calling mothers of other non eaters - dd 11mths

[hermykne]

am i getting my knickers in twist over my dd not eating, she goes nuts when the spoon comes towards her and i have given her two spoons to keep the paws occupied. she flatly refuses.

she'll eat weetabix in the morn - i think because its got milk and maybe a yogurt at lunch but all the things she liked intially (made by me) shes refusing now. sometimes she'll eat the bits of toast off the floor. i have given her finger foods - banana mango, potato, carrot, beans the lot. NO. shes even retched on occasion.

tell me she'll eat and it wont affect her teeth, bones , skin and all the rest....!!!!!!

and should i still offer it to her everyday and let her eventually pick at it?

I was just going to start a similar thread - dd (15 months) will eat crips/choclate/shreaded wheat/fishfingers/marmite sandwiches/breastmilk and sometimes youghurt..OK she is not going to starve, but she hates anything with a slightly slimey texture - once got a pea hidden in a bit of fishfinger and spat the whole thing out!!! Hates touching anything thats not dry - I have tried to get her to touch and given up on food have tried Playdoh/Paint/ Sand/ Baked Beans. She is really fussy. Part of the trouble is her motor control - she wants to be able to feed herself but can't, but she really does dislike the feel on her hands and in her mouth of anything resembling a fruit or veggie....

cazzybabs, she sounds hilarious! (if it wasnt so upsetting for the mum) i tried the carrot under yogurt today , she knew instantly and the face turned and the cup went flying

is it the same as with younger kids? my ds (then 7mo) started to refuse everything savoury after a bad tummy bug. After lots of faffing around with fruit etc I eventually followed the health visitor's advice and cut out all sweet things and only offered the savouries. We had hell for a couple of days and then he sorted himself out. Worth trying? Everyone says they won't starve themselves. I hope!

eeek, i took away the fruit and yogurt but it didnt really help. i succumbed to the iron bt all over the yogurt packaging and gave it to her.
but console myself in that its only brown toast she gets.

I should add my dd doesn't get too many crisps and chocolate - but as soon I as start to eat some she wants some - how does she know...I have tried to sneekly eat it in the wrapper, between bread but she knows!!! Anyway I am on a diet so there will be no chcolate for a while!!! What happened to all my good feeding ideas - when she was smaller she would eat puree spinch/watercress/lentils anything...I was so proud my d was a healthy eater...umm now she won't even eat a yoghurt if she thinks it has been near fruit - she spits the bits back out and then refues any more!!! She is one big pickle!

I have a friend who's ds didn't eat for about 9 months! He totally refused more than a few mouthfuls a day. It was extremely upsetting for her and her dh - BUT he is now 3.5 and still not a great eater but is healthy, lively, good skin etc.

From a personal point of view I think my friend made life more difficult for herself. She constantly worried about it, made it known to ds that she wanted to eat, ie "Come onnn xxx pleeease have some dinner.." that sort of thing, talked about it in front of him(how much do they understand?..). She also offered him milk whenever he didn't eat so he was in heaven.

This is my opinion, obviously if it goes on too long then it is an issue but babies experiment to see where they have the control. Whilst mine have never been terrible eaters they haven't always eaten, but I am really laid back and didn't tend to notice for a few days, five mouthfuls and I deemed the meal a success anyway!

I think you should offer the food, offer the yogurt and then let her get down. Mid morning or afternoon give her a piece of bread, savoury bikkie, banana or something to eat on her playmat. When it comes to family mealtimes just try to get her to stay in the high chair for the duration but don't try to force food down her. If you ignore her or offer her food from your plate she will probably surprise you.

The best piece of advice I can give is DO NOT MAKE AN ISSUE OF IT! HTH

runragged
i think thats a good idea idea about offering the food, then the yogurt then letting her out of the chair, without giving her milk until she is due it, and also spreading the feeding process out over the day. i started that just giving her bits when shes really content playing away so its not associated with the chair and the spoon. i dont give her more than the recommended amt of milk(formula!) cows milk starts shortly!
thanks

Hermykne, we should get our dd's together they sound so similar! Mine is also 11 months and has been hell to feed since day one. She rarely has breakfast, won't eat weetabix/ready brek etc, so I try breakfast jars. She may eat some of this, then we try wholemeal toast, which she has a go at eating. She will eat about 6 dishes that I make, these are mainly chicken or minced meat based, anything fish or new she takes one mouthful and has enough, won't touch it. Even these dishes she sometimes only has say 10 mouthfuls at the most. If she doesn't eat the savoury food I then refuse her pudding and see how long she'll go without food. Half the time though I give in and get something else out of the freezer that I know she likes. What happens when she goes off the 6 dishes she likes!!

