A story of hope for all those Mums coping with children who wont eat.

[pepsi]

Thought Id do a positive post today. My ds became a very bad eater due we think to glue ear and constant ear infections colds which resulting in him gagging on food and being sick. He therefore began to think that it was the food doing it. Anyway from about 20months to 4 years old meals were a bit of a nightmare. Im sure you all know what I mean. As a baby he ate really well but suddenly wouldnt even let a pea pass his lips. It worried us greatly. He is now 51/2 and we have perservered and he is now a great little eater. He will eat most veg and fruit ...even with the skin on. He loves casseroles, roasts, salmon, pasta, brown bread. So my advice to all going through this is dont worry they wont starve themselves, dont give up and dont get stressed. Just give really small portions, like a desert spoon of mash, same of meat and perhaps one slice of carrot and a few peas and build it up from there. Dont give in to the junk food route because its easier. For years I have contined to make my own food and put veg on his plate only in the early days to put in the bin and feel really down hearted but now its all been worth it and its lovely to watch him eat good food now, albeit not in huge quantities. For us also I ddecided that I would only cook one meal a day so everyone gets the same and no one is allowed seconds of anything until they have tried at least a little bit of everything on their plate. Things do get better if you stick at eat and from what Ive learnt I think its easier to get on top of the problem when they are younger rather than when they are older. Hope this helps some of you. I can honestly say now meal times are a joy now rather than a miserable experience.

That's fantastic - well done!

well done pepsi and thank you for this post!

Thanks for your post Pepsi. I have a daughter who used to eat anything (she was the only baby I knew who would happily eat Brussels Sprouts!) but now eats not nearly as well as I'd like. However, I am perservering and refuse point blank to give her pre-packaged, processed 'yummy junk'. It IS frustrating, but we are getting there, slowly. Your post has inspired me not to give up, thanks!

Mine are quite good eaters, but I do like your idea of no seconds till they've tried everything on their plate - I'll give that a go. Thanks.

that's a lovely post pepsi - really chuffed mealtimes are fun again!

I also agree that no seconds until you've tried everything is great. I also have a no ketchup until you've tried everything rule, after ds has eaten a bit of everything he decides he doesn't want the ketchup anymore.

Well done. I will remember your advice.

Thank you their is hope for us all then. fortunately event eh junk food does work either so try to stick to more healthier foods one day it will be perfect!

Hello, This is my first time on mums net, so I hope their is someone out there who might be able to help.

I have a 10month old son. Who is refusing to eat foods that he has previously loved. One day he will happily eat what he is given, the next he will bat away the spoon and basically have a tantrum. If you are able to get the food into his mouth then he will just spit it out. He will eat food with texture and very very small lumps, but it has to have some wetness to the consistency, or he gags and sometimes chokes. I have tried coating the savoury food in fruit, which sometimes works, but I dont want to encourage that as he may get a sweet tooth. If anyone has any advice it would be very appreciate. Helen

That's great Pepsi - glad that it has all worked out.

My advice would largely mirror yours. My 3 year old was a very poor eater between 12 months and 2.5 and I would get hugely stressed about it. After seeking advice from mumnet and other sources, I kept presenting her with decent (home cooked) food, and simply took it away if she rejected it with no fuss. She was offered no alternatives. She started to grasp that she wouldn't be given anything else.

Also as her language skills improved I was able to offer he incentives (i.e. eat at least half of your (super healthy)dinner and you can have a small cake).

She now eats well.

This experience has stood me in good stead with ds - currently aged 16 months. A typical day was yesterday when he ate one slice of wholemeal toast with marmite, and 2 fromage frais.

I simply don't worry about it - and keep presenting him with proper meals and take away the untouched plate afterwards. I figure that in time he will improve as dd did before him, and when his language skills are a bit better I shall try the bargaining and negotiating I used to good effect with dd.

Hi OAS! Welcome to MN! I would just keep offering small amounts and not get too het-up about what is rejected! They usually come round eventually!

I am in a similar boat with my 14 month old refusing food. he used to be so good, eating everything I gave him really, with veg and fruit being the favorite. We've just come back from a 3 week holiday where unfortunately we had to resort to jarred organic food, grilled cheese sammies, and fish fingers. He decided he hated brocolli on holiday, a previous addiction.

My guess is that since we couldnt' give him many finger foods while away, and the ones we did give were junky, he was angry at being spoon fed, b/c now we are home, he'll do no spoon feeding whatsover. (no pasta, no sweet potatoes, no brocolli, no squash, no chicken, etc.) Sppon feeding is fine when it's sweet like fruit or yog, however.

Interstingly to me, today he ate wafer thin ham slices, pita, and peas. What finger foods do you feed them that are freezable, and/or easy to pull together? Every meal is a creative drain to me. I have Annabel Karmel, but some of her recipes are really time consuming on a daily basis. TS, I could freeze the AK food if anyone thinks they have some foods that could be my "ace in the hole".

