PLEASE HELP. 3 year old doesn't eat vegetables... now he won't eat fish, chicken, tuna....

[Mirrorball]

I am going to have to actually pin him down - what can I do? He didn't eat his dinner tonight - all his friends were here so I thought oh he'll eat something - fish fingers, home made wedges, pureed veg hidden in ketchup (yes I'm that desperate) and chopped up red pepper, cucumber and carrots on the table.... not one bit. Then he went mental when I didn't give him a yoghurt - didn't give in.

Eldest son eats everything I put in front of him, but youngest now wont even drink smoothies I make for breakfast (banana, yoghurt, honey, tropical juice - bloody gorgeous) and I just feel like shaking him and telling him how lucky he is to have nice food to eat.

When I make a pizza I put pureed veg on the base with tomato before the cheese, I am trying to find all sorts of ways of getting good stuff in him - now he wont even eat PIZZA!!!!!

What shall I do - multi vitamins and toast with jam on it for the rest of his life?

heeeeeeeeelllpppppppp.

There's not a whole hell of a lot you can do - some children just are fussy eaters. Whatever you do, don't let him know that it winds you up, don't let it be a battleground, don't force the issue. Just keep offering - small portions, a) so you're not chucking money away and b) so it doesn't seem intimidating for him, and bide your time. Peer pressure will do something eventually, so get any friends he has round for tea as often as you can.

My DC3 is a fussy eater - lives on a diet of fruit, milk and pasta. He's 12, FFS! But he's fine - healthy, slim, happy, and we're slowly broadening his range of foods, but it's bloody frustrating (he's Dyspraxic - apparently quite common with things like Dyspraxia).

I found that grating carrots and courgettes into bolognaise makes them invisible and actually improves the flavour :)

In the longer term...my 3 year old knows that if he doesn't eat what he's been given then there is nothing else. No alternative and no pudding unless he has at least tried what he's been served. Would going hungry for a few meals not convince him to try a few more things?

I don't think being hungry makes him anything other than extremely grumpy, which he is most of the time. But I have been at my wits end, and giving him bananas at ridiculous times of the day because I think what the heck at least it's got goodness in it = reduced appetite = not hungry enough at mealtimes??

Hassled (that should be my name) - good advice, as I am guilty of making an issue of it, there have been tears, and I'n pretty sure mealtimes are as much fun for him as they are for me.

I put carrots and spinach and peppers in the blender then add them to spag bol, cottage pie etc, which actually he did eat, but in the past month has pushed his plate away....

I had heard that allowing children to serve themselves can sometimes help with fussy eaters. By dishing out the food themselves, they only get as much as they can mentally cope with so they're more likely to eat it. By leaving it out on the table in serving dishes, they can go back for 2nds etc and actually end up eating more. Worth a try?

Maybe make the cottage pie etc in little rammekins to make it a bit more interesting??

I think if you recognise yourseld that you make an issue of it you absolutely have to make yourself a promise to chill out about it. You know it will only get worse otherwise. Keep offering the good range of food that you have been, agree with letting him serve himself, and try opening your mind to things you might not expect him to like - my 3 year old's favourites are really hot enchiladas and curries! You can always offer natural yogurt after meals - less sugar and very healthy. If you don't buy sweetened yogurt he can strop all he likes but it won't magically appear in the fridge. It will pass off, but much more quickly if you can chill out a bit.

Have you tried asking him why he doesn't like x,y,z that he liked before? There could be a reason that is either rational or non-rational (DH was told at school that custard was made of octopus so didn't eat it until he met me!) Are the portion sizes putting him off eating? He could just be throwing his weight around in the hope he will get treat type foods. You can go down the route of you eat what is on offer or you go to bed hungry and if he is hungry later offer the same food warmed through or bread and butter only. Or maybe just let him eat a limited diet for a few days e.g. bananas and yoghurt only, he may well soon get bored and try some of the other things on offer. Sometimes forcing them can make them go the other way and become more obstinate. You could try to cut out all snacks so he is hungry at mealtimes or offer a variety of foods that can be grazed on whilst playing, this could be useful if he is not eating so that he can get back to playing faster. Ultimately you know your child better than anyone and you will eventually find a way that works for you and them :)

Thank you - all great advice here - at weekends we all sit round the table and I do homemade burgers/wedges or a chilli/rice/tacos or lasagne/fish pie/ home made chicken goujons/salad... he will always eat the wedges!

Must try the putting bits out on the table for him to help himself. I'll sit with some books and work out some ideas, need an overhaul of what I'm cooking and my attitude!

Just wondering - do you sit round the table the rest of the time?

People have hugely varied views on this, but it's something which seems to really encourage them to eat and try things out more. I think if you are busy chatting/eating yourself you are less likely to hover and push them to eat, and they're more likely to feel confident to eat when the focus is off them.

It's a rare child that starves themselves :)

I'm having a bad mother moment here - my ds2 is on a limited diet of cereals and pizza (no bits!). I don't even bother trying to hide veg or fruit as it makes me angry when he pushes it a way and runs off to play with toys (the other 2 dc wouldn't dare to do that).

I'm just hoping it's a phase that he'll come out of. dd was very fussy, she's now getting better and easier to bargin with.

You're doing great - keep on trying, and please can my dc come for tea at your house?

my dd tried almost everything (meat, fruit, veg) until about 12 months, then had terrible gastroenteritis which lasted for 3 months ... then ate only mash potatoes with grated cheese through it, fish fingers and bread for about a year. With great difficulty we managed to get her to drink a little fruit juice now and then. Paediatrician advised to give her formula (such as SMA progress) rather than normal milk as it contains vitamins and minerals. She has grown well all through this period and now eats normal again. So try not to worry too much ...