Want to get past my food/cooking phobia - any suggestions?

[neepsntatties]

My mother has had an eating disorder for as long as I can remember. There was a lot of anxiety in our house surrounding food. We were not allowed in the kitchen when she was doing anything food related and she pretty much never ate herself.

Needless to say I also developed an ED and have had various episodes over the years. I was lucky enough to spend some time with a specialist nutritionist a few years ago and I haven't had a relapse since.

I am still very anxious around food though and I can not cook at all. I do not enjoy cooking at all and often things I make don't go well anyway. I feel tense as soon as I know I am going to have to prepare food.

I am expecting my second child and really want to get on top of this for the sake of myself and my family. I want to feel confident preparing food for my family.

Tonight I just made an omlette using a video by Jamie Oliver. It was ok, it was fast and easy and tasted ok. I had a look at some of the other recipies on his website but they all look so complicated it scares me.

Where can I find easy, stress free recipies to try out? I should add that I don't eat meat either which makes it more complicated!

gosh, you poor thing. I think you have had a lot to cope with and it's no wonder you have difficulties with food. However, it doesn't have to stay that way - there are huge pleasures to be had from preparing and eating good food, so be brave and cook something else! Just start somewhere, have a go, and keep at it. There are loads of good basic cookery books so just find something you like the look of and buy it. How about teaming up with a friend and doing it together? If you have a friend with a young child like you, you could get together for lunch and take it in turns to cook or something? Positive praise about your cooking will do you wonders! So will sharing food with a friend.

Good luck and let us know how you get on

I think the trick with your situation may be to try and use as few ingredients as possible.

Do you know the terminology that's used- that's why my dh is terrified of cooking stuff. He doesn't understand the words used.

Fry onions until golden brown. WTF does that mean? How golden is golden?

That is just an example of his difficulties.

I am bad at measurements. Don't get numbers. Less ingredients sounds good to me. Dh doesn't get it, he is a good cook. Often when I do try I get bad results which just adds to the stress of it all.

How about getting one of Delia's How to Cook books? She got a lot of stick about teaching people how to boil an egg etc but she is really good at taking you through things absolutely step-by-step and explaining properly what to do.

I found her great when starting out as she'll often anticipate the things that could go wrong, or make you think that it's gone wrong, and explain how to avoid it.

I don't think she uses loads of ingredients or elaborate techniques and find that her recipes always work (unlike Jamie/Nigella where I love the food but see lots of typos) which is reassuring.

You can also always post on here for clarification or help before/during attempting a particular recipe.

Good luck all round - hope you can keep going with this and that you'll find cooking a pleasure in the future.

It might be a good idea to try a kids' cookbook - I bought one to get some nice family recipes and it's got a lovely way of setting things out, but it does proper food!

When I started trying to cook food other than microwave meals a couple of years ago, my mother-in-law bought me a subscription to Easy Cook magazine, which definitely helped me. Simple recipes, few ingredients, good pictures.

Happy cooking!

Sophie Grigson has written a lovely book called "First Time Cook", full or really delcious and simple recipes (9-year old ds cooked us supper from it, with a bit of help

It's much less patronising than Jamie Oliver

I think a visual demo may work better for you than a book, if you liked the JO app. There are loads of clips on youtube of people cooking stuff. You don't need to get so worried about exact quantities then as you can see roughly how much is going in. I'd steer clear of baking cakes and stuff for a bit as they need more precise measurements.

Well done you for doing an omelette, I consider myself a competent cook but am shite at omelettes!

Maybe try inputting the following in youtube as a start and see how you get on:

• pasta with tomato sauce
• stir fry
• quesadillas
• stuffed butternut squash
• soup

I find youtube brilliant for when I don't quite get it reading from a book and need to see how its done eg how to make a pompom, and I learnt how to make cake pops on there too. I would have had to read instructions about 100 times and then still wouldn't have been sure - I am a visual person.

Never thought of you tube! I think videos will be easiest and a simple book to get me started. Stuffed butternut squash sounds yummy!

I hope I can do it. I probably need to get past the fear. I get so anxious when I have to deal with food. Need to do it though as don't want to pass this nonsense on.

Something you could try, although it is possibly the wrong time of year, is to go on a one day cookery course designed for students about to go up to University. I would imagine that they are fairly basic, and would generally use few, easily sourced ingredients that are cheap. At tleast that way you know that IF you mess up, it won't cost a lot and it is likely to be things like spag Bol, Lasagne, andother sorts of things that you would be moving your young children on to before too long.

Is it just cooking or are you anxious around food prep as well (i.e making sarnies, toast etc)

Toast is ok, when I am on my own I tend to just have a lot of snacks.

I would like to try a course actually. Doing things practically makes it easier to learn I think.

I think videos are an excellent place to start! Can I recommend the wonderful www.mydaddycooks.com/

His recipes are mostly straightforward and yummy, and exact amounts are really unimportant in them.

Good luck!

I would start with the basics, tbh

After all this is not about skilled cookery, it's about trying to normalise your relationship with food

Sandwiches, jacket ptatoes, omelettes as a starting point maybe. Simple pasta dishes. Food that you can eat alongside your DC important too

Nigel Slater might be good for you to read once you have a bit more confidence in the basics. He writes a lot, particularly in Appetite, about trusting your taste buds and making food that tastes good to YOU.

I've just been on a cookery course at the local college - 10 weeks long - and I feel sooo much more confident now. My other bit of advice is to use really reliable recipes -Good Housekeeping recipes and Mary Berry recipes never go wrong! But lots of these TV chefs recipes are way too hard for the untrained amateur!

Hi, I think that the BBC Good Food series are simple and good and would really recommend the 101 One-Pot Dishes and 101 More One-Pot Dishes, for simple, fast, easy, delicious food. I am really into cooking, yet still turn to these (very cheap) books when need something low in hassle and big on flavour.

They only cost about £3 from amazon.

Was also going to recommend the Good Food series as they are very simple and easy.

Also, have you had a browse through any of the cooking magazines available? As well as the BBC Good Food one there's an Easy Cook maagazine which focuses on simple recipes, and there are a couple of vegetarian magazines too.

Great suggestions thank you. Didn't even know there were magazines! Will look next time I am in tesco.

What about this where receipes only have 5 ingredienants or less, so your not over whelmed.

goodfood website.

Brillant thanks - really like the idea of only five ingrediants! I need simple!