Annoying movie cliches

[ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]

the sheets - always L shaped, to cover the woman up to her shoulders but the man's chest can be seen

every phone number in America starts with or includes 555

nick a car and drive off? no problem, the person you took it from is your exact height which is why you don't need to adjust the seats or the mirrors

fish tanks - the bigger they are the more likely they will at some point be demolished in a spectacular fashion

blood stains - stays bright red even after months or years

bruises, broken bones and even gunshot wounds heal incredibly quickly

fingerprints taken off buttons are almost always perfectly intact

mobile phones - never need charging, nor do they run out of batteries, unless....

mobile phones run out of battery at the exact moment the hiding person's pursuers are just about to walk off.
darn it, who saw that coming?

drivers do not need to watch the road. looking at and talking to the person in front passanger seat will suffice, the longer they hold each others gaze the faster they can go!

bombs with timer counting back - they get diffused the very last second. count on it!
also the hero must close their eyes and make faces when cutting the wire as these gestures will ensure protection just in case the bomb explodes.

underwater scenes - apart from in Saving Private Ryan's opening scene jumping into water will ensure your safety acting as an invisible shield against a hail of bullets

Woman never says 'not tonight dear, got my period' when it comes to sex scenes.

not quite a cliche, but:
subtitles stating "speaks Eastern European language" or worse "speaks foreign language"

I'm Hungarian. I recognise it's Hungarian. would the signet ring fall off your fingers if you typed in "speaks Hungarian"?
is it so hard?

Yes! Stardusty that is bloody annoying. 'So, Mr Bond let me just tie you up badly and leave you alone on a room so you can figure out a plan before your helpful rescuer friend turns up.' Whereas I imagine RL would involve a quick despatch.

I'm half Hungarian . :)

Waking up in the morning with morning shit sandwich breath, full make-up etc and then going at it again.

-Single hero fighting multi-opponents.

They all dance around on the fringes until he can deal with them one at a time.

As if four wouldn't all take him down by grabbing a limb each.

• Another one for all bombs having a bright red digital countdown clock. I'm sure that this is what has gone on in every terrorist attack situation of all time. "Oh darling, we better get off this bus lickety split - look at that suspicious package with the clock counting down."

-Also bomb disposal being carried out over the telephone with a "shall I cut the blue or the red? The blue NO WAIT the red. NO WAIT the blue" type conversation. Yeah right.

If anyone coughs then it's a sure sign they'll be dead by the end of the film.

Nobody ever has any trouble finding the perfect parking space.

When two people meet and arrange a date the man says "pick you up at 730" but the woman doesn't actually tell him where she lives.

I thought of one on a train the other day. All this jumping off. On the trains I'm on, you'd die instantly. Plus on about half of them the doors are only released when the train stops. On the other half they open manually and outwards like car doors and I'm fairly sure the air rushing over them would make it impossible. Plus those doors are hard to open at the best of times, window down, hand out, grope around without being able to see.
But no, on films it's just open door and jump, bit of groaning, get up and run

Oh yes and if a woman between 15 and 50 vomits we all know she's pregnant. As opposed to a bad prawn.

My brother's fridge just has beer, Coke, milk and condiments (wine is kept in a separate glass-fronted fridge), so I don't think it's just a film cliche. We all had lunch at his house last month and when I put the ketchup back in the fridge I asked him if he had another fridge that he kept the food in and he said that he just buys what he fancies for dinner on the way home from work and doesn't keep any other food.

There was a phase of women in films/tv having sex in bed (so not a quickie) with their bras on, especially Sex and the City.

What are you talking about OP? - men's mobile phone batteries always run out . . . if their partner is in labour. Thus meaning that their partner's baby has to be delivered by their arch enemy/former lover/secret father of the baby/basically anyone but a medical professional.

If you get married one of your friends will somehow have gained whatever the necessary accreditation is to conduct weddings, so you will never have to get married by an official master of ceremonies but by one of your mates ie Joey from Friends or whatsname from Big Bang Theory and didn't this happen in Modern Family as well?

Americans often criticise the NHS but from what I have observed of the American health system from watching Friends:

• it is so lax you are allowed to have all your husband's friends in the delivery room when you start pushing
• it is so uncaring they let a woman have triplets vaginally, and don't even bother to whisk the babies off to special care immediately
• it is so incompetent it cannot detect a baby being in breech position when the mother is very slim with a very small bump (ie there is not loads of water or extra weight preventing palpation of baby's position) until the moment of delivery
• doctors flirt with patients' friends
• doctors go on dates with patients

... I could go on!

My fridge is exactly like your borther's, Bitter Chocolate.

I just go to Tesco next to my office every day.

I think we currently have ketchup and milk in there - and that's it.

No one ever has morning breath!

susie

exception is Julia Roberts in Notting Hill and Elliot & JD in Scrubs