The Lost Daughter? **Contains Spoilers. Title edited by MNHQ**

[partystress]

Have had a really crap week (death in family, arguments, illness) and will be having a very low key NYE with me, DH and 18 year old DD. Will watching The Lost Daughter only make us feel worse or does it have something uplifting about it? Haven’t wanted to read too much about it as I prefer to come at films with a completely open mind, but need a bit more foreknowledge today!

Completely understand your hesitation, Drunkpanda - I still haven’t watched any of ‘Broadchurch’ …

There’s another thread (on which I’m also too much evident,) here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4441749-The-Lost-Daughter-on-Netflix-Does-anyone-understand-it-Spoilers?msgid=113834311

I found it interesting but didn't think Olivia C was that good. I feel she always plays the same character.

I watched thinking that the twist would be that she'd killed Martha. She spoke to Bianca on the phone twice and mentioned she had two children in their twenties but was not trying shown trying to contact Martha at any point.

I’m watching it. May as well finish it now but I’m not enjoying it as such

And yes I was screaming kiss her bloody finger!

Finished it. Honestly? Waste of my time tbh

I’ve just watched it. I didn’t like it at all, didn’t like Coleman’s character at all. The kids were just being kids, not particularly demanding, she was a horrible, selfish mother. Yes, the father was crap too. It was all just weird.

Dokota Johnson looked different, darker hair, suntan, no teeth gap.... it took me a while to realise it was her.

I just watched it. I enjoyed it in a way but it left a funny feeling. I suppose I couldn't relate to the main character. Plus a friend and 3 siblings were left when young so it stirred up that memory. She was an old school friend who ended up on heroin.

Anyway I barely recognised Dakota and didn't even realise Maggie G was on it?

Oh Maggie G wrote it 🙈

big fan of both jesse buckley and oliva colman,
engrossing film.
not sure how i felt at the ending though

Jessie was great in Wild Rose.

i loved Wild Rose

Jesse was good, she was flattered by the bearded lecturer, such great facial expressions, and apparently great in series 4 of Fargo, but i havent seen that yet.

Watched this last night; it left me feeling really uncomfortable and empty. I can’t say that I enjoyed it; at times, it felt very intense.

I had assumed that she had literally “lost” Bianca given the frantic beach scenes early on in the film but perhaps “lost” also means that she’s lost her emotionally as the elder daughter certainly bore the brunt of her frustration and fury. The ending is very ambiguous: I am assuming that the very final scene is an “if only this were possible” moment given the sudden appearance of the symbolic orange.

Re an earlier post: Leda is seen calling Martha - but not Bianca - on her first morning by the beach. She’s not shown talking to Bianca at all apart from in the very final - imaginary? - scene.

I found the open hostility from the other, extensive family very over the top. Certainly added to my unease in watching the film.

@FrancescaContini

Watched this last night; it left me feeling really uncomfortable and empty. I can’t say that I enjoyed it; at times, it felt very intense.

I had assumed that she had literally “lost” Bianca given the frantic beach scenes early on in the film but perhaps “lost” also means that she’s lost her emotionally as the elder daughter certainly bore the brunt of her frustration and fury. The ending is very ambiguous: I am assuming that the very final scene is an “if only this were possible” moment given the sudden appearance of the symbolic orange.

Re an earlier post: Leda is seen calling Martha - but not Bianca - on her first morning by the beach. She’s not shown talking to Bianca at all apart from in the very final - imaginary? - scene.

I found the open hostility from the other, extensive family very over the top. Certainly added to my unease in watching the film.

Oh, was that first call with Martha then? That does make more sense of the title, also she got cut off because her child either didn't have time or want to talk to her and wasn't interested in hearing about her holiday.

Bianca was the more challenging of the two children in the flashbacks.

I thought Jessie did a brilliant job showing the frustration of becoming second in your own life.

I watched it last night and it made me very tense.

There was frequently an undercurrent of menace with most of the encounters.

If it had been my own holiday, it would have been ruined by the overbearing family.

