food fighting

[4boyz]

hi,im new here and looking for help!
my 10month old son.willnot let us feed him.he screams shouts and will not open his mouth,if we let him try himself them it goes ontop of his head!he loves toast and finger foods,but without a tooth in his head im on pins in case he chokes!never had this problem with other ds's and now im stuck!any suggestions?

Hi 4boyyz, there are lots of similar threads about difficulties feeding whether it be stubbon 2 year olds or younger. have a look under 'Topics' and 'Food', you'll defintely find someone who has been through similar.

try not to make a 'fight' out of it or an issue out of mealtimes, will he let you give him a mouthful of food while he holds some finger foods?

My son didn't get any teeth until he was 13months but he fed himself OK on sandwiches etc. They have rock hard gums! IT might be a phase and if you can relax and back off a bit he might let you feed him in a week or so. Until they have back teeth they chew with their gums anyway.

Hi
We don't have problems with getting our son to eat the food it's getting him into his high chair. He arches his back goes stiff as a board so it's really hard to physically put him in. Once the first mouthfull is it he'll eat his food. As soon as we've finished he screams until we lift him out.

I know we should be grateful that he eats his food, but I dread mealtimes for the screaming.

Any suggestions?

Don't worry about choking on finger food, he wont. I give dd finger food while I'm feeding her with a spoon - it slows things down but means she has a bit of control of the process. She likes rice cakes, banana, prunes!, bread and toast. She also likes holding her own water cup. Sometimes she purses her mouth before she has even tried it and I dump the spoonful on her tray infront of her. Once she gets to play with it and put it in her mouth she'll take it off the spoon. She sometimes gets her own spoon as well and once we've finished her first course she gets to play with the bowl, she likes chewing the rim. Singing songs makes her laugh and I put a spoonful in then. Having said all this she really isn't a fussy eater at all and hoovers up a huge amount of food. I think its just more fun if she gets to play with the food and have songs sung to her. If she doesn't want anything then its fine, she'll usually eat twice as much at the next meal.

Both these problems with my 2 year old:

I always used to try and distract him by reading books and talking to him and then when he was distracted shovelling food into his mouth - after the first couple of mouthfulls he would normally relax. Now of course he has wised up and will only eat finger food, and throw anything else around when he trys to feed himself. THats another story...

On getting him into his highchair - we always put a few of what ever his current favourite on to the highchair - ie: rice krispies, cornflakes, raspberries etc... so that he will only get them if he goes into the highchair. Or, ask him if he wants bubbles or to play with something normally out of bounds like a radio - then tell him he can only have it if he goes into the highchair. Also great for changing nappies, getting into buggy - all stressful situations....

My first ds was exactly the same at the same age - had a dreadful holiday once as the whole time we were away he refused to eat anything but bread, which was all I dared put in his hand due to his lack of teeth, and Hipp Organic Blueberry pudding. I eventually twigged that if he had the bread in his hand I could get spoonfuls of food in by making him laugh or opening my mouth wide for him to copy (very slow process and still only got a few bits in).
Whatever, you do, please don't do what I did one day, which was to just snap completely and force feed him. It was the most horrible thing I've every done, and he was not only screaming with anger but was also sick everywhere.
I've been much more relaxed with my second ds, and he's now 10 months and has pasta, bread, sausages, cheese and all sort of other finger foods as well as stuff from a spoon. Trick is definitely distraction - get him laughing or looking at something else, and slip a spoonful in.
Also, my health visitor told me that even if he appears to be eating hardly anything, he is not going to starve himself, and will take food when he's ready.
Good luck.

Our ds had weight problems, gaining it was the problem! Therfore we never entered a food battle, what i used to do at lunchtime was put a plate together of sweet and savoury foods and allow him to choose what he ate in which order he wanted. He now eats well and has no real concept of forbidden treat foods, all food is nice to him he still does not eat the correct foods at the right time. Sometimes for breakfast he has toast and sometimes its ice cream, whatever he asks for he eats. I figure that this is better than giving him toast when he asks for something different as he eats something and there are no arguements nobody wins and im not bribing him to do anything. It really has worked for me and other friends of mine have gone the other way, and to witness the bribery and lost battles is not worth it. GOOD LUCK.

I would worry about choking - but not because your ds has no teeth - imo the teeth don't really make that much difference. Just at that age they are often a bit young for hard or crispy things. We've all heard the horror stories ... if you're giving finger food you should be in the room at all times. My ds choked on a hula hoop given to him at a party when he was not quite 2, and it took a Heimlich manoeuvre (sp?) to sort him out.

If you're giving any food you should be in the room at all times!