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Feminism: chat

If a rapist says it's all right, then it's not rape?

62 replies

MsAmerica · 27/04/2026 23:08

The Trial of Gisèle Pelicot’s Rapists United France and Fractured Her Family
After fifty-one men were convicted, Pelicot became a feminist hero. But additional accusations left her children struggling to accept her new role.
By Rachel Aviv

At the trial, he admitted to all the charges—“I am a rapist, like those in this room,” he said.

Nearly all the other defendants denied committing a crime. “As long as the man is there, giving me instructions, it’s not rape,” a construction supervisor said.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2026/03/02/the-trial-of-gisele-pelicots-rapists-united-france-and-fractured-her-family

OP posts:
GaIadriel · 11/05/2026 22:16

Emilesgran · 10/05/2026 12:05

For someone who claimed that OTHER people didn’t understand statistics this is amusing.
The reason more women abuse children than men is because far more women are primary carers, and even more so, isolated primary carers than men.

Yes, that may be the case but how often do you see feminists pontificating over the factors that drive male violence? You don't.

GaIadriel · 11/05/2026 22:27

SummerFeverVenice · 11/05/2026 13:22

@gladriel
“I'm not even sure the 'marital rape was acceptable' isn't a load of bollocks too tbh.”
”So, it seems you could rape your wife so long as you didn't do it by force. A simple "sod off, Jeremy" would seemingly have confounded the majority of would be spousal rapists as it's presumably pretty hard to force somebody to do something without using force. It seems more a matter of semantics to me from the little I've read - it took me less than five minutes to find the above.”

Such ignorance from a younger woman who did not live then. Marital rape was not recognised as rape. I was there. I lived it. You are using a search engine to look for records of court cases, there were next to none because the women coerced into sex by their husbands could not file a police report, because technically no crime had been committed.

There was only a crime if force and violence causing grevious bodily harm-as in beaten black and blue had happened and the police station actually felt enough pity to file a charge of assault against their husbands. Most police would advise women to stop angering their husbands, that if they’d just lied back and thought of England their husband would not have had to slap some sense into them and then refuse to file a report.

You basically only had recourse under assault laws.

absolutely shocking that five minutes of Googling makes you think you know better than the lived experience of millions of women who are telling you this is how it was. Read a few books by us.

Edited

You are using a search engine to look for records of court cases, there were next to none because the women coerced into sex by their husbands could not file a police report, because technically no crime had been committed.

Except it was established in 1954 that a man using force to consummate his marriage would have committed assault.

Your argument is the same one that feminists reject about men not reporting DV because there's little point. The bulk of data actually suggests that women commit more DV than men but it doesn't feature in official crime stats because men are 2.4x less likely to report DV - usually out of shame or for fear of losing access to their kids. Charities like Mankind have done a lot of research on this.

I will 100% trust Google as a more reliable source than most feminists. See my earlier post about feminists quoting studies which even the authors have warned are likely not accurate, or using small scale studies of 50 high school students to claim that 'most men would rape if they could get away with it'.

I'd rather trust Nigel Farage tbh. A lot of online 'feminists' are just female MRAs really.

Emilesgran · 12/05/2026 03:16

GaIadriel · 11/05/2026 22:16

Yes, that may be the case but how often do you see feminists pontificating over the factors that drive male violence? You don't.

So your reply to this is “Yes but … something unrelated”.

That’s telling.

Emilesgran · 12/05/2026 03:18

GaIadriel · 11/05/2026 22:16

Yes, that may be the case but how often do you see feminists pontificating over the factors that drive male violence? You don't.

No idea how that’s relevant, except that I suppose it’s leading towards a “It’s women’s fault of men abuse them” point of view.

OtterlyAstounding · 12/05/2026 06:17

GaIadriel · 07/05/2026 22:39

And as for “feminists don’t discuss men risking their lives” well, duh. That would be a strange thing for a feminist to get involved with. Should professional footballers start posting on their twitter feeds about boxers or gymnasts?

