dh has just told me that mil has offered an alternative meal for dd1 for lunch

[OrribleOliveoil]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

We are going through the usual hell of refusing food at the moment, one minute will eat stuff, next day refuses etc. Major pita.

So I have done the usual 'don't eat it then, fruit or starve' thing. No alternatives.

However, MIL looks after dd1 & dd2 when I work and offers alternatives. I can't make a big thing of this as she does me a major favour having them and appreciate that she will do whatever makes her day easier......BUT is this going to confuse dd1?

She has her 3 days, so only 3 meals, I do the rest (joy of joys).

She will know that while Granny lets her bugger about, Mummy doesn't.

My son mithers Daddy constantly for toast during a meal. Whe I have him in the evenings, he just eats his dinner. He is 2.5

pita, but she'll gradually learn that she might be able to pull that stunt with Granma, but it doesn't work with Mummy.

She will then of course, start crying plaintively at the table when you refuse to give her an alternative "I want Granny, I want my Granny"

Ho hum.

Yes, I am the toughie in our house.

Sigh. Dh was not happy with his mum but how can I steam in there dictating? She does a brilliant job looking after them and will only think I am an ungrateful cow.

But it is annoying. She would live on cheese sandwiches if possible and every night it's I don't want omlette/chicken/bolognaise/tuna I want CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE.

Steam coming out of my ears last night, think dh wanted to go back to work.

I am assuming you have had a quiet word with MIL?? and asked if she could posibly support you in this??

If not, then do that, if you can't (ie MIL is a B*H) then go with the flow and have a different rule at granny's - providing the alternative offered is not chocolate and is real food I wouldn't rock the boat too much.

My MIL is tougher than me and tells me my kids are fussy eaters (which aside form dd not eating fruit I don't really see) and she gives them what they are given and tough BTW they then eat v little and do go hungry!!

I err on the side of choice usually, but if I KNOW they don't like something (like gravy on their roast chicken) I leave it off, I don't give it swimming in the stuff and have a tantrum on my hands that was easily avoided!!