Anti veg eaters

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Have 5 and 7 yr olds who simply won't (willingly) eat veg of any kind. Started when eldest was about 4 then my youngest twigged he wasn't eating any veg and she followed suit. Was advised not to pressure them, that they would come round eventually, not to make a big deal (when I did persuade veg eating it would just result in retching which I didn't have the heart to watch) but now I really feel enough is enough.

They do get veg by means of me basically hiding it in everything. Thankfully they are big pasta eaters so the secret veg tomato sauce has been my saviour these last few years. They are great breakfast and fruit eaters so I'm not worried on that front but it's just I feel they are now at an age where there shouldn't be a stewards enquiry if veg are presented to them (as is happening now they go to friends for tea etc). I guess I feel that I haven't helped by disguising the veg rather than making it visible for them to accept.

Both my mum and m in law continue to say leave them as they are healthy and happy but I suppose I just feel like such a bad mum when I see their plates and there is not a veg to be seen. Not sure whether this is more their issue or mine!! Oh I don't know, probably making a mountain out of a molehill. Just looking for some advice or reassurance I guess. Wouldn't mind so much but it isn't even as if I didn't do the whole homemade food thing and they do eat things I wouldn't have thought were overly appealing to kids like houmous, curry, pesto...but the humble pea? not a chance ....

IMO the more fuss you make about it the worse they will get. I agree with yr mums if they're eating fruit then they're getting the vitamins they need and with the hoummous etc.

It's your issue - if they're eating fruit and hidden veg, they're fine.

My DD2 learned to eat veg through sauces and soups and gradually came round to eating visible veg. She is now a 10 year-old vegetarian who still won't eat peas, but likes sprouts.

And actually, she'll eat peas now if they're in risotto.

Thanks, appreciate your views - am sure I'm just having a bad mum moment - I really don't want to turn it into an issue which is why I've kept up with the hiding. Bye for now.

You could always try getting them really hungry and then taking them to a vegetarian restaurant, or do you have any veggie friends?

That is just beyond cunning - what a fantastic idea - I love it. There is a really nice veggy indian restaurant locally which might work. I'm going to give it a go!

With you here but not just with veg. We have tried positive reinforcement, praise, ignoring, not making a fuss, we have never offered anything else, I frequently make meals that I know they won't eat as I refuse to be dictated to by my dc what I will cook. I don't want to end up cooking different things for everyone and I want to continue to offer a varied diet even if they don't eat it.
The "leave it be, they will be ok" is not particularly helpful unless it is said by someone who had a problem with their children for 5 plus years and now they do eat a varied diet.
The problem with "leave it be" is that you can't guarantee that they will grow out of it. I don't want my children being 20 and only eating 3 meals and a couple of veg, but trying no end of cakes, biscuits etc. Socially this could make things really difficult for them.
It is so totally a control thing/fear or what ever, which makes me want to get it sorted out now.
Can you tell that I am having issues with this?

Can totally empathise with you - it is so frustrating especially as I know most of it is all in their heads. Sometimes I so wish I didn't go with the leave it be route because I too secretly fear they will never grow out of it...but I equally don't want to give them food issues which may impact them as young adults...it's so hard to know what is best....they would eat the same three or four meals over and over if I let them - it's like food groundhog day!!

Grumble aside my eldest has started watching junior masterchef and I must admit this has piqued his interest for new dishes so we'll have to watch this space....maybe being able to cook their own food would make them more willing to try something different.

DS is nearly 6 and the thought of this going on for a further 6 years or more will break me, I am half there already.
I can totally see why people have gone on tv programmes, I can feel desperate enough to do it sometimes.
I have a friend who went to her HV and has had some specialist help for her ds, she has said we could meet up and she would share what she has been told.

I am in the same boat, 3 ds, ages 11, 8 and 6. youngest will not touch veg, other 2 fine, although I did put peas on their plates for a good few years before they would eat them. He would rather go hungry. I agree with Tempertrapped, am soooooo fed up with kids food, I do end up cooking 2 + meals a night. I feel I should use the tough love that would have been used on me, but can't quite bring myself to send him to bed with no food. I gave him some fruit tonight when he refuesd to try one mouthful of shepherds pie in exchange for beans on toast. His brothers tease him saying he will be on freaky eaters when he grows up. I'm beginning to think he will be. Tomato sauce is the only "veg" he will eat, otherwise he lives on bread, cheese, youghurt, cereal, fruit, pasta, noodles, baked beans and meat. Is this healthy?