It's this kind of disingenuousness that's put me off feminism. I'd wager it's also why the vast majority of women don't identify as feminists nowadays despite supporting 'equality'.

I'd imagine that if professional footballers started claiming to be the toughest sportsmen in history or stating that football was the best sport to develop self defence skills then somebody might pipe up and mention boxing.

Similarly, if feminists are going to present men as the scourge of female existence and claim that we'd be safer with no men around it's a fair observation to point out that despite 100 femicides being prevented annually somebody still has to save thousands of female lives by rescuing them from burning buildings and cutting them out of cars.

I'm not even sure the 'marital rape was acceptable' isn't a load of bollocks too tbh. I decided to Google it as the last two sensational claims I read by feminists were masterpieces of twisting the facts. First was the claim that 'the majority of men would rape if they could get away with it'.

What was omitted was that it was actually only the majority of about 50 American college students who were surveyed. No diversity in age/ethnicity/nationality/religion/etc. They might as well have surveyed 50 Taliban members and proclaimed that 'the majority of men think women shouldn't be allowed outside'. 🤣 Best bit was the fact that these male students were apparently offered course credits for partaking, so they likely just did it for the points and gave silly answers.

Same with the '1 in 5 female students being raped' survey. I read it and there was a foreword by the authors specifically saying it 'probably shouldn't be taken as proof of anything' lol. Turns out they'd asked the students if they'd ever had sex that they regretted and then classified it as 'unwanted sex', which then got lumped in with the sexual assaults etc. They literally said most of the 'victims' probably weren't aware they'd been classified as such and might not agree.

I've seen so many people on here referencing the above but conveniently leaving out the bits I mentioned. And yet I've seen some of the same posters picking holes in the 'Partner Abuse State of Knowledge' metastudy which was undertaken by over 100 university scholars from 20 universities in UK/US/Canada alongside domestic abuse charities/orgs. They read over 10,000 previous studies and analysed in detail the data from 1200 peer reviewed studies.

When they concluded that women actually perpetrate more DV than men, despite causing less fatalities, suddenly the data wasn't strong enough for these posters. Although a study of 50 American teenagers apparently was if it reached the conclusion they liked. Same with the study where the authors literally warned it shouldn't be taken as gospel.

So, ever the cynic, I did some googling to see if spousal rape really was seen as perfectly OK. Seems it's only been used as a legal defence four times and in three of those cases the man was convicted of assault. Here's an excerpt from a trial in 1954, almost four decades before it was made illegal:

Decision/Outcome

That the appellant could not be guilty of rape, as the implied consent of a wife to have intercourse with her husband could only be revoked by court order or a binding separation agreement. In the circumstances, this consent had not been revoked. Nevertheless, a husband was not entitled to use force or violence for the purposes of exercising his right to intercourse; to do so would amount to an assault.

https://www.lawteacher.net/cases/r-v-miller-1954.php

So, it seems you could rape your wife so long as you didn't do it by force. A simple "sod off, Jeremy" would seemingly have confounded the majority of would be spousal rapists as it's presumably pretty hard to force somebody to do something without using force. It seems more a matter of semantics to me from the little I've read - it took me less than five minutes to find the above.

Similarly, women in the UK can't by definition commit rape as it requires a penis. That doesn't mean it would be accurate to state that "it's deemed perfectly acceptable for female teachers to coerce children into sex because not one female teacher has ever been charged with statutory rape as a man would be". In reality they'd be charged with assault just like the spousal sexual assaulter who couldn't by definition be called a rapist at the time (much like how women still can't in this country but can in others).

And no I'm not a cool girl/handmaiden/pick me/sufferer of internalised misogyny etc. I just dislike what are essentially female MRAs. I'd probably rather see all feminists shipped off to Mars than all men tbh. At least we might have a chance of working alongside the good men who make up the majority, rather than suffer this endless whinging by blue haired misanthropes that don't actually do anything to help in the real world. Obv NAFALT but sadly far too many are.

