I've have asked her to totally restrict any extras for all the children until I get DS eating a more reasonable ratio of decent food. She has taken massive offence that I brought it up and is sulking and saying she will never buy them anything again. Should I stand my ground ?

My answer to both questions is yes but my mum clearly thinks I am being neurotic and should chill out. This goes against all my instincts but I'm going to embark on a major battle with mum (who is also childcarer) if I continue down this path so would really appreciate some feedback.

I've got myself in a right mess and need a reality check either way.

OP posts:

berri · 27/04/2011 21:36

I'd relax.

I have one friend who's 2 year old only eats Marmite sandwiches. Nothing else - at all!

Don't beat yourself up, it'll all come in time I'm sure.

Sleepwhenidie · 27/04/2011 21:42

I am marking my place as (ridiculous as it sounds, he is only 16mo) my ds2 is definitely going the same way! It is so much harder to be strict without depriving older two DC's of treats....I am hoping it will be easier when he is a bit older and you can explain why some foods are better for you (and essential) and also blackmail reason with them eg no dessert until decent amount of dinner eaten, no sweets/chocolate etc unless healthy breakfast consumed...

bessie26 · 28/04/2011 10:57

I would (try to) chill out, it will make you life easier with your mother!

Could you try to make the snacks & treats the other DC have healthier? e.g. Lollies made from fruit juice rather than sugary ice-creams?

DD1 is generally a good eater but had a few months where she wasn't really that interested in eating anything, but got her interested again by making her more involved, so she would "help" me make lunch (eating bits of carrot/pepper along the way) Pizzas are always fun to make & again she eats loads of the toppings while we make them.

She also thinks anything in a little carton is great, so smoothies, milkshakes, fruit juice.etc Could you give him a carton of smoothie 5 mins before all the "treats" come out so he sometimes fills up on that instead of cake?

ppeatfruit · 28/04/2011 11:05

charlie if your mum is usually reasonable, sit down and have a chat with her (if not I'd look for another C.M.) Also the word 'treats' is an emotive one maybe give them all healthier ones.

ppeatfruit · 28/04/2011 11:10

Discuss the above with yr older DCs see what they think.

linziluv · 28/04/2011 11:15

I was starting to worry about my 3 yo DS for the same reasons. We are extremely laid back parents (probably too laid back!) and do not fuss about it...over the past 2 months he will now give any food a go and is a joy to feed now!
I think most toddlers go through a fussy phase but I truly believe if you don't make a huge issue out of it they will grow out of it.

ppeatfruit · 28/04/2011 11:38

linzi and bessie are right; DD1 and i used to make plates of 'faces' or flowers from fruit for DS3 who hoovered them up after refusing to eat 'normal' looking fruit! he could also make his own!

nometime · 28/04/2011 11:48

DS2 (now 8) used to eat a very limited diet. Until WE accepted that he is now a "natural" vegetarian, by that I mean he doesn't eat meat but not for any ethical reasons, he just doesn't like it at all. Luckily he does eat fish and eggs. Have you tried Quorn mince - full of protein which was my worry -but much lighter than meat and we now tend to all have that in bolog, chilli etc.

Like OP eating together is important to our family and it can be quite hard work to have a child who eats differently but it is do-able. I don't mean to be rude to OP but I had to get MY head around the fact that his food likes were different to ours.

MooM00 · 28/04/2011 13:17

Why not ask your older 2 to make a list of healthy treats, it's surprising what can be considered a treat, mine like fancy cheese and crackers, fancy fruit, toasted teacakes, plain high fat yoghurt. Maybe they could think of some things they'd like to have more often that would broaden his eating habits.

Pinkglow · 28/04/2011 13:32

Focus on what he will eat, the items that you listed are not bad at all and at least he will eat dried apriots and raisins so there is abit of fruit in there. Plus the pureed veg with his pasta is also really good. Maybe try things like blueberries?

I find with my two year old his tastes change all the time, a few months ago the only fruit he would eat were apples and now he will eat more or less all of them I think the key is to keep introducing different stuff every now and again.

Original poster

charlieincharge · 28/04/2011 20:41

Great thank you. Reality check gratefully received on the chill out message!

Yes we do focus on the healthy side of what he will eat - the problem is he's often full of something sugary!

Mum not reasonable and has only huffed at me since I asked her not to go to the icecream van after school!!!

Older DC lovely and understand and when at home with us alone they eat treats after DS2 is in the evening after DS2 goes to bed - nothing major as they aren't treat fiends but enough to keep them from feeling deprived!

The problem is we are too bloody sociable! And they spend too much time with my mum who suffers from mild depression which encourages her to be extremely indulgent (looking for love etc) on the sweet front.

So I will keep on with the overall aim but chill out re the enforcement.Tis hard though....long road ahead!

OP posts:

Zakki · 29/04/2011 22:51

Interesting to read this. I am also worried about my just 2 yr old. She doesn't have a varied or healthy diet. I know this is mostly my fault - I feel I need to be more strict with her in terms of making her eat the family meal e.g. chicken curry rather than letting her have something she is happier to eat e.g. cheese on toast. However, do you think it is too late to change her habits? Is it possible or will she be a picky and unhealthy eater forever? Feel like a terrible mother. Tried to Make her eat One mouthful of dinner today which she refused. I wouldn't let the issue go and this led to a uncharacteristic 30 min bawling episode which she fell asleep after. Silly battle. It's my fault not hers. Rant over.

ppeatfruit · 30/04/2011 08:56

Zakki i understand how worrying it is but it IS a stage MAKING them eat is the worst thing to do (it blows it out of all proportion) could make issues later on.

ppeatfruit · 30/04/2011 09:00

Nometime is right they will have different tastes to yours (it is the start of independence) try and chill out!!

IslandMooCow · 02/05/2011 10:47

I think you are going to have to address the issue with your mum. 3.5 days is a big part of the week. I have a similar problem with my DM, but luckily it's just 2 days a week. She never gives them proper meals, just cake, pasta in a cheese sauce, buns, biscuits, and more cake. I've had to have that serious talk with her, as I'm an average sized, high exercising type 2 diabetic. The doctors can give no explanation for this other than it must be genetic. Apparently my children have a 50% increased risk of also being diabetic. I was able to use this "medical" reason as the basis for my concerns and although DM did get huffy, I think things have improved.

It is so frustrating though, as I don't take the children round there as often as I should as the cake box come out straight away. My mum has "food" issues and likes to feed other people, but not herself - drives me potty!!

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