Seriously picky eaters!!

[3cherubs]

I have 3 kids and am getting increasingly frustrated with cooking for them! I am the only vegetarian, my older son does not touch any sauces (so no lasagne, bolognaise,macaroni cheese etc...) The middle son is starting to get just as fussy - copying his brother, but also comes to the table and messes around instead of eating, so half an hour later we have to take the plate away after nothing eaten. (we try not to give him any attention for this) The baby has jars - just do not have enough time to cook and freeze a load of meals for her. I have 3 kids aged 5 and under, so I lead a busy life!

So the food I prepare is generally bland, although healthy. Not very tasty for my husband to eat and may contain meat so not great for me. The mealtime ends up like this: One meal for husband, something else for the two boys, something quick for me and a jar for the baby. always vowed NEVER to cook seperate meals, mmmm....

I have tried making "normal" appetising meals for the family, but the boys point blank refuse to even take one mouthful. I have tried putting some lasagne on their plate with other bits they like, they just eat the bits they like. I have tried bribing them - we all know that does not work! They have gone to bed hungry...

My oldest has lunchboxes because he refuses to eat school dinners and that became a huge issue. (His school do things like macaroni cheese etc)I really don't want the same problem with the other two!

How can I get to the stage with such picky eaters where we can all just have one meal??? (bar me being veggie of course!) Has anyone had the same issues and found a magic cure?

i would make the one meal. and then if they don't eat it they go hungry.

they'll soon start eating it up!

This is a tough one. On the one hand, there are certain things that people really do not like (db hates tomato ketchup), so I can understand normal likes and dislikes and I don't really believe in forcing even kids to eat something they really don't like.

But, on the other hand you need a compromise. I would agree with stbhl's approach but would say to the older children to name just one thing they don't want to eat, and apart from that, they should be expected to eat what is cooked.

How old is the baby, could you not puree what your cooking and give that and then the boys will also see that she is expected to comply and that might encourage them.

Thanks for all the advice -

Have tried the "eat it or go hungry approach." Believe me they would be happy to go hungry night after night without eating, so it does not work! They are just not bothered.

Re pureeing our food for the baby - if I do the boys' food it is bland coz no sauce (and I don't want her getting used to food with no sauce as well!)and our food is very spicy (chilli etc) so ultimatley it would mean making extra sauce for her to go with the food. Sometimes what the boys eat is not always appropriate (I make them homemade pizza for example)

I have looked into making my own veg stock with no salt (actually quite easy and it can be frozen) and from that I can make gravy, bolognaise, lasagne's which the baby can also start to enjoy. Plus a bit on the boy's plate just to nudge them into trying a biteful! You never know, they may surprise me one day!!

Wish me luck!!!

PS Does anyone add a small amount of wine to their food (e.g. bolognaise)and then give it to their kids?

My younger son is 13 and has been a SPE for ever! Apart from when he was a baby and ate pureed anything! He has a hugely limited diet with hardly any protein but is fit and healthy and I have lost count of the times I have taken him to see health visitors/specialists etc. They have ALL told me not to worry about it! I smile through gritted teeth. He will not/cannot try anything as it literally makes him retch. It makes me so cross when people say that it is all the parents fault as our other son eats anything at all. I think DS2 quite fancies getting supernanny in to sort him out!

motb, it's very encouraging to hear that he is fit and healthy on a limited diet. That does give me hope as mine, although not "seriously" picky nevertheless have very small appetites.

Part of me thinks that their bodies will tell them what they need as ds1 can be quite specific and insistent about what he wants - one day it might be chicken, sometimes apples, sometimes just bread - so that makes me think that at that time, he needs the nutrients from those things so I just go along with it.

dd2 was a very picky eater from birth. We just kept going with giving her a tiny bit of new food each time. We always said she didn't have to eat it, but she did have to try it. She started trying things just because it stopped us nagging We never forced her to eat anything she said she didn't like, but always praised her after trying it. She's now 8, and will eat a varied diet, but still doesn't like anything spicy. Also doesn't like a lot of sauces. She always had plain pasta, with a few bowls of stuff (cheese, ham, veg) to add as she wanted. She's also on packed lunches because doesn't like school dinners - think it's the 'mixing' thing again.
BTW found she much preferred bolognaise etc if we used sieved tomatoes, rather than chopped - doesn't like the 'bits' apparently.
Have only just started to eat regularly as a family, partly because dh doesn't get home 'til 6:30 & kids wanted to eat by 5:30, but always fed dd1 & 2 together so they didn't have to eat on their own.
She also prefers a lot of veg raw, esp white cabbage! Fave packed lunch at the mo is mini pittas with raw white cabbage shredded, and a bit of cheese on the side - bet I'm the only mum sending her dd to school with cabbage butties

ds 2 was is a picky eater,he is better than before (he is 12 now)when a baby was good ate most things but around 3 was ill with a virus for ages and became very picky,we had loads of stress at the time and he slipped into a diet of weetabix and toast.With lots of time and effort he is much better ( i took him to an homeopath and that over awhile seemed to help) He hated runny foods and every thing had to be seperate on the plate one speck of brocoli in the rice and he wouldn,t eat it etc. took years to build up from 1 slice of carrots to a serving but he will eat some veg now.started eating pizza around 6-7, bolognaise around 9,still wont have gravy or any other sauces,the other day he had rice with vegetables in it said "this is great you can,t taste the vegetables in it!"He also loves fish his favourites are swordfish,fresh tuna,salmon, trout,sea bass,mackeral,herring but he doesn,treally like cod or smoked haddock.He has also started eating baked potatoes without gagging on them.So there is hope it does take time though.He too will go to bed rather than eat things he doesn't like so I do make sure there is something he likes or at least that he can eat.