I don't try finger foods much as she has such a small appetite that if I feed her snacks in between meals she won't touch her lunch/dinner etc. She does seem really interested in what we're eating though and always comes up to us when we're eating wanting some.

The other problem I have is we don't have family meals together very often, as her lunch is at 12 and I'm never hungry enough then and we eat dinner late as my husband doesn't get home from work until around 7pm, so this doesn't help her much.

My husband and I find it very stressful and have many an argument about her feeding, but the HV's and Paediatricians all say that as long as she roughly sticks to her centile on her growth chart and that she is developing well in other areas then there's no cause for concern - its just so frustrating that she won't eat different things and she can be so fussy!!

As for feeding herself with a spoon, well she's not even interested. If I gave her a spoon she'd just stick the wrong end in her mouth and not let me get her food in!

The other thing people say to me is you never see a starved child - as long as they drink their milk then anything else food wise is a bonus!

Good luck and keep persevering!! I too have the cows milk soon - what fun that's going to be!

DD is 2 and has the same problem, I used to worry that she was malnutrioned, but when I went for her checkup last week she was the right weight for her age, I think if they are hungry they will let you know!

corky your dd is better than mine, today all she had was 4/5 spoons of weetabix, refused lunch and yogurt and 2 quarters of toast.....
madddening. i just hope she'll one day go yummy at the food and not the cardboard box she chews.

my dd sis drop below the centile at the last health check and she was 9lb 3 at birth but shes obviously got her figure in mind already.
ohhh

Just to show you that there is always something to worry about, my dd, also 11 mos, eats obscene/scary amounts and just gets fatter and fatter and fatter. She'll finish a giant meal and scream the house down for more. One doctor weighed her some months ago and said, "I know she looks obese, but she is still just about OK for her height." Looks obese--even he admitted it. And now she looks even more so & is probably not OK for her height. In a way I would rather a child who knew how/when to stop. I worry dd will have lifelong probs with her weight. I think your children, on the other hand, ARE getting enough nutrition & it will be fine. Very, very occasionally you hear of a child who needs med assistance b/c they don't eat enough, but that is so, so rare. I'm sure your HV will put your mind at rest if need be; they must hear this ALL the time. Now can anyone put mine at rest?

My DD1, now just 3, would eat until she was sick if let, at 11 months, at every meal. She was a little chubby. She gradually got less voracious, as most toddler do, and now age 3-4 trousers fall off without a belt (she's very tall so it's hard to get any to fit right now). She still loves her food, but is much choosier. I wouldn't worry at all if I were you, expatkat. DD2 8M is a whole new experience, not so keen, but I stand my ground-no savoury MEANS no fruit, and i've never even let her have the sugary commercial yoghurt DD1 used to get as I vainly tried to fill her gaping maw. DD2 gets just the minimum amount of formula recommended, at the same 3 times every day, no matter what. That said she is a normal weight and clearly content most of the time, just finds food boring I think!

expatkat, my friend's ds was a real eater and I'm sure she wont mind me saying but by god he was chubby, but he started walking around 11 months the weight totally redistributed. He is now nearly four and there is not a pick on him. It will drop off once they become properly active but unless you have a speedy gonzalez crawler they don't do enough exercise to burn it off.

My dd has always eaten every thing in site and every one has always said how dainty she is, but looking back at the first years photos there is a bit of chubbyness about her too.

ooops - sight!

Expatkat, my dd the same. 16 months and loves her food (and milk). She has about 12-18 oz of cows' milk a day too - kind of wondering if that's too much. Sorry, should start another thread really, but I think Expatkat is right when she says there is always something to stress you out. Good luck, everyone.

My dd is 2 1/2. Somedays she eats like a horse - other days she hardly touches a thing. She has a very sweet tooth but likes her veggies - and refuses the protein.

We do a lot of bribery/blackmail/distraction!

I've come to the conclusion that the best thing to do is offer her food and if she refuses take it away and not offer anything else until the next meal.

took dd to doctors today and he weighed her (and me!) she is 2 and half pounds under weight. considering she was 9lb 3 at birth and now approaching 1 year should be 28lb or so, shes 21lb.
so should i be really worried and start forcing her to eat, today she ate pasta and f/frais and a tiny bit of banana for lunch, dinner zilch.

