Things I think are true about America based on Tv and Film

[PennyHasNoSurname]

People sort of pick at their food with just a fork - putting it on, scraping it off, moving it round the plate before putting it back on again and eating half of whats on the fork. Food must be stone cold by the end.

Nobody says goodbye on the phone. Now I know us Brits are painfully polite to a fault but "see you later" or "bye" is basic?

Everyone eats out of packets / dried goods. Of which they have 3000 of in their basement

School finishes at about 11am. University is called School (isnt that confusing?!)

Chinese takeaway comes in those square white cardboard boxes with a fold down lid and not foil trays with cardboard lids or plastic tubs like the UK.

Everybody owns a car, even the very poor and teenagers/jobless.

The weather is never a bit meh.

It's either foot deep in snow, raining cats and dogs or glorious sunshine.

You must never go walking in the hills or forests.

You will either get lost or you will be stalked by Deliverance style hillbillies.

If the weather is 'meh' you know that they've filmed in Canada. It always looks a bit greyer and drizzlier there.

All the houses have family dens extending for miles.

Every teen has the world's most irritating kid brother or sister.

All cops are renegades that get better results from not following the rules. Same with their forces (I've worked with American forces in a previous life and never ceased to be shocked at their lack of professionalism). Morgan Freenan is the president.

Everyone over 16 drives everywhere.
There are no plastic carrier bags, just brown paper or cardboard boxes (who knew the Americans were so environmentally friendly?)
There are no hall ways in houses or apartments. Front doors always open straight into living rooms.
The only people who use credit cards are the daughters of rich men.
Everyone who is at least lower middle class has perfect teeth.
Women often combine full make up, manicured nails and elaborate hair styles with very casual clothes, like joggers and trainers (sorry, sneakers).

Most people have a laundry room in their basements, and nobody dries clothes in anything except a top loading dryer.

Barbara, I LOVE those takeaway cartons!

Not many people have a television in their front room. If they do, it is always on a small table in the centre of the room and there is a 3-seater sofa in front of it.

American washing machines look like they're from the 1950s

All American sixth formers (seniors?) look at least 28.

Having lived in the States for a few years, I can tell you that many of the above scenarios are art imitating life...festive lighting that can be seen from space; massively massive houses as standard; red plastic cups and paper plates instead of proper crockery; heeuge schools full of mini fashionistas; newspapers being thrown onto the lawn and then sprinkled on by auto watering system; drive thru everything; drink driving is okay, but alcohol is frowned upon, but driving while talking on a cell phone is actively encouraged. ..

Every frump will be unmasked as the school/office beauty after a helpful makeover from a sympathetic co-pupil/worker.

They seem to eat take out quite often and use paper plates a lot

Americans have clean, dry sex.
Nobody asks for a towel/pants after sex. You never hear anyone say:
"wait, stop, pass me the towel"
"There's no towel"
"Then pass me your pants quick it's running down my leg!"

Never happens.

Showers are large enough for two and the water always covers both as they have sex ( rather than getting in one persons face while the other freezes).

OK, I'm laughing at how many of these are true. And missing my huge house with a den.

If they have a dog they have a labrador.

African Americans are always religious.

People never have a school locker on the lower level, always at eye level.

Kids eat lunch (usually PB&J) out of brown paper bags, which they get given just as the school bus turns up outside.

I wish my chinese take away would use those white boxes - i could watch ncis and play match up.
Otherwise,in every seal team,swat,special forces there is always a chinese/korean who is super tough /not a spy after all.
Everyone gets a can of beer out of the fridge by standing the other side of the door and leaning over and the fridge is always full of just beer.

I am a New Yorker, and I don't know a single person who owns a gun. Also, our drinking water is wonderful, and our schools full of agreeably un-categorisable teenagers. You are right about the exuberant holiday lighting though.

American women are able to dive into the sea without getting their hair wet or ruin their makeup