Fussy 3 year-old has started gagging too much on food she doesn't like...

[morningpaper]

I genuinely believe that my fussy 3 year old doesn't LIKE most foods. She basically lives on bread and sausages.

I'm not the fighting-over-food type, but I've always gone for the "Eat two more spoonfuls of X and you can get down/have a yoghurt" approach, which dd has reluctantly done.

On a couple of occasions recently though DD has taken another spoonful, started gagging and then thrown up her whole meal.

She eats VERY little but on the whole seems healthy and quite chubby. She only drinks water. She never eats more than a spoonful of veg or fruit a week, and that's a miracle.

The gagging/vomiting thing has made me nervous! Should I just give up this approach completely and let her eat what she likes from her plate (often nothing)?

I would say, "yes, let her just eat what she wants," but that is easy for me to say when it's not my child. I am sure you know all the advice about "no child will starve" etc. etc. I think it is probably best to back off for a while as the vomiting could turn into a control thing - "If you make me do something I don't like, I'll vomit and then you'll be sorry." Also, can you remember being made to eat things you genuinely hated as a child? I can, rice pudding springs to mind, and I honestly could not have eaten another mouthful, under threat of the direst punishment. I am gagging just thinking about it now! I was a fussy eater, always quite skinny, up until I was in my 20s. I now eat like a horse and the only thing I absolutely can't bear is, guess what, rice pudding. Oh, and olives, which I accidentally ate thinking they were grapes, age 3!

My advice is back off and she will come back to those foods later. Put your foot down, and you could cause a life long aversion.

There was a boy on the tv the other night with a similar food phobia, wouldnt touch his food and threw up what morsels were given to him.
So how did they get him eating at mealtimes in the end?
It took a long time but the parents in this case were extremely anxious and stressed and mealtimes were a battle. The advice was to calm down, make mealtimes fun by eating together. Devising a star chart and not expecting too much on the first day. put the food in front of them , dont watch them , talk about other things . Let them explore the food. If they reject it take it away at the end of the meal, even if its uneaten. Dont make a fuss. Progress will be made eventually. Get them involved in setting the table or even preparing the meal. My 3 yr old gets a chair and loves to stir the scrambled eggs, supervised of course!

You've probably tried this but a star chart with a reward at the end of the week for this age group works well. we tried it 6 mnths ago when my son wouldnt touch any veg and made it a case of just try one bite of something new. When he did, even if he didnt like it we made a huge big deal about it, so it was a really positive thing , lots of 'How clever are you, excellent etc ' and letting him put the star on etc. I think its important to listen to their likes and dislikes , because otherwise they feel they are being forced . I say to my son, if you dont like it thats ok. As time went on he would forget that he had said it and finish what was on his plate. Now he eats what we eat and the only thing he doesnt really like are tomatoes , but thats fine.

I also think 2-3 is when they test you most, from other parents Ive spoken to its when they become the fussiest. Its about control!!

Dont give up, it takes an iron will and determination but if they see you are genuinely excited by food they will want to be part of it too. Dont underestimate how crucial your eating habits are to your kids. Whatever you eat they will want to eat. We are their best role models!!

Good luck