No I wouldn't worry, as she ate something at least. Have also heard you should look at what they eat over a week not a day.

Personally I think I'm starting to get bored of the whole eating thing now, or I'm sure I'm boring my family/friends at least! My dd was 8lb 4oz when born (so again no lightweight!), and today she weighed 17lb 10 and is only on the 9th percentile. God knows what weight she should be, but my other friends babies are leaving her behind now. She now has a stinker of a cold and is hardly eating/drinking, so its back to square one! Hopefully she'll pick up again, but she has only eaten a bit of cereal, one jar of fruit and a petit filous - being kind and giving her pudding as she won't touch the savoury!

Oh just when you think you're getting somewhere eh!

I can only say that my dd who is 10 months old weighed 9lb 11 oz at birth and now weighs 18lb 12oz. I don't think she will put on 9 lb in a month - but I had her weighed yesterday at her 10 mth check and the HV was quite happy - she is on 50th centile for weight and 75th for hc and length. I have to say that although she was so big at birth she has never put on loads of weight and has been on 50th centile since 12 weeks - although I don't take her to be weighed unless she's being immunised or for a check as she's no 4.I actually have had her weighed more than my last two since at the previous clinic the set up for immunisations was different and I was a bit worried at first that she wasn't gaining weight especially when I looked out my ds1's chart (went every two weeks!) and found he was 19lb odd at 4 months from a bw of 9lb 8 oz! Then I remembered when I took my dd1 to her 8mth as it was then check she was on the 50th centile from a bw of 8lb 14. She is now a very healthy perfectly average sized 8 year old and is I think the size she was meant to be. I wonder if some big birthweight babies just grow in the womb to a size to suit your body rather than because they're going to be genetically big? My dd 2 is a reasonable eater but does not eat anything like as much as ds1 did, and not the volume of milk either. You can't make them eat, just offer them healthy food. Try not to worry - although I have with dd2! I have to say that one of the few things I feel I have got right over the years is to never, ever, get into a battle over food as it can cause such grief. They really won't starve themselves.

corky & ursula
thanks for those snippets,
i know you annoy yourself for obsessing over it.
but i was at the shoopiing centre yesterday and a friend gee shes small...so then you get into a conversation about it, anyway
shes going goodo with her walking so maybe shes burning all the energy
thanks agani

DD, now 5, was very fussy eater as a baby. Tried everything but she would not eat. She drank a lot of milk though. Once I cut out a lot of the bottles she was more willing to eat. She had juice after brekkie, milk about 10 juice after lunch, milk about 2.30, juice with tea and milk b4 bed. Started with her favourites and as she begun to eat introduced more flavours. I have a few problems with her eating like bringing her packed lunch home 1/2 eaten but she finishes it off on the way home! try small portions so as not to overwhelm her and don't make food a battle ground or she will use it against you is the advice given to me. HTH

i often worry about dd's diet but i often look at it objectively! she has all of the food groups.(JUST) and even though it's not very varied.again not through want of trying!!!i think she'll start eating more as she gets older! She is 2.6 and would live purely on chicken dippers if allowed

she has reverted back to eating zilch after her weetabix in the morn. i just dont know.
have tried consistently at different times of the day. i have left the food on the highchair step, so she passses it and she picks at it, then it goes on the floor.
offered her lots of variety but she just refuses, shakes the head and rocks.
she'll munch on toast, but not like shes hungry more like the way she chews a toy.
doctor said to give her lots of f/frais but shes even refusing this after 2 spoonfuls

off on holidays at weekend so hoping she'll come back it in better form for eating

Ursula, you are right. The birthweight is not necessarily connected with a child's weight in childhood. My ds is chubby, eats everything, but has dropped through the centiles on height. And there's nothing I can do about that - except get him monitored. So it could be worse!

Hermykne, sorry to hear she's still not improving. My dd is off savoury at the moment, and I feel bad in giving her the dessert, but she's got to eat something when she's poorly. I always wonder though if I should try finger foods more, it just takes so long and she never really eats that much - do you try finger foods much?

I hope you have a good holiday - you never know the change of scenery might do her good - let me know how you get on I'd be interested to hear what you feed her.

Keep up the good work though, sounds like you're doing everything you can - can't do anymore than that!