Kitchen disasters

[Lio]

An colleague managed to make an apple crumble using potatoes instead of apples... can you beat this?

When I was at school a friend was making an 'all in one cake', so bunged in all the icing ingredients too thinking they would magically rise to the top!

You should see me try to make bread! Even in the machine. My husband has completely taken over production.

Just remembered another one - a friend was making toad in the hole and the recipe called for mixed herbs.
He didn't have any and used mixed spices instead. It was a bit yucky.

My granddad made a shepards pie and used cocoa powder instead of bisto. He still served it to my dad and watched him eat it before telling him, nice old man

Wasn't there but a few years back, Christmas Dinner at my in-laws house and my SIL reached over to the sideboard for the salt shaker and put a generous amount of .... talcom powder all over her turkey (FIL uses it for his snooker cues) .... FIL noticed but didn't comment and she apparently didn't notice!! Oh and another year we weren't there for Christmas, he put the turkey on a step-ladder in the garden to defrost and the cat attacked it ... he still cooked it and said nothing to the rest of the family! Ugh.

once made coffee for everyone, and used the sack of white stuff in the kitchen.
it was salt... and one friend asked for three spoonfuls in her mug.

I have asked why the oven ready chips aren't going brown despite the fact they have been in the deep fat fryer for quite a few minutes.

Then there are the two occasions when I set the cooker on fire.

The first time my mum was on the phone to the insurance company and thought I was playing a joke.

The second time I called my boyfriend (now DH) & said I started a fire. When he arrived in the kitchen I was wringing out a teatowel & handed it to him. "You put the fire out & I'll save the cat & dog" I told him.

Fortunately there was never any damage.

& another,

I've added salt to a doughnut mixture instead of the sugar.

Oh, on our first Christmas as a married couple my DH was given a 16lb turkey from work. We had a small LEC fridge with ICE box. He took everything out to fit this turkey in the fridge & then turned the thermostat down.

On Christmas Eve I came home from work & said I'd cook the turkey. DH said it's normally cooked on Christmas Day (I didn't really know any diff, as I'm ashamed to say I'd never paid much notice when living at home). So after breakfast on Christmas Morning we went to get the turkey out of the fridge.

It was frozen.

So, we put the central heating on and sat the turkey astride the radiator.

We got to 12ish & it was time to start visiting. the turkey was just slightly defrosted & we said 'sod it' let's shove it in the oven & just leave it in longer.

We visited & refused all offers of food. About 6ish that evening we were ready to sit down to Roast Turkey, pale looking roasted parsnips & potatoes (still solid in the middle), microwaved frozen veg & packet gravy (which was served as 1 lump or two).

Very nice dinner.

My mum and others came around later & she started to pull the turkey off the bones & it was still raw in the middle.

We must have the stomachs of an ??? as neither of us were sick.

Someone at work decided to filch a bit of ready-grated parmesan that was in a tub in the fridge, sprinkled it liberally all over her pasta and then discovered it was actually the boss's SMA for her baby daughter! Yum...