Sorry? I'm afraid I can't understand you with all that cock in your mouth.

"I'm not a handmaiden." Mmhm. Sure you aren't. I'm not going to even bother trying to refute such things as your apparent denial that coercive control, financial abuse, or intimidation existed (and are still wielded) in order to force women into marital rape, without physical force being necessary. It would be like trying to argue with a flat earther.

There's none so blind as those that won't see.

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 12/05/2026 07:06

MsAmerica · 29/04/2026 01:59

Presumably you're aware that much of the better press has a paywall. I provide enough so that you can try a search on your own, or see if you can find the article at a good library.

In this case, I mostly wanted to highlight that remark.

Well that's me put in my place isn't it?

MsAmerica · 12/05/2026 23:33

Emilesgran · 10/05/2026 08:03

Of course. In fact I could just as well have said that if men disappeared tomorrow the cause of the vast majority of violent deaths of all humans would disappear - except that of course there would be no more male victims either.

https://www.unodc.org/documents/data-and-analysis/statistics/crime/UN_BriefFem_251121.pdf

For the U.K., two women are murdered per week by a man. The numbers of men killed by women are tiny.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/domesticabusevictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2025

Sorry, I'm not going to read a 30-page or 18-point document. I was hoping for a brief article from a reliable source.

However, that said, I did take a quick glance, and although they did all point at men as murderers, I didn't happen to see anything proving anything about the single biggest source of death.

OP posts:
Emilesgran · 13/05/2026 06:39

MsAmerica · 12/05/2026 23:33

Sorry, I'm not going to read a 30-page or 18-point document. I was hoping for a brief article from a reliable source.

However, that said, I did take a quick glance, and although they did all point at men as murderers, I didn't happen to see anything proving anything about the single biggest source of death.

I’m not surprised you didn’t read it when you clearly didn’t even read the post you were replying to. It says “violent deaths” not “all deaths”.

It’s also noticeable that you’re looking for back up links but then rejecting the ones you get, while not providing any links to back up your own views.

I mean, the claim that female deaths would rise if men disappeared also needs proof but there’s been no attempt whatsoever to show what data that’s based on. The idea that women couldn’t step into the roles left by the disappearing men is bizarre.

GaIadriel · 19/05/2026 20:42

OtterlyAstounding · 12/05/2026 06:17

Sorry? I'm afraid I can't understand you with all that cock in your mouth.

"I'm not a handmaiden." Mmhm. Sure you aren't. I'm not going to even bother trying to refute such things as your apparent denial that coercive control, financial abuse, or intimidation existed (and are still wielded) in order to force women into marital rape, without physical force being necessary. It would be like trying to argue with a flat earther.

There's none so blind as those that won't see.

The vast majority of women don't identify as feminists nowadays.

And you know what they say....when somebody thinks everybody else is the problem, it's usually them that's the issue.

GaIadriel · 19/05/2026 20:52

Emilesgran · 12/05/2026 03:18

No idea how that’s relevant, except that I suppose it’s leading towards a “It’s women’s fault of men abuse them” point of view.

Translation - "I'm just going to pretend I don't understand the point so I don't have to challenge my world view".

The point is that people like you love to wang on about all the nasty men and the violence they commit. But when somebody points out a primarily female perpetrated crime like child abuse it quickly becomes "oh wait, we need to look at the reasons for this and justify why women commit these crimes".

It's why there's always a 'reason' for women committing DV - must've been self defence/been pushed to it/finally snapped after years of abuse/etc. It's probably why women commit more DV and yet the majority of people aren't even aware of the stats (especially those that love moaning about male DV!).

Cheese55 · 19/05/2026 21:05

Moaning?

Emilesgran · Yesterday 12:50

Cheese55 · 19/05/2026 21:05

Moaning?

Yeah. Plus "women commit more DV" 🙄

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