Why take the damn doll?? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I really enjoyed this film. Very tense.
Not what I expected. I think the ending is left to interpretation.

@Supersimkin2

I like the way the men don’t matter much cos they don’t do anything that does matter.

OC and JB capture the love v loathe that is mothering in a zillion refreshing ways.

Yes so refreshing a film that it’s not all about the brilliant men!

I thought everyone was exceptional and I am very impressed with Maggie Gyllenhall as a director. Also have a bit of a secret crush on Peter Saarsgard and love him with the beard (though I have only just stopped mistaking him for Philip Seymour Hoffman )

@Drunkpanda

Kiss her bloody finger!

I related so much to this. The not unreasonable demands of children, but after 40,000 other demands that day and realising how exhausting and tedious it all is, really not feeling the Mary Poppins but e if ‘of course I’ll kiss your finger’. Knowing my kids I’d have only kissed it wrong anyway!

I really love when a female MC:

1. Isn’t all about getting a man
2. Isn’t the happy go lucky perky compliant woman who loves everything and does as she’s told
3. Gives no shits
4. Is wonderfully and unapologetically imperfect

I enjoyed it but found it quite hard viewing. I feel like I'm not quite sure what I've just watched! Lots to think about.

Motherhood is hard. I found the fact that I couldn't even find the time and peace to think my own thoughts or concentrate on anything particularly tough and this film really showed that struggle.

It's a very slow meander through god knows what. Indulgent and tedious, and without resolution. Very disappointing.

It’s an odd one. Read a lot of people saying how great it is to see a woman doing things men do all the time, i.e. abandon their families, as if that somehow means we should be rooting for her. I personally didn’t relate to her character at all. Not that I’m a brilliant mother or that I enjoy every part of motherhood- I don’t. But I just didn’t get what it was about her life that was so terrible that she had to leave. It would have been different if her children were babies who were entirely dependent on her and she had PND and she was on her own with no help but they were fairly old to be constantly pestering her (why did they never go to school or go outside?) I also wonder why she seemed to have so little awareness of the commitment that motherhood/parenthood would require of her that she ended up resenting not being able to put her career first. I felt sorry for her but her actions made her quite unlikeable.

You can't really decide to give no shits when it comes to your children (though may be a good policy in other areas of life!)
I didn't finish it in the end. I do like resolutions and it was clear that wasn't really going to happen! I could not understand about the doll, causing that suffering

@Soubriquet

Finished it. Honestly? Waste of my time tbh

Me too One of the weirdest strangest films I've ever seen....

And the fact they kept mentioning how young OC looked throughout.... when in fact she look mid to late sixties was even more weird! In fact it was mentioned so often..... I had to Google her age in real life 🤣
Don't recommend it at all

I endured this last night and thought it was utter tosh. I only stuck with it as I usually love OC.

@mandajmo

I endured this last night and thought it was utter tosh. I only stuck with it as I usually love OC.

I also thought it was utter tosh but coming at it from the point of view that I have always thought Olivia Colman was a hugely overrated one trick pony. She's exactly the same in everything she's in. She has no variety at all.

The only scene that affected me was the one where she described to Nina how she had walked out on her daughters. I still didn't understand that decision though. She just came across as selfish and unpleasant.

Is that that the point? That women can be selfish and unpleasant?

God knows I wanted a few hours away from my firstborn (no family nearby) and resented DH for not having that and ended up opening our relationship (at my suggestion) just so I could get some time away from being "mum*. But I can't empathise with her just walking out on her kids.

My best review: thought-provoking.

I thought there was interesting comparisons between her frustrations with her children, and her frustrations with the big noisy family and the boys in the cinema.
She just wanted peace and to be left alone and they wouldn't let her. And no one supported her, everyone else was so passive her husband, (who didn't satisfy her sexually) Lyle Will , The cinema usher.
She was all alone and so she took matters into her own hands and decided to be selfish and suit herself. She didn't move to another place on the beach....she took the doll.....she left her kids.
I think that she did speak to her daughter's at the end and that they get on pretty well now because children are often very forgiving of their parents bad behaviour.
I