Food issues with 3yo .. what would you do?

[iJudge]

She has always been a good eater. We do not buy cakes, biscuits or sweets at home but when we are out if she offered them I let her have them and I will sometimes buy her a cake or bag of buttons. We bake together, yesterday we made carrot cake and today we made rhubarb crumble.

All was well.

Recently though things have started to become more complicated and I don't know how to get things back on track.

Breakfast is normally porridge or shreddies with berries. Wholemeal toast.

Lunch - Cheese sandwhich or soup. followed by fruit.

Dinner - homemade - this time of year its mainly stew, chilli, spag. bowl,
roast, curry etc) followed by fruit and yoghurt.

Snacks (after nursery and mid afternoon) are fruit, toast)

The problem is dd is

1. constantly saying she is hungry, I offer fruit and if hungry (After nursery) she eats it but mainly wastes it and still says she is hungry. So I have to listen all day to 'I'm starving etc It does seem as if she if just saying it because she wants cake etc.

1. She used to eat all her dinner but now she barely takes two mouthful before she says she is full up and wants her pudding, even if it is just fruit.

So I have started saying she must eat a bit more dinner before she can have pudding - as she has been telling me for ages she is hungry and if she doesn't eat dinner she will continue to tell me this after she has eaten her fruit. I hate saying this to her as I never wanted her to see some foods as better than others but she has naturally decided cake and biscuits is all she wants.

What am I doing wrong? How can I change things so she is not constantly telling me she is hungry and then wasting food when its not cake or biscuits?

Just don't give her cake and biscuits and stop making them with her - tell her when she starts to eat her food again you will again start making them.

Stick to it though.

But then I am making cakes and biscuits into treats which I didn't want to do.

I did lose it earlier though when she wouldn't stop telling me she was hungry (and had wasted half the fruit basket) by threatening to throw the carrot cake we made yesterday into the bin

So maybe just an outright ban is the way to go

I would say yes ditch the cakes/biscuits or just keep to once a week - you don't have to 'ban' them, just say you don't have the ingredients!

And re: snacks, if she is wasting fruit then don't give her free access to the fruit bowl, give eg a small bowl of chopped fruit, if she finishes it she can have more

Re: hunger, I don't think fruit is v filling so maybe snacks such as cheese, oat cakes etc may keep her going between meals?

I would have to stop making them altogether - if we make cakes the last for ages so she knows the are about.

I was wondering if she does need more filling snacks, I can't work out if she is hungry or just wants cake and biscuits.

bumping for more advice

I would just give smaller portions of fruit as megbusset said. My ds is much older and still can't eat huge portions, or any decent sized portions tbh. I just accepted long ago that he needs food little and often. Frui isn't filling unless it's a banana really, so I would go with an oat cake or similar. Kids don't always need the same amount of food, they go through phases depending on growth spurts etc.

With regards to main meals - the rule in this house was '2 mouthfuls of everything on your plate before desert'

She can and does happily eat a whole pear,banana,plum,apple etc - but when she doesn't want it (and wants a biscuit,cake instead) she takes one bite and leaves the rest

DS2 does that too iJudge (he's nearly 2) - when he's taken a bite only out of fruit I use it up to make smoothies.

Our rule is that the kids have to at least try their main course before pudding (which is fruit, smoothie, yoghurt or fruit jelly) - if they dont eat their meal they dont get anything between. If they complain about feeling hungry, they need to wait for their next meal and then hopefuly they'll eat properly.

DS1 went through a similar stage at 3 - just ignore and rise above it. And snacks between meals are fruit only (no baked goods until he got past that stage).

Could you switch lunch and dinner, so she gets the decent meal down her early in the day, and then you wouldn't be so worried about fussiness and snacking at tea time?

I need to start meaning what I say, I say 'that's it, you're not having anything else till dinner' if she wastes food but then I give in when she tells us for the millionth time she's hungry.

I'v made a rod for my own back, she knows she can wear me down!

I think switching lunch and dinner is a great idea as she eats everything at lunch time but nothing at dinner time. It would take forward planning but I guess I could just give leftovers from the night before. The more I think about that, the better idea it becomes.

Mine eat loads for lunch and only pick for tea as well - I remember reading a thread a while back and it seemed quite normal for toddlers, hence lots have their main meal at lunch.

We batch cook meals for the freezer for our dds, so we can just get it out the night before and have lunch on the table within 10 mins of getting back from wherever. Mainly driven by catering for dd1s food allergies, but it does work really well in meaning I don't really worry about what they eat the rest of the day. And when you're all tired and grumpy by teatime, giving them a banana and a biscuit for tea is so easy all round!

I have found that sometimes when children say they are hungry they are actually thirsty. They just have difficulty telling the two apart.

I don't know if you make a game out of it. 'Shall we see if teddy's hungry give him yr apple if you don't want it" or she could tell you the goldilocks story for porridge eating etc.

fruit is very unsatisfying when you are hungry, i find.

My DC had snacks like: (wholewheat) crackers and a piece of cheese or ham, a (full fat) yoghurt, a banana, some popcorn, a digestive etc. at that age.

Small kids have small tummies, yet are very active, and can be better off with a carb or protein snack instead of only fruit

Fruit is good, but for me, the only fruit that "fills a hole" after exercise is a banana.

I always test out to see if dd is thirsty rather than hunngry by giving her a drink, this often works.

my dd also says it as a habbit and if ignored or distracted normaly I can just deal with hearing iyt rather than having to act on it. If she is persistant I give her a few carrot sticks or cucumber or a rice cake, this normaly keeps her quiet and does not interfere with her mael later.

some children to experience increased hunger when going through a growth spirt and the only way to counteract this is to allow them to graze. I always provide a few small healthy snacks through out the day. but normaly not more than a couple of bite fulls ie as mentioned, one or 2 carrot sticks a couple of peices of cucumber a rice cake or half an apple etc. also I normaly ensure there are no snacks for an hour before a meal.

My DD is very hungry during the day too and then hardly eats any dinner. She eats a lot for breakfast and lunch and constantly wants snacks and usually those are yogurt, fruit, wraps wth hummous/cheese, smoothies. And we've had to get rid of virtually all biscuits/cakes/sweets to make sure she eats enough nutritious food. We only have treats once a week or less. But I know she craves sugar because she constantly wants to put honey in her yogurt so, yes I think it is addictive and could be making them want the sugar more than regular food.

Don't have pudding as a normal part of the meal. We almost never had dessert, including fruit. Just stop serving the fruit and or yogurt, and have main course, and possibly cheese.

Fruit is very unsatisfactory if you are genuinely hungry. If she's hungry, just offer bread and butter or a bit of cheese.

Then gradually introduce dessert every so often after the meal, bt without making a bid dela of it. It's just 'there'. Ditto any cakes you happen to have or make. She is seeing cakes as a big treat and something special becaus of all the baking you are doing with her.