The cooking can get out of hand timewise, taking away from my son's playtime. Nanny is more of a cleaner than a cook, and finger foods seem mostly last minute now anyway. Need ideas for this age group, please.

catcat - have you read my post? Don't stew and worry over it. Many (most) older babies and toddlers have food issues at some point - it's almost a natural developmental stage. It does tend to pass in time.....(have seen stats and surveys which suggest >50% of babies and younger toddlers go through this)

At your son's age (14 m?) you shouldn't need to cook special AK recipes etc. Just present him with the food that you are cooking for you and dh. Take it away without fuss if he doesn't eat it, and if you can possibly avoid it, don't offer him alternatives....(otherwise he'll just hang out for his preferred substitutes).

Obviously when I say present him with food that you and dh are eating - this might not apply if you are tucking into chicken madras!

We tend to cook more traditional meals for the whole family (1yr old and 3 yr old)- cottage pie, fishermans pie etc; i.e. nothing over challenging to a lo's palate.

My youngest (16 months) has been food faddy for about 3 months now - he still only deigns to have a mouthful of his dinner quite often before rejecting it; but he doesn't wake in the night hungry and he is normal weight. I won't get quick wins - he'll probably carry on this way for a good few months yet. But it will get better with this strategy.

Don't fall into the trap of only offering him the limited range of foods that he will eat. My friend did this with her dd, and now at the age of 3 her dd will still only tend to eat sausage, broccoli and cottage pie (since her mother just stuck to those options).

Hi QAS - welcome to MN!

My DS is nearly 1 year and still frequently has meals where he's just plain not hungry. Sometimes he'll take just 2 spoonfuls and he's done. I don't make a fuss, as I know he'll eat when he's hungry - usually he scoffs at the next meal. I'm trying to encourage him to sign an 'all done' if he's finished.

My top tips would be......

Make sure he doesn't come to the table so hungry that he's too grumpy to eat (I'm like this when my blood sugar plummets!)

Make sure he's hydrated befor he eats. Offer sips of water for every 2 spoons of food.

Make sure the food isn't too dry - DS used to gag unless it was quite 'wet'. Simply chucking in a bit of water helped.

At that age, they've still got quite a sweet tooth from breast milk. Don't worry about sweetening up his meals. I still tend to have some pureed apple or natural yoghurt on hand to mix in if DS is looking a bit suspicous!

Remeber that green veg is very bitter to a baby's palate so don't hesitate to sweeten it with pureed fruit.

He's still very little - please don't force him to eat. Children simply will not starve themselves!

Message withdrawn

Hello

Many thanks to Chipmonkey, Catcatdelight and Highlander for your wise words ~ I now feel armed and ready for battle!! I will definately try some of Highlanders suggestions at lunch today. Fingers crossed x

A brilliant recipe (passed on from another MNer) that never fails to please is Annabel Karmel's 'Lovely Lentils'. So good I make it for DH and myself as well

Ooh, boiled, pureed apples and sultanas always go down well.

I love Annabel Karmels recipes! I sometimes secretly hope ds3 won't finish his meal so I can have a couple of spoonfuls!

My son was never a good eater to start. It came as hugh shock to me because my daughter will eat anything and was never a problem with that. I did exactly the same with both and completely different outcomes. He is now 3, 4 in February and eats most things. We just ignored him and at one point he refused to eat if I was in the room so I had to leave to get to eat. It was purely attention seeking on his part. If he's tired or ill he reverts quickly but we continue ignoring what he does and doesn't eat and try not to think about it. He is in proportion and has enough energy to last the day, occasionally gets grumpy because he has turned down his lunch/dinner but again ignore till the next meal. Snacking is fatal.

Another thing is that somechildren who don't eat well at home will eat brilliantly at nursery/friends houses! Peer pressure can be a great thing!

how's it going OAS?

I did read Handlemecarefully's post, and great suggestions, but not sure I can make shepherd's pie a finger food. It's really finger food or nothing with my DS.

Just wondering if there is brilliant, freezable finger food out there that I have not discovered?

I agree when I ignore him, he starts eating.

catcat, while I personally agree with you that shepherds pie is not finger food, my DD would have to disagree. when she was about 10 months old or so she used to turn her head away at spoons and help herself with her hands. VERY messy but she was effective, and happy. Now at 2.5 I'm pleased to say she uses a fork and spoon well, but does revert to hands when very tired.

One thing I found recently which is handy to keep in the freezer - M&S do rice with peas and sweetcorn in their freezer section. I think it also has onion in (which you could pick out if they don't like it) but nothing else as far as I know. Obviously you could make your own and freeze it in batches if you preferred but this handy to keep for emergencies if nothing else (and rice is still finger food in my household!)