Pissed of in anticipation of rubbish presents

[SJaneS48]

In a real flouncey mood and pretty much dislike myself for even writing this!

Monday is my 50th. My birthday party (quite obviously!) which I’d been looking forward to is off. So too is the surprise (not so much, my children can’t keep a secret for a second!) birthday trip bought by my DH to Rome.

It was DH’s 50th birthday in October. As he was always banging on about going back to New York (not somewhere I particularly wanted to go back too after an unpleasant work trip there), I saved up and this was his birthday treat. He also got NFL tickets from me, a Broadway Show and other stuff. Basically, I went all out.
DH earns nearly three times what I do & when he hinted he’d booked somewhere for my birthday i was really pleased. To be honest (and this is really spoilt), I wasn’t cock the hoop it was Rome - I love Rome but been loads of times, I’d taken him to NY and he earns a lot more than I do so I was hoping for somewhere I’d not been. I do love Rome though so I’m sure we’d have had a nice time.
The trip to Rome is obviously off and I told my DH to put the money aside (when he gets refunded the airline fare, he’s been able to cancel the hotel) he’d spent on the trip and we’d go somewhere special next year. I’ve been really looking forward to getting away next year as it’s been such a shitty year for all of us.
At lunchtime I found out he’s spent the money instead on actual presents. I love DH but he has absolutely bloody awful taste. Why don’t I tell him what to buy me? I do make suggestions but he likes to ‘surprise’ me. What this usually means is that I’ll send him something I’d really like, he’ll go on that website and then buy me another product (the surprise) from that brand/shop. So I’ll be all excited when I see the packaging then really disappointed when I see it’s the earrings I looked at but didn’t like.

I’ve tried to explain that I really don’t like being surprised and please don’t waste your money on stuff I probably won’t like but 16 years down the line it’s the same bloody thing every birthday/Christmas.

And now I’m flouncing around the house thinking my 50th will be even shitter than I expected!
I think I probably need to hear that I should be grateful for what I get and to get a grip!

Aww, I hope it's better than expected. At least your DH is making the effort. Wait and see, he might just have got it right.

Just so you know, 'Flouncers' Corner' is traditionally for posters who are flouncing off Mumsnet

You'll get loads of people telling you to woman up and that birthdays don't matter when you're an adult but stuff them!

I get what you're saying. You've had to cancel things you were looking forward to and that's disappointing - you're allowed to be disappointed!

I also get the present disappointment. DH doesn't always get me presents I like and it upsets me because I think he should know me better after so long together. We do wish lists in our family (makes life easier generally) but he won't buy off a list as he says he likes to be surprising!

Have the best birthday you can and when this is all over have a fantastic holiday somewhere

All of my big birthdays till my 50th were crap so five years before when I was 45 I told dh and in-laws I was having a 65 inch tv for the bedroom, I saved for five years watched the price’s come down, six weeks before I got a £2000 65 inch LG tv in the sale. Four years on I still love it, it’s my pride and joy, I’m registered blind and love it, I was bought dr who stuff a satchel from dh so I was thrilled. No party no shows dh had a comedy show as part of his 40th. I really wish you treat yourself as I did, then the trash can be forgiven because you’ve got your main thing for yourself. Ok not perfect but it made up for me every single crap birthday I had growing up.

Ah ok! I admit I have taken myself off Mumsnet twice before - just to stop myself really winding myself up responding to idiot comments from posters who quite clearly weren’t the smartest pixie’s in the forest. I’ll know where to flounce too next time!
And thanks for your kind and reasoned comments, am off my high horse (sort of!) now and like much of life at the moment, I’ll try to only make the best of Monday. Damn sure DH will have spent a lot of money on whatever he’s got me, however bloody awful. Have been practicing my fixed grin in anticipation of receiving quite obviously expensive jewellery in a really twee design that bears an uncanny resemblance to something my 11 year old is sporting from Claire’s. Or some underwear that would look the part on a teenage crack whore but on a 50 year old, size 14 mother of two is a bit grim! I do like the idea of saving for your own expensive treats & trips, think I’ll give that a go!

I’ve just discovered flouncers corner (just discovered mumsnet threads really bit late eldest children nearly 6!). Anyway I definitely relate to this, hope the dh didn’t disgrace himself with the presents too much! And agree but yourself something you really love/plane tickets to your dream location!

i get what your saying, its a bloody pain when they dont listen, you asked for money to be set aside and rebook later , but you are your own worst enemy anticipating in advance you will get gifts you dont want, if you dont like it ask for receipt and change it, and then in 6 months converniently forget you got presents and say remember that trip to Rome was cancelled here is where i want to go instead , will i help you book?..

I am thankful my marriage is robust enough that I can ask my wife what surprises I should get her for important occasions

I know this is ages ago OP, but what did you get?!

Yes I want to know too! 🙈

Any chance you can tell us now OP? Hopefully enough time has passed for you to tell us (and another round of gifts are coming )would love to hear