A public apology to Shellylou and not so much a flounce - as a major cut down on posting from me

[alwayslookingforanswers]

Firstly - sorry to ShellyLou - I started a thread earlier, under a name change, that was about something that should have remained just between us, off MN.

I brought it onto MN which was stupid and selfish of me, and turned it into a "me" thread. Not many posted on it, but I'm sure many read it and recognised my style of writing.

I posted on a thread of mine a few weeks ago saying I was being self-indulgent and not thinking of other people enough but I was too stupid to see that I've been doing the same thing to my friends. People who've been there for me through thick and thin including you Shell. You're definitely better off without friends like me.

Also both in the last few weeks, and last year, countless other MNers CATed me, and sent me messages on Facebook and MSN and I didn't reply. I think I manage to reply to any texts I got - but knowing me probably not. Sorry to all of you, that took the time out to contact me privately who I then didn't respond to.

In light of this, now I can see how seflish and thoughtless I've been I'm going to be trying to cut down on how much I post. In stead of "lookingforanswers" I will try to only give some answers (or least things that may help someone else).

I've been too busy looking at myself, and not others around me so will be making less frequent appearances on here, as I don't actually have that much advice to give to others.

i just wanted to commend you on a Brave post.

Hi Always

I dont know about any threads today but I have followed the others over the years

You are in a hugely difficult situation and I'm sure your friends realise this

You are too hard on yourself sometimes, which can be a good thing (sometimes)

but it can also cut you off from the people you need most

If it helps you to post on here, I think you should keep it up

Take care

I think of you and your boys often

(not being stalkerish, you wont know me im a lurker)

just a quick bump so that she hopefully sees it.

Well don't go completely!!!

Think we all go through stages of using mn alot and then not post much for a while.

Everything else ok with you? I have namechanged over biscuitgate but am tiffany!!

With the not replying thing... I do that too

It is never anything personal, I read messages, tend to end up in tears because someone is being nice, and plan to reply "later" when I am calm and collected etc... 3 months later I realise I never replied and that I am a cow

ILove - I'm not going completely, just going to limit my posts to trying to give other people advice instead of asking for it. But as I'm pretty crap at dishing out the advice will mean that I probably won't be posting much.

Just do both with the new awareness you've got! You don't need to stop asking for advice, just be kind to yourself.

no because I've got virtually no useful advice to give, only advice I can give is things I have experience of, and that means that I'm going to be harping on about myself again.

It's been nearly 5 weeks since the last "drama" in my life - it's time I moved on. And having spent most of today scanning active conversations for something that I can post something constructive on I've realised there's fuck all so think that's my signal to go actually

You are being very hard on yourself, I love reading your posts. I can think of lots of threads you could contribute too. Sometimes we need to be focussed on ourselves as we have a lot on.

I am always posting about myself, it is my area of expertise.

You are besing too harsh on yourself, Always, honestly.

A lot of people lurk and don't post or never start threads about themslves, they may have similar problems to those who start threads and thus benefit from reading replies.

I like your posts, you are not someone who I perceive to be all "take take take" at all.

Whatever has happened between you and Shelley, am sure it can be resolved, you are very brave to post.

Take time out if you need to, but don't disappear because you would be sorely missed.

"It's been nearly 5 weeks since the last "drama" in my life"

What rubbish! You had an absolutely traumatic experience which affected everything in your day to day life. 5 weeks doesn't change anything.

Sort it out with your friend, but you are overcompensating IMHO.

just a quick bump hopefully for ShellyLou to see it, haven't seen you on FB, MSN or had a reply to my email.

If you can email me your address again I can get that dress in the post to you tomorrow.

ALFA, please dont go completely. Your going though and rough patch and we are all allowed a "me" moment now and then
Im sure Lou knows how sorry you are and hopefully she'll forgive, but atleast you noticed, it shows how lovely you are
a very non MN ((hug))

no that's the point I didn't notice - she had to tell me.

Anyhow, thanks for the bump, want to get that dress to her asap so she can see if it's the right size for whoever takes my place and if it's not so they can order one in the right size

Well ok, maybe she told you but atleast you had guts to come back and say sorry, more than most would.
hoping she see's this

You have to stay to help me on the benefits threads!! I won't be able